stalkers

[Wor Horse]

I really don't want this to end up like a Simon thread but i'm pretty fucking freaked out. I've been seeing this bird on and off for about 4 months now and we have these ridiculous arguments, we've split up 5 times in 4 months, once every 3 weeks I think near enough to the day.

 

But anyway, about 2 weeks ago we had another 'argument' I told her to go her way and i'll go mine, I was sick of it and she's fucking mental.

 

Anyway I've done the whole shabang, deleted her off Facebook (because I knew she was dangerous to start off with), deleted her number off me phone and got her on block on MSN.

 

So yeah, I'd forgotten about her really until last Friday night when I decided to unblock her cause i'd had a few, I didn't talk to her but just left it on, she starts signing in and out and changing her name every 5 minutes in an attempt to get my attention, this goes on for about four fucking hours with no reply until about 11.30 when she pops up and goes

 

"Oh your ex girlfriend has tried adding me on Facebook, just thought i'd tell you in case she's stalking your other mates" The scary thing is, i've never told her about the ex in question, she's either gone back through my wall posts to about a year ago and read the wall-to-wall posts or spoken to someone, but I doubt it as she knows none of my mates.

 

So i emailed my ex, we're still on good terms, and she hasn't the foggiest what I'm on about. I thought maybe she's lying as she still likes me so gave this bird the benefit of the doubt. So anyway, after this episode I put her back on block and again, forget about her for a week.

 

Then today I get an invitation on MSN and Facebook. This stalker bird has made a brand new MSN account, made a brand new Facebook simply because I wasn't online for her. It really really freaked me out, so I decided to talk to her to see what she was up to. Her reasoning was that she thought her MSN was broke so wanted to create a new one to talk to me again....... !!!!

 

We got talking and she used the arl "Oh i've got a date this friday" line in an attempt to get me jealous. So I just went to her "oh yeah i've been on a few lately" and her response to this gave me the chills. "Oh yeah a few sundays ago wasn't it, you went to the pub and then to a club afterwards and she had to go home early" She named the pub, club, time, all sorts.

 

GF, what the fuck do I do, I'm worried for my life I think! Thank fuck she doesn't know where I live (I think, I hope.... fuck!!!!)

 

How do i get her to leave me the fuck alone but without bringing out her cuckoo side?

 

And if you're thinking it's me that was fucking her about, it was the other way round, she caused all the arguments with her fucking weirdness.

 

[/JEREMYKYLE]

Edited May 18, 2010 by Wor Horse

[Guest PurpleNose]

Be a cunt. Tell her she's a boring spastic. Tell her she's made you into a gayer.

 

Why would you bother with a four month relationship where you've broken up five times?

 

My mate is in a similar relationship, probably worse. Think they once broke up, got back together, broke up, and then got back together, all within about 3 hours. I've been in the room with the two of them (and some other people, watching shit relationships isn't a fetish of mine) where they were calling each other cunts etc

 

Have a proper relationship or make it quite clear that you're only seeing her (anyone) for sexual convience. Relationships are fucking shit if you don't actually like her, like.

 

Can't believe I type this shit for free.

[Wor Horse]

I'm not arsed mate, was looking for a way to let her down gently as I don't want my testicals superglued to my thigh when I wake up one morning.

 

May just go down the fuck off you boring spastic route though.

 

Anyone else had a stalker?

[Guest PurpleNose]

I'm not arsed mate, was looking for a way to let her down gently as I don't want my testicals superglued to my thigh when I wake up one morning.

 

May just go down the fuck off you boring spastic route though.

 

Anyone else had a stalker?

 

Good plan. I've only been stalked once, and that response works. Did it in the middle of a pub, infront of loads of people. Works a fucking treat.

 

Stop stalking me you phenomenally repulsive warthog.

[Wor Horse]

She's actually truly mental though.

 

Really should have heed the warning signs. But I thought with my cock and not my head.

 

She said to me tonight "Oh but don't worry about this date on Friday, there's no sex, i've told him I'm on my period" what the actual fuck.

[Guest PurpleNose]

Who goes on a date knowing she's on blob?

 

Presumably you've bummed this mental at your house. As its been four months, she'd be a little suspicious if you hadn't. Can't you just move house?

[Wor Horse]

No she's never been round.

 

I always went to hers. THANK FUCK.

[Guest PurpleNose]

Fuck. She's mental alright.

 

You could always catch aids, to give her aids. Obviously it would involve catching, and indeed having, aids. You don't have aids do you?

[Wor Horse]

That sounded like a line out of the Peep Show. No I don't have aids.

 

I'm sure this thread will carry on though, she's sure to do more mental shit and i'll list it all tomorrow when I can be arsed/don't have to get up at 7am because cunting Tescos decided between the hours of 7am and 9am would be an ace time to deliver a telly. But fuck the cunts.

[Guest PurpleNose]

Probably best not to have aids.

 

I intended to go to sleep 2 hours ago. Trying, without much luck, to find a fu**ol shirt online. Blag if possible.

[razor]

As long as you don't have any pets you hold in any kind of affection, there's nothing to worry about. I once watched a documentary where a woman boiled Michael Douglas's pet rabbit.

[Remmie]

JNP is the forum stalkee round here don't you know? You've tried to steal his mantle with aplomb and as a result you will double your stalkers as he will avenge you for aplomb like mantle taking. By stalking you.

 

Personally I've never held the proud status of stalkee. I think I would do kind things for my stalker like send them pictures of my faeces and half eaten cakes so that they could lick my saliva off it and other weird stalking pastimes. I may even make a sport of it and out stalk them.

 

Stalking.

[The Special One]

Meh. Sounds mental but stalker? She probably told all her mates about you and they see you about and report to her. I doubt she'd get physically violent but I do apologize if you wake up tomorrow with your penis glued to your thigh. Sweet dreams.

[Rex Banner]

That sounds tiring. I have had a girl like that before but I have learnt my lesson and don't put up with that hassle any more, I just get out quick if I see the signs.

[Jose Jones]

Give her a real good bumming for old times sake and then fake your own death.

It’s the only way really.

[Victor Ganges]

Fake her death. That would proper confuse her and no mistake.

[Section_31]

Go on silent running again, stay off Facebook etc for a bit, maybe even change your number. I've know a few birds like this and have deleted more people than Mossad.

[Jose Jones]

By George, you’re onto something Victor!

Fake her death!

[Wor Horse]

Might just have to do that Secsh.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I think I speak on behalf of the entire forum when I say....

 

 

Post pictures.

[sloth_frattelli]

You can't move on until this issue has been addressed. Imagine if you were to meet a new girl and having to explain this wild thing away when she inevitably intrudes upon your new relationship, that's a cock-block right away.

 

PS. I don't have the solution by the way, I was merely proferring my tuppence-worth.

[Guest davelfc]

How do i get her to leave me the fuck alone but without bringing out her cuckoo side?

 

 

 

[/JEREMYKYLE]

 

 

Well if you were a woman, I'd advise putting a stone on in weight, that would shift any stalker.

 

But as you're a bloke, I advise turning the tables. Tell her you've been thinking of nobody else but her, you think you should marry and you cannot wait for her to have your children. Tell her you've been thinking of nothing else but growing old with her and you want to be with her every single minute of the day. Tell her you've planned the wedding, the date and have already bought a cot and pram off your married mate.

 

If that doesn't get her running away, nothing will.

 

(disclaimer: this could make the situation a LOT worse)

[Magic Sponge]

Smash her, lad.

[odris]

Post naked pictures of her up on a random forum (like this one), that will teach her.

[Guest davelfc]

Does she have a sister?