The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Bjornebye]

I feel like I’m constantly picking my nose. 

[Jairzinho]

6 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I feel like I’m constantly picking my nose. 

 

Or trimming hair from it.

[tokyojoe]

I was on a river cruise in Holland last week. There were a few early starts and general buggering about with coaches. The coach journey coming back started at 3am (UK time) and I didn't get through our front door till about 6.00 pm.

 

When I was younger I wouldn't have batted an eyelid and gone straight into routine.

 

Now it fees like jet lag and I can barely stay awake. Probably take about a week to readjust.

 

[VladimirIlyich]

My youngest child was 33 yesterday. Where did those years go?

[Captain Willard]

10 hours ago, RJ Fan club said:

When I’m driving on the commute I’ve ditched all other radio stations now, and I’m only ever listening to Radio 4.

 

I’m done 

I’m the same. Thought for the day has become one of my favourite parts of the day 

[Bjornebye]

Just been very nearly caught short on Walkers playing fields. Thought I might have had to go in the bush. Walked the dog up there felt fine, next thing my stomach abruptly informed me that I’ve not got long until my pipes gonna burst and I’m gonna full on shit everywhere. Had to ring my bird to come and pick us up. Jesus christ other than food poisoning in Egypt I’ve never felt like that, that bad anyway. Sweating like fuck. 

Anyway, I’ve made it to the bog. 
 

How’s your bank holiday Monday?

[Babb'sBurstNad]

39 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Just been very nearly caught short on Walkers playing fields. Thought I might have had to go in the bush. Walked the dog up there felt fine, next thing my stomach abruptly informed me that I’ve not got long until my pipes gonna burst and I’m gonna full on shit everywhere. Had to ring my bird to come and pick us up. Jesus christ other than food poisoning in Egypt I’ve never felt like that, that bad anyway. Sweating like fuck. 

Anyway, I’ve made it to the bog. 
 

How’s your bank holiday Monday?

 

Happens to everyone at some point mate. I nipped into a bush, shat in a dog poo bag and buried it. Walked away feeling weirdly proud.

[Bjornebye]

10 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

 

Happens to everyone at some point mate. I nipped into a bush, shat in a dog poo bag and buried it. Walked away feeling weirdly proud.

If she hadn’t answered that was exactly what I was gonna have to do. Then throw it over the rallah at some cunt on a bike 

[Creator Supreme]

Been to Glasgow with the missus for the weekend, did a fair amount of walking.

 

Today my calf muscles still feel like they've got a steak knife stuck in each of them and every step is torture.

 

I'm sure I used to walk further than that without any effects.

[Section_31]

Many of our group of mates' texts are now about health.

[Kevin D]

Forced myself to stay up for the boxing on Saturday and getting increasingly worried about my gas tank for the 8pm Scotland games next month.

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Just been very nearly caught short on Walkers playing fields. Thought I might have had to go in the bush. Walked the dog up there felt fine, next thing my stomach abruptly informed me that I’ve not got long until my pipes gonna burst and I’m gonna full on shit everywhere. Had to ring my bird to come and pick us up. Jesus christ other than food poisoning in Egypt I’ve never felt like that, that bad anyway. Sweating like fuck. 

Anyway, I’ve made it to the bog. 
 

How’s your bank holiday Monday?

I had this at my gym a couple of weeks ago. I've got bad IBS but tablets can usually keep it at bay during the day. I was in the gym and I got that gurgling feeling and cramps but took a tablet and its usually fine. Not this time. Into the bogs and had a big sloppy one that almost wouldnt flush. Anyway,I thought I'd go home,which is only about 5 minutes away just in case. I got outside the gym door and it kicked off again and I wasnt going back into the gym. Got in the car and was almost shitting myself. I drove home without my arse cheeks touching the seat and my feet on the pedals! A hell of a feat. Halfway I almost pulled over but clenched for all its worth and just made it. I had a shit so big that I'm sure I saw a Christmas dinner I had when I was about ten years old. I didnt shit properly for about two days as there was absolutely nothing solid in my system. I didnt even feel off colour or anything either. Really fuckin weird the way our bodies fuck us over sometimes.

[Bjornebye]

8 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I had this at my gym a couple of weeks ago. I've got bad IBS but tablets can usually keep it at bay during the day. I was in the gym and I got that gurgling feeling and cramps but took a tablet and its usually fine. Not this time. Into the bogs and had a big sloppy one that almost wouldnt flush. Anyway,I thought I'd go home,which is only about 5 minutes away just in case. I got outside the gym door and it kicked off again and I wasnt going back into the gym. Got in the car and was almost shitting myself. I drove home without my arse cheeks touching the seat and my feet on the pedals! A hell of a feat. Halfway I almost pulled over but clenched for all its worth and just made it. I had a shit so big that I'm sure I saw a Christmas dinner I had when I was about ten years old. I didnt shit properly for about two days as there was absolutely nothing solid in my system. I didnt even feel off colour or anything either. Really fuckin weird the way our bodies fuck us over sometimes.

Yeah and they choose the most awkward times. Why not when I’m sat on the couch so I can waddle into the bathroom and not have to make a big song and dance over it. Instead now we’ve got the weirdo who was stood still in the park begging his dog not to make him run after him and the gyms phantom shitter has been exposed. 

[VladimirIlyich]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Yeah and they choose the most awkward times. Why not when I’m sat on the couch so I can waddle into the bathroom and not have to make a big song and dance over it. Instead now we’ve got the weirdo who was stood still in the park begging his dog not to make him run after him and the gyms phantom shitter has been exposed. 

Haha! 

Now I completely understand those weird fellas who use bicycle clips.

[chrisbonnie]

On 30/04/2024 at 07:30, tokyojoe said:

I was on a river cruise in Holland last week. There were a few early starts and general buggering about with coaches. The coach journey coming back started at 3am (UK time) and I didn't get through our front door till about 6.00 pm.

 

When I was younger I wouldn't have batted an eyelid and gone straight into routine.

 

Now it fees like jet lag and I can barely stay awake. Probably take about a week to readjust.

 

Out of curiosity, what was the cruise like? 

[tokyojoe]

26 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

Out of curiosity, what was the cruise like? 

Not bad. Bit rushed mind. Too little time to see much of Amsterdam and Rotterdam but I've done both previously. We did manage a walk around Arnhem. Pissed down with rain though.

[chrisbonnie]

45 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

Not bad. Bit rushed mind. Too little time to see much of Amsterdam and Rotterdam but I've done both previously. We did manage a walk around Arnhem. Pissed down with rain though.

I've seen ads on the telly for viking cruises, and I always think they look really interesting. But I'm 42 so look about 30 years too young for it...... 

[tokyojoe]

40 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

I've seen ads on the telly for viking cruises, and I always think they look really interesting. But I'm 42 so look about 30 years too young for it...... 

Probably right on the age bit. Three main topics of conversation:

• what other cruises they've been on
• their ailments
• their house, kids house etc etc.

This was Leger Holidays. Saw a few Viking boats while we were there.

[John102]

Dont know if it's just in my head, but since I turned 40 I'm always feeling unwell. Nothing major, just sneezing here, headaches there, heart burn on another day, hernia playing up the following day.

 

Would love to wake up like my 16 year old self every now and again.

[sir roger]

Extremely fit lady in her 40's, wearing tight gym pants and a bra top, walking her dog through Ormskirk, and I'm taking more notice of the antics of the dog.

[tokyojoe]

5 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Extremely fit lady in her 40's, wearing tight gym pants and a bra top, walking her dog through Ormskirk, and I'm taking more notice of the antics of the dog.

Oh dear.

[John102]

6 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Extremely fit lady in her 40's, wearing tight gym pants and a bra top, walking her dog through Ormskirk, and I'm taking more notice of the antics of the dog.

If this thread is indicative of anything hang around, as you may see her shitting in a bush shortly.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

6 minutes ago, John102 said:

If this thread is indicative of anything hang around, as you may see her shitting in a bush shortly.

 

[Section_31]

32 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Extremely fit lady in her 40's, wearing tight gym pants and a bra top, walking her dog through Ormskirk, and I'm taking more notice of the antics of the dog.

 

I've been doing a night course and all the women are around my age give or take, and it's depressing as fuck.

 

When i was a youngster the calibre of booh-yah hotties on a college course was top drawer, now it's like being surrounded by melted Wellington boots.

[VladimirIlyich]

11 hours ago, Section_31 said:

 

I've been doing a night course and all the women are around my age give or take, and it's depressing as fuck.

 

When i was a youngster the calibre of booh-yah hotties on a college course was top drawer, now it's like being surrounded by melted Wellington boots.

A course of Bisexual women sounds great.