Corporate bellendary at work.

[lifetime fan]

You've revealed your true identity Col.

 

 

I did years ago mate.

[lifetime fan]

Sent this to the board.

 

 

Unsocial hours.

The *** are looking for fairness and equality across job families but by removing the unsocial hours bonus you are doing the exact opposite. It has long been accepted those doing a similar job Monday to Friday 9-5 have more time to spend with family and have healthier lives. Staff working evenings, weekends and waking nights were given a small amount of money to recognise this and by removing it from direct care staff you are cutting salaries. Stating base salaries will not be cut won't wash, care staff will look at their take home pay and it's going to be cut. And lets not forget without direct care staff there is no *** so why should they have to take the full brunt of this?

 

The consultation policy states the *** wants to get rid of the unsocial hours bonus to improve it's lowest paid workers. However the lowest paid workers in the South West region are not receiving pay rises, they are being mapped against the new banding and salaries will remain the same. The only people to have been told they may possibly get a pay rise at some indefinite point in the future are Registered Managers. Do the *** not realise people will talk to colleagues and have friends working for the *** in different services and roles?

 

Why should 2 people doing the same job (family), one working Monday to Friday 9-5 and the other working weekends, Christmas, waking nights etc be paid the same? It is quite frankly insulting and to try to insist in the same consultation the *** wants to maintain, motivate and rewards its staff is a joke. A cynic would accuse the *** of wanting experienced (read expensive) staff to leave.

 

One of the *** values is 'We are experts'. The *** prides itself on providing specialist services, it charges specialist rates to local authorities to reflect this but then wants to pay it's staff the median. How does this motivate staff, retain them and reward them? Staff do not want gimmicks like gym membership, Tesco discount, duvet days (a more ridiculous idea I've never heard of, how much did Anon Hewitt cost the ***?) etc. They want a living wage and to not have their pay cut after 3 years of pay freezes.

 

 

Sick pay.

Why do we have to penalise the vast majority of honest, dedicated and conscientious workers because managers have been unable to mange sickness properly? If managers are failing in this regard they should be held to account by their managers and so on, up the chain. Instead the *** are penalising all staff for the very small minority who abuse the system and managers failing to deal with this. Not paying sick pay for the first 3 days of absence penalises those who may take off one day every couple of years and does nothing to address the issue of managers not dealing with staff abusing the policy.

 

 

Duvet days.

How was this put into the consultation by someone with a straight face? Has anyone on the senior *** board or for that matter Anon Hewitt ever worked with a person with Autism? We support people that require structure, routine, predictability. How on earth is this going to be implemented in services? Do I call up 6am on Christmas morning, say I'm having a duvet day and I won't be coming in? How will this work in Outreach where staff are lone working with people in the community? Who will explain the concept of duvet days to the people we support?

If the *** want to increase leave entitlement instead then I'd again argue staff want a living wage rather than more leave, the leave entitlement at the moment is already fair.

 

 

Overtime.

Discretionary overtime simply will not work and why should direct care staff who are going to be having their salaries cut (£3k and more for some) then volunteer to work additional hours with out extra pay? Extra days off do not pay mortgages, rent, fuel bills or petrol. There needs to be a choice between TOIL or overtime and the worker must be able to choose which they would prefer. I hardly need to point out staff not wanting to work additional hours will lead to an increase in agency staff and cost the *** more.

 

 

Concerns.

I have to say this consultation has been very poorly organised, ill thought out and does not provide staff with the necessary information to make an informed choice. The cynic would ask if this has been deliberate and was merely a paper exercise for good publicity? If not and this was a genuine attempt to engage with staff to boost morale it has failed miserably and has in fact made matters worse.

 

I would love to know the cost of contracting Anon Hewitt as they have stated themselves the information on comparable salaries in the voluntary sector was publically available. Were they contracted for the duvet day idea? Or to map the job families, where all the information they were given to do this was already available to the ***?

 

As I have stated the consultation document lacks the information (apart from the *** wanting to cut salaries of direct care staff) to make an informed decision and as such I shall not be voting for an option.

 

If someone from the *** wanted to contact me to discuss my concerns further I would be happy to talk to them at a time of their convenience.

 

Yours disgruntledly

 

Colin.

[Champ]

Not thinking of applying for promotion in the near future, then?

 

Btw, what the fuck is a duvet day?

[VladimirIlyich]

Not thinking of applying for promotion in the near future' date=' then?

 

Btw, what the fuck is a duvet day?[/quote']

 

Was going to ask the same thing.

 

Guessing it means simply staying in bed and under the duvet.

[lifetime fan]

Not thinking of applying for promotion in the near future, then?

 

Btw, what the fuck is a duvet day?

 

 

Ahahaha - Not really no. I was thinking of sending it to everyone in the organisation but stopped myself. Fair Use of IT Policy you see.

 

A duvet day is when you wake up in the morning with a hangover and can't be arsed to go into work so take the day off without having to pretend you've a bug. No prior notice and you can take it whenever you want.

[Champ]

 

Ahahaha - Not really no. I was thinking of sending it to everyone in the organisation but stopped myself. Fair Use of IT Policy you see.

 

A duvet day is when you wake up in the morning with a hangover and can't be arsed to go into work so take the day off without having to pretend you've a bug. No prior notice and you can take it whenever you want.

 

I had heard about it but couldn't imagine how it could possibly work in direct work with people, especially, as you say, people who crave routine. And how much are the people who come up with this crap paid?

[lifetime fan]

I had heard about it but couldn't imagine how it could possibly work in direct work with people, especially, as you say, people who crave routine. And how much are the people who come up with this crap paid?

 

 

That we'll never know. Despite my polite request.

[Bellflower]

We got told the other week we couldn't charge our mobile phones in work or plug in a radio on overtime. The reason for this is that there was a power outage on the 7th floor one Saturday. Some bell end has decided that it must have been caused by people charging their phones and listening to their radios on our floor which is the first. No evidence of this was given, just filed under the massive "health and safety reasons" banner.

 

Bearing in mind that our building is a 9 storey building that also has a kitchen area on every level, all the outside is lit up at night, and has a coffee shop on level 1 and was built originally with a restaurant and a large gym so was designed to cope with massive amounts of electricity being used. However, the power going down must have been caused by someone charging their iPhone or listening to the match.

Quite right too. It's painfully obvious that the electricity is being stolen on its way up to the 7th floor.......................

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

'Crack On!'

 

Thats all i hear every fucking day.

[VladimirIlyich]

'Crack On!'

 

Thats all i hear every fucking day.

 

Do you work in the adult film industry?

[Preston Red]

I'm the Continuous Improvement Senior Analyst

 

You've just reminded me of the story my dad told me about when he was at Aerospace.

 

After Rover went tits up, Aerospace decided it'd be a great idea to bring in their Continuous Improvement Team to "make things move smoothly". On the first day this rather jolly woman bounded into the area my dad and several other lads worked in. My dad was a fitter by the way. Upon introducing herself and coming across as a clueless fuckwit given she worked in a CAR manufacturing plant which churned out hundreds of cars a week and was now trying to churn out fighter jets. Constant meetings and new systems of working practices soon took their toll and one morning another meeting was called to discuss targets and fuck about with pie charts. After a lot of inane dribble of office speak, the scouser who worked with my dad had enough of this shite and decided to ask this woman if she considered herself useful. She replied that she was. Scouser replies "You could be even more useful. See that mop and bucket over there. Get fucking using it!". Woman bursts into tears and stormed out. She left 2 days later.

[Rico1304]

Not sure if it really belongs on here but anyway...

 

Our annual bonus (performance related) is always paid in March's wages. This year it's going to be April - any coincidence that the 50p tax rate is abolished at the end of the tax year so anything in April will be at 40% rather than 50% so all the top dogs are much better off. Obviously not, this change is for my benefit...because getting my bonus a month later than usual is really fucking helpful.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Having had my maternity secondment turned into a permanent position I am no longer exempt from team building exercises. There is one coming up which involves a fishing rod, a blind fold and something to pick up. Cost the company £500 for the kit!!!! If you want to improve moral and build relationships inter department stick that money behind the bar and take us out for an afternoon

[Pidge]

Got a meeting today to "engage" with the business model. This is the kind of shite you end up doing when the annual feedback summary says everyone thinks the management are clueless. They start asking you for clues...

[Champ]

Having had my maternity secondment turned into a permanent position I am no longer exempt from team building exercises. There is one coming up which involves a fishing rod, a blind fold and something to pick up. Cost the company £500 for the kit!!!! If you want to improve moral and build relationships inter department stick that money behind the bar and take us out for an afternoon

 

Morale, maybe, improving morals may require a different strategy!

[Furmedge]

Having had my maternity secondment turned into a permanent position I am no longer exempt from team building exercises. There is one coming up which involves a fishing rod' date=' a blind fold and something to pick up. Cost the company £500 for the kit!!!! If you want to improve moral and build relationships inter department stick that money behind the bar and take us out for an afternoon[/quote']

 

To be fair to my MD he's good at team building shit. The other week we went to a boxing club and spent 2 hours sparring and the like and then paid for apartments for us to get trollied in. For tomorrow he's instructed some of the team leaders to arrange a night out for themselves plus the management team (me included) for a sit down meal and a few beers afterwards. Plus it's all paid for. Thats my kind of team building.

[Unrighteous]

Duvet days.

 

[Skidfingers McGonical]

My place recently introduced team leaders and they report into me. I agree they are pointless (in our place anyway) but it gives me a chance to 'delegate' all the shit I can't be arsed doing so I have more time to fuck about on here.

 

Ah! So that is why you asked me if I was interested?

 

On to you lad.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

 

Ha!

 

When I worked with Vincent Vega in O2 a few years back they used to have duvet days. They came out of the holiday allocation and you were only allowed one two a month I think.

 

Basically it means "I can't be arsed and want to to stay in bed all day"

 

I get flexi-time where I am, I only need to work an extra 7h24 per month and I get two half day's or a full day. So I get in 4 minutes early each day to build up the time and I get an extra 11 days (can't use them in December) off a year because it is impossible not to build up the flexi time.

[Redder Lurtz]

Good work that, Skids. Playing the system. I like it.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Good work that, Skids. Playing the system. I like it.

 

I must add I get in 45 minutes early. Not 4.

 

There are people who always end up owing the company time. Unreal.

[Liverpool lad]

Having had my maternity secondment turned into a permanent position I am no longer exempt from team building exercises. There is one coming up which involves a fishing rod' date=' a blind fold and something to pick up. Cost the company £500 for the kit!!!! If you want to improve moral and build relationships inter department stick that money behind the bar and take us out for an afternoon[/quote']

 

What a fucking waste of money

[Furmedge]

 

Ah! So that is why you asked me if I was interested?

 

On to you lad.

 

You were good at filing in the last place we were at together. Plus you look good in a skirt.

[VladimirIlyich]

 

Ha!

 

When I worked with Vincent Vega in O2 a few years back they used to have duvet days. They came out of the holiday allocation and you were only allowed one two a month I think.

 

Basically it means "I can't be arsed and want to to stay in bed all day"

 

I get flexi-time where I am' date=' I only need to work an extra 7h24 per month and I get two half day's or a full day. So I get in 4 minutes early each day to build up the time and I get an extra 11 days (can't use them in December) off a year because it is impossible not to build up the flexi time.[/quote']

 

My lads in a flexi time job where he can accrue days off, a local housing association HQ. It sounds a good idea to me.

[Champ]

 

Meanwhile' date=' we've now got 2 'Team Leaders' working day time hours who have no idea what they're meant to be doing to make up their hours. Madness[/quote']

 

I noticed yesterday in the minutes of the management group meeting that 'there is still some flexibility around the TL role'....

which translates as they still haven't worked out what they're meant to do now they no longer work on shift