The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[VladimirIlyich]

11 hours ago, Section_31 said:

 

I've been doing a night course and all the women are around my age give or take, and it's depressing as fuck.

 

When i was a youngster the calibre of booh-yah hotties on a college course was top drawer, now it's like being surrounded by melted Wellington boots.

A course of Bisexual women sounds great.

[Stouffer]

Spent 2 minutes on a bouncy castle yesterday and now my thighs ache and my right knee is fucked.

[RJ Fan club]

4 hours ago, Stouffer said:

Spent 2 minutes on a bouncy castle yesterday and now my thighs ache and my right knee is fucked.

I attempted some “pace” bowling at a pre season net nearly 4 weeks ago. Has flared the knee arthritis up, still not right early a month later.

 

I’ll not be doing that again 

[Clem H Fandango]

Sad news. a friend of mine from my days of living in cheltenham literally dropped dead at 47. I don't think it was the jazz festivals fault and he died in his brothers arms.

[Harry's Lad]

3 minutes ago, Clem H Fandango said:

Sad news. a friend of mine from my days of living in cheltenham literally dropped dead at 47. I don't think it was the jazz festivals fault and he died in his brothers arms.

That is sad. 47 is no age. I feel for his brother for what must between a terrible experience.

 

[YorkshireRed]

12 minutes ago, Clem H Fandango said:

Sad news. a friend of mine from my days of living in cheltenham literally dropped dead at 47. I don't think it was the jazz festivals fault and he died in his brothers arms.

 
That’s a shocker. Awful news.

[Clem H Fandango]

Thanks guys. its really hard to comprehend but then i've had quite a few friends die lately so i'm no stranger to this kind of news.

[Tj hooker]

On 06/05/2024 at 17:14, Bjornebye said:

Just been very nearly caught short on Walkers playing fields. Thought I might have had to go in the bush. Walked the dog up there felt fine, next thing my stomach abruptly informed me that I’ve not got long until my pipes gonna burst and I’m gonna full on shit everywhere. Had to ring my bird to come and pick us up. Jesus christ other than food poisoning in Egypt I’ve never felt like that, that bad anyway. Sweating like fuck. 

Anyway, I’ve made it to the bog. 
 

How’s your bank holiday Monday?

Occupational hazard when I was driving around North Wales and surrounding areas we always kept an emergency pack of toilet rolls and wet wipes tucked discreetly out of sight for those times when we were miles from civilisation,  an empty  green tote we delivered the stock in doubled up as the Rees Mogg 2.0 Armitage Shanks portable shit Station 

Fuck knows how it got that name but it was very apt. 

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Tj hooker said:

Occupational hazard when I was driving around North Wales and surrounding areas we always kept an emergency pack of toilet rolls and wet wipes tucked discreetly out of sight for those times when we were miles from civilisation,  an empty  green tote we delivered the stock in doubled up as the Rees Mogg 2.0 Armitage Shanks portable shit Station 

Fuck knows how it got that name but it was very apt. 

Hahahaha

[Spy Bee]

On 06/05/2024 at 17:14, Bjornebye said:

Just been very nearly caught short on Walkers playing fields. Thought I might have had to go in the bush. Walked the dog up there felt fine, next thing my stomach abruptly informed me that I’ve not got long until my pipes gonna burst and I’m gonna full on shit everywhere. Had to ring my bird to come and pick us up. Jesus christ other than food poisoning in Egypt I’ve never felt like that, that bad anyway. Sweating like fuck. 

Anyway, I’ve made it to the bog. 
 

How’s your bank holiday Monday?

IBS definitely made me feel behave in a bit more of a mature and considered manner.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Spy Bee said:

IBS definitely made me feel behave in a bit more of a mature and considered manner.

Not sure I’ve got that mate but if it happens again I know to stand still and call for help 

[Spy Bee]

5 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Not sure I’ve got that mate but if it happens again I know to stand still and call for help 

Currently having hypnotherapy for mine, having exhausted pretty much all other avenues. I really want it to work (obviously), so I am trying hard to lean into it, but I really feel like bursting out laughing and telling the daft cunt to reign it in!

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Spy Bee said:

Currently having hypnotherapy for mine, having exhausted pretty much all other avenues. I really want it to work (obviously), so I am trying hard to lean into it, but I really feel like bursting out laughing and telling the daft cunt to reign it in!

Haha. Good luck. Don’t shit his chair 

[Champ]

16 hours ago, Clem H Fandango said:

Sad news. a friend of mine from my days of living in cheltenham literally dropped dead at 47. I don't think it was the jazz festivals fault and he died in his brothers arms.

Awful news! 47. His poor brother

[Elite]

"Once I click my fingers, you'll feel like you've swallowed 5 packs of imodium and you're arse will feel tighter than Rick Wallers 32 inch waist jeans."

[bossy]

Reading stories about nearly shitting yourself and instead of laughing my head off or feeling revolted, I sympathise. 

[Section_31]

The next stage of our journey is shitting our kecks and not caring.

[redinblack]

When I travel for work now I'm specifying a shower instead of a bath in my hotel room, as I'm struggling to raise my right knee.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Had a Magnum double caramel at about 9 last night yue the sugar kept me awake until gone 1am

[VladimirIlyich]

On 13/05/2024 at 13:36, Spy Bee said:

Currently having hypnotherapy for mine, having exhausted pretty much all other avenues. I really want it to work (obviously), so I am trying hard to lean into it, but I really feel like bursting out laughing and telling the daft cunt to reign it in!

Has the hypnotherapy helped at all?

[Spy Bee]

6 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Has the hypnotherapy helped at all?

I'm 3 out of 5 sessions in, but yes it's starting to make a difference.

 

The clinical evidence for it is significant and it's currently on the NHS pathway, but they don't have hardly any hypnotherapists that they can refer you too.

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Spy Bee said:

I'm 3 out of 5 sessions in, but yes it's starting to make a difference.

 

The clinical evidence for it is significant and it's currently on the NHS pathway, but they don't have hardly any hypnotherapists that they can refer you too.

I have been offered it but I just can't ever imagine it helping me. I'm very much at the severe end of the problem too. 

[stringvest]

On 13/05/2024 at 16:28, Section_31 said:

The next stage of our journey is shitting our kecks and not caring.

Come in, the water’s lovely

[littletedwest]

They've canonised someone born after me

[Bob]

I phone the council on my drive home from work yesterday to report potholes.