Captions needed for next issue...

[Mathewbet1]

 

"i had one hand on each arse cheek' 'Then Wayne walked in. The rest you know''

[Acid]

 

BR: Two fuckin times I saw you have a shot! PACK IT IN!

[Guest LFD]

 

Interviewer: "Luis, is David Moyes manager of the decade?"

 

Suarez: "Errr..."

[Paisley]

 

 

''Everton finally figure out a way of getting hands on a trophy''

[Thants]

 

(OFF): A sphincter says what?

[Thants]

 

Stevie: Do you know you've got a Critter on your head?

[Trumo]

''Everton finally figure out a way of getting hands on a trophy''

 

Superb. Repped.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

 

The goose drank wine

The monkey chewed tobacco on the streetcar line

[Trumo]

Rafa was desperate to be popular again.

 

 

RB: Aaaaaaayyyy, sexy lay-deeee!

 

 

 

Fat Sam proves his understanding of sign language isn't all that.

 

 

Moyes regaled Martinez about his managerial roll of honour.

 

 

DM: That's Taff's Tavern. T-A-F-F-S.

[brucespanner]

 

*In head* Twenty million fucking queens heads on you you useless cunt!

 

*Turns to the gathered throng of journos*

 

Stewart's dedication to the cause has been exemplary.

[1892-LFCWasBorn]

 

DM: "These teeth cost me all of £10. You want my dentists number?"

 

 

 

Thinks to self: "I might actually have a chance of winning some headers today"

 

 

 

Thinks to self: "I'm sure I put my Dummies Guide To Winning A Trophy in one of these pockets"

[Jack the Sipper]

SG: "...Todd Unctious?"

[Unrighteous]

Oh shit is that Montse...

 

Terry, stop humping my wife's leg!

[Unrighteous]

...then Roman opens his chequebook and---

 

--ROMAN!!!!!

[gkmacca]

THE GREAT DISAPPEARING GLOVE PUPPET CRISIS OF 2013:

 

 

 

Ha ha, yes! That's what I thought, Sooty. Sooty? Who the feck has stolen Sooty???

 

 

 

 

Oh, come on, Sweep, go and give Stu a cuddle, like I do. That's right, you just - bloody hell, SWEEP??? Where's Sweep gone???

 

 

 

 

Sooty? Sweep? I have not seen either of them, heh heh!

[Guest LFD]

 

Vile, hairy, poisonous, creepy...

 

But enough about Pardew here he is holding a spider!

[goatboy59]

Rafa takes "stay friendly with Terry" advice too far

 

 

RB: "Wanna show me a good time, big boy?"

JT: "..................yeah, okay........."

[goatboy59]

Arsene Wanker?

 

 

I tuck the empty sleeves in the pockets, and my hands goes to wohorrrrrrrk

[goatboy59]

 

"I'm going to have a word with your boss"

 

 

 

"I'm going to have a word with your boss"

 

 

 

"And they wouldn't give me anything, so can you have a word please?"

[goatboy59]

 

"You take that back! I'm the most easy-going guy you'll ever meet"

[Unrighteous]

... then I pull out and realize that it was Fernando all along!

[Unrighteous]

Some brilliant ones in here lads.

[Unrighteous]

So, what is this I hear about you and Fernando?

[goatboy59]

 

LS: So you're Scholesy's lad are you? I should have guessed.

kid: Yeah. He said to ask you about your sister's cat, or something.

[goatboy59]

Lucas Diet To Be Revised