sloth_frattelli

Do you smoke cannabis? That's how I was when I was on it.

I reckon you did the right thing lifting the phone instead of your hands. Like you say, the police would most likely have came down hard on you for administering some 'rough justice'. Seems your own past boils up in you over this and that's understandable. Don't lose it though, he ain't worth it. If you do ever give him a tanking, just make sure it's not in front of his kids or heat of the moment stuff.

My mate is whipped. He barters with his wife to agree on a set time that he's allowed to stay out to, seriously. I'd agreed to share a taxi home with him at an engagement party last week. When I asked him what time he was heading home he said "Quarter past eleven. I told her I'd only stay for 3 hours and I arrived here at quarter past eight so I've booked my taxi in advance." Caught him texting home a few times that night too. Muh'fucker got it bad.

Are you the new Simon?

Gruesome bunch and the book is scary as fuck. The documentary last night seemed to be leaning toward the suggestion that Murphy may have been given a 'free pass' by the security forces to slaughter Catholics. Although I can't agree with this I will say that I believe more could have been done by the police in their efforts to catch him and his gang earlier.

Alex Zane and Richard Hammond - for squeezing every last drop out of any joke/awkward moment. Bastards.

Love, Honour and Obey is gash.

She's fully clothed... It looks like something off You've Been Framed. I wanna hear Harry Hill's take on this.

John Arne Riise Tintin Martin Fowler(?!)

Great! It's my fish's birthday next week.

The playground games - British Bulldogs, School Team Vs The Rest, Tippy Tig, Bash the Bastards etc. I remember the hysteria created by a pre-arranged fight too, absolute blood-thirsty kids spreading the news of a fight after school like it was the second coming of Christ Himself. The fear of the school hard-nuts is something to behold as well. The dread they could instill in all the other kids, looking back now, was crazy. We had our fair share of tough kids in our school and I remember hearing older people saying that a bully will back down if you stand up to them and thinking, "Yeah, but you don't know this fella..." I suppose I'd probably tell any kids I ever have the exact same thing and they'll be thinking the same as I did.

Porky's - First time I'd seen it, got the 1 & 2 boxset off Amazon. I thought it was pretty good. 7/10 Jackie Brown - Going through the DVD collection with the girlfriend on Saturday night and went with this as it's been a few years since I'd last seen it. It's not in the same league as Pulf Fiction but still worth a watch. The soundtrack is well groovy. 7/10

I can vouch for the Argos Outlet on eBay, I got my laptop from there and have recommended it to others.

Changing the tv channel back in time for the programme restarting is always a winner in my house.

This is simple, yet tasty. Perfect for us manly men... Some chorizo, cut up into cubes 1 Pepper, also cubed Some mushrooms, as cubey as you can chop them Good cheese, cube this too Packet of cous cous Small drizzle of oil Pre-heat your oven to somewhere around 150C and cube your ingredients. Throw the pepper, mushrooms and chorizo into something oven-proof (I used a casserole dish) with a drizzle of oil. Keep hold of the cheese for now. Prepare your cous cous - I used the freeze dried Aynsley Harriott stuff. Turn off the oven, then mix in your cous cous and cheese to the casserole dish and throw back in the oven for 5 mins. The cous cous will dry up a bit and the cheese will 'submit.' Remove dish once you have prepared your drink and gathered your cutlery. Voila.

Where did you download the Advanced Task Killer from? I'm trying to explain this app to a work colleague who's HTC barely lasts a day. Cheers.

The girlfriend of a colleague turned up at our Christmas do. I told her that when I looked at her through the end of my pint glass, she didn't look that old... Didn't go down well. I still refuse to apologise, 'twas only a joke after all.

Fair play Chevvers, you're getting through the game at a phenomenal rate. I must nit-pick over everything as it takes me ages to get through a season. I got the patch which seems to have fixed the crashes I was getting and I started a new game with Vauxhall Motors in the Blue Square North division. I'm hoping to drag them up through the divisions and eventually all the way to glory. Took in a few decent freebies and got rid of all the deadwood and high earners who weren't gonna fit in with my formation. The media prediction for Vauxhall Motors were that they would finish bottom of the league, so as the nation's shittest team I've gone for a counter-attacking 5-3-2 to scrape out draws and snatch some sneaky wins. This worked well for the first lot of games, we went on a streak of going 7 games unbeaten setting a new record. Another record smashed when Brett Stanley became Vauxhall's youngest ever player/goalscorer when he notched an equaliser against Alfreton aged 16 years and 241 days. I think morale was crushed when our unbeaten run came to an end and we've since suffered some bad results both home and away but I'll perservere with this formation in the hope that the players are still getting accustomed and will start to produce some magic. Still keeping a beady eye on the freebies market - with a transfer budget of £0 and a wage budget of £28k I have to be prudent. I've got an affiliation with Tranmere and have put in a request to loan their promising youngster Max Power(!). It's mid-October and we're sitting in 12th. Long runs the fox...

On a recent shopping trip, my girlfriend complained that we don't have an outside plug socket to plug outdoor Christmas decorations into. Whoosh...

YES! Inbetweeners Belinda Stewart-Wilson strips to underwear for photoshoot | Mail Online

Not so much that picture... I preferred the showering stills. By preferred I mean wanked all over.

Is there any riding/humping/nip slips in this? If not, I'm out.

I hate other people's chatter on the bus. Does that make me old? I just wanna read my book in silence you inane fucks, stop talking about your sister's wedding.

Some examples... "Would you like to go halfers on a bastard?" "How's your arse for lovebites?" I actually slipped up while speaking to an older lady in work recently. She remarked that she was taking a day's leave the next day to which I replied "Doing anything nice or are you just having it off?" She was all over that like a rash, thought it was hilarious the dirty clart. Another time, in work again, I was standing beside a tall blonde waiting on the lift who told me that she was too lazy to take the stairs up. I agreed but followed up with "Going down's alright though..." I didn't mean it like that, but it kinda came across like I did and had hit her with a cheese-tastic sleazeball chat-up line. My face went red and there was an awkward silence after that.

Hollywood..!