Date thread

[lifetime fan]

One thing that freaked me out about that bird I took out last Thursday was her name was Victoria and I asked her if she went by that or Vicky. And she said "It used to be Vicky but now that I'm in management I tend to use Victoria." Klaxons sounded, emergency dive.

 

 

I know someone who refused a date because she called herself 'Tory'.

[bigbak]

I saw recent shag last night and told her it was off as I wasn't feeling it. It took 90 minutes to get away. She was starting to fall for me and the more she saw me, the more she was falling for me apparently.

 

Some 40 year old started messaging me yesterday. I asked for a picture of her boobs, but she sent me a shot of herself covering them. She looked ok.

 

To cut a long story short she's agreed to send me a picture of the bath in the room where she's staying. Not sure how the fuck I got downgraded from a boob pic to a bath pic.

 

I messaged probably 15 women over Easter on POF and not a sausage. They view my profile and never reply.

[stringvest]

 

I messaged probably 15 women over Easter on POF and not a sausage. They view my profile and never reply.

 

I told you that picture of Dave U would never work.

[Hooch]

Is bigbak real?

[Unrighteous]

Is bigbak real?

 

[Captain]

Well we've just started going out, it's all brand new and exciting then I only get to see her for one night in the next two months. Just seems a bit shit really. I've no patience and I've probably done the wrong thing hence the weekend of copious amounts of tequila. Oh and I've smoked about 20 cigs over the last two days. Smart.

 

I last met Ms. Captain late February and won't see her again until June.

 

Just to let you know others are worse off.

[Rico1304]

I last met Ms. Captain late February and won't see her again until June.

 

Just to let you know others are worse off.

 

4 months? I'm guessing 3rd conviction for shoplifting.

[Champ]

Is bigbak real?

 

I've got my doubts

[Lurtz]

I last met Ms. Captain late February and won't see her again until June.

 

Just to let you know others are worse off.

 

Probably a lot of different other factors too Capt.

 

Anyway, there's been a couple of texts. Not confident but we'll see what happens.

[bigbak]

Is bigbak real?

 

Ask Melons.

[VladimirIlyich]

 

Ask Melons.

 

So you could actually be made entirely of latex?

[Pureblood]

What if that one time you get to see her in all those months and she's on the jam rags? That would be hard to take.

[brucespanner]

What if that one time you get to see her in all those months and she's on the jam rags? That would be hard to take.

 

Any fool know that all she has to do is double drop the pill before she comes on for a full on, blood free, fuck fest.

 

You lot and your knowledge of feminine lure is abysmal at best!

[skend04]

Any fool know that all she has to do is double drop the pill before she comes on for a full on, blood free, fuck fest.

 

You lot and your knowledge of feminine lure is abysmal at best!

 

Brilliant!

[Remmie]

When she is on the splat her mouth still works and she's not bleeding from the arse....yet.

[Bjornebye]

My birds ski'ing in France with her mum and dad, facetime sex every-night so far.

 

Just saying.

[Jairzinho]

Not the only skiing she's doing.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Class sig Bjornebye

[bigbak]

I thought last night's date had gone quite well. We'd had a meal, she kept playing with her hair and made eye contact quite a few times. I should have left it there and said goodnight, but no, I suggested going to a bar.

With my new found confidence I dismantled the previous two hours good work. Apparently I used the p and b word and my background was a lot to take in "for a woman of class and age".

 

I do remember talking about a work colleague not doing his misses doggy style and being shocked that he'd told me. She'd taken this as me being one of the lad's at work and discussing my sexual exploits. I professed my innocence, but fuck it, yes I am as you know.

 

She had nice tits by the looks of it. Too prim and proper really. Apparently she wants to meet up as friends the next time she's in town. Yeah right.

 

Nothing new lined up, but I've fired off around 30 messages.

[Lurtz]

Been in touch with mine again over the weekend. It's fucking hard work as she'll sometimes go for a drink or two after work then text me at 3am. Anyway I've offered to make her my amazing meatballs and pasta and she said that sounded like it could work. (I've been very clever there as not only did I mean it in a euphomistic way but also in a literal sense. It's a win-win but only I know that.)

 

I've also been bollocked for my behaviour by a couple of friends I know and trust so am now in little doubt that it was me who was in the wrong. Bollocks to that though, she'll get the apology she needs and no more. Fingers crossed it'll be back on within the next week or two. She's back from the states this coming weekend but I don't know when I'll see her.

[Captain Turdseye]

Does it bother you, Lurtz, that she's over there with American blokes bollocks banging off her chin while you're sat at home crying into your spaghetti?

[melons]

Ask Melons.

 

What've I done?

 

 

So you could actually be made entirely of latex?

 

I've got one of those real penis' now, you know those that's attached to a man with a pulse and all that.

 

 

 

I've also been bollocked for my behaviour by a couple of friends I know and trust so am now in little doubt that it was me who was in the wrong. Bollocks to that though, she'll get the apology she needs and no more. Fingers crossed it'll be back on within the next week or two. She's back from the states this coming weekend but I don't know when I'll see her.

 

Why can't you nip over the states on a short trip during the time she's there? Yeah it's hardly nipping up to Scotland for the weekend but might be worth doing once or twice?

 

And yeah, you were out of order but i've got one of those self destruct switches myself. Mr Melons has the patience of a saint, fair play.

[bigbak]

What've I done?

 

They don't believe I'm real.

[Lurtz]

Why can't you nip over the states on a short trip during the time she's there? Yeah it's hardly nipping up to Scotland for the weekend but might be worth doing once or twice?

 

 

Because she was only there for 2 weeks then home for 2, there now for another 2 weeks, home for 2 then away for 3 weeks then home. A day trip to Arkansas doesn't seems practical.

[Champ]

 

Because she was only there for 2 weeks then home for 2' date=' there now for another 2 weeks, home for 2 then away for 3 weeks then home. A day trip to Arkansas doesn't seems practical.[/quote']

 

She said a short trip, not a day trip!