Rate the last film you watched...

[Elite]

LOTR: FOTR - 7/10

 

I can see why people love it but I found it to be a chore getting through the excessive run time. I'm in no hurry to watch the others. That said, it's obviously a good movie just not my cup of tea.

[Mudface]

2 hours ago, Elite said:

LOTR: FOTR - 7/10

 

I can see why people love it but I found it to be a chore getting through the excessive run time. I'm in no hurry to watch the others. That said, it's obviously a good movie just not my cup of tea.

The first one's a bit slow, and the Moria set piece is good but is absolutely dwarfed by Helm's Deep in the second and the Rohirrim (sp?) charge and the Minas Tirith siege in the final one. It might be best to think of it as a 12 part TV series with massive peaks.

[Elite]

5 minutes ago, Mudface said:

The first one's a bit slow, and the Moria set piece is good but is absolutely dwarfed by Helm's Deep in the second and the Rohirrim (sp?) charge and the Minas Tirith siege in the final one. It might be best to think of it as a 12 part TV series with massive peaks.

I'll get through them as I want to be able to watch the upcoming TV show, which format I generally prefer especially for long-winded adaptations.

[Mudface]

1 minute ago, Elite said:

I'll get through them as I want to be able to watch the upcoming TV show, which format I generally prefer especially for long-winded adaptations.

I'd be very surprised if the show isn't complete shite, plus it's a prequel to LOTR, so it actually might be best if you don't know the Elven characters from LOTR as they'll just get rewritten anyway.

 

The Silmarillion, which I can only think it must be based on in some loose fashion, is a collection of hardcore myths about Middle Earth pre- LOTR that was put together by Tolkien's son from his dad's unpublished notes and jottings. I found it completely unreadable, and I managed to finish LOTR which is a fucking slog at times as well.

 

It's going to be reworked into some sub-Game of Thrones 'gritty' fantasy bollocks which doesn't need the LOTR background, along with the inevitable 'diversity' quotient which really doesn't fit the source material.

[Mudface]

Fractured- 7.5/10. I liked this, nice Hitchcock/ Shutter Island vibes throughout and a devastating ending.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Loved reading The Lord of The Rings, an incredibly vivid, luscious, fluid journey. I thought the Jackson trilogy captured it (mostly) fantastically well.

 

Then came the prequel, The Hobbit trilogy. I saw each one at the pictures and what should have been another wonderful fantastic journey almost immediately turned into a cynical and tedious shameful cash in, by the end of which I was actively rooting for the orcs to rape, butcher and skin that tedious twat Thorin alive.

 

The LOTR trilogy is fantastic movie making, The Hobbit trilogy is a fucking disgrace and epitomises much of what I despise about green screen cash in franchises.

 

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the integrity of Tolkien that the forthcoming series is heartfelt and captures all the magic of the former, swerving the cynicism of the latter.

 

LOTR trilogy 8.5/10

The Hobbit trilogy 1.5/10

[Mudface]

1 minute ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the integrity of Tolkien that the forthcoming series us heartfelt and captures all the magic of the former, swerving the cynicism of the latter.

Oh man. It's going to be utterly fucking horrible, isn't it? There were no shades of grey in his universe, it was good against evil all the way. 

[Bjornebye]

The Two Towers is outstanding. Lord of the Rings same as a lot of epic books needs 50 hours to cover what you read. 

 

I re-watched the recent Papillon film the other day and its nothing like the book. The book itself could fill 50 hours. The imagination will always overcome the visual. It's like when I eventually shag Margot Robbie half way through I'll be thinking about smoked bacon. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

4 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

The Two Towers is outstanding. Lord of the Rings same as a lot of epic books needs 50 hours to cover what you read. 

 

I re-watched the recent Papillon film the other day and its nothing like the book. The book itself could fill 50 hours. The imagination will always overcome the visual. It's like when I eventually shag Margot Robbie half way through I'll be thinking about smoked bacon. 

Hang on, they've remade Papillon?

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Hang on, they've remade Papillon?

Yeah. Jax Teller from Green Street. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Yeah. Jax Teller from Green Street. 

OMFG

 

And you've watched this monstrosity? Watched it more than once?!

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

OMFG

 

And you've watched this monstrosity? Watched it more than once?!

Wouldn't you if halfway through Margot Robbie shagged you and you got to eat a smoky bacon sandwich?

[VladimirIlyich]

8 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Hang on, they've remade Papillon?

Oh my god! They cannot leave anything alone can they? 

[Bobby Hundreds]

I was recommended the fear Street trilogy on Netflix. You know one of those films where you want everyone to die including the director. It was one of those. Felt like an insanely long boring teen horror written by a primary school student after watching scream but preferring the monster squad. I give it 3 victims out of 10.

 

Oh and I know they put the protagonists as being gay these days  to show equality which is fine but they're still not woke enough for it to be anything more than two women scissoring, how about a guy and another guy getting all smoochy or a guy and a sex op who identifies as a treble dildoing unibear from pansexuality planet. There was absolutely no need for sexy time after being chased by witch zombie murderers and you had a tiny breather to formulate and play out a plan, a plan which was the dumbest shit I've seen. There's 3 of these films. I'm demoting it to 2 victims. An homage to horror teen scream flicks before or not it missed the mark and frankly stole my time 

[Carvalho Diablo]

57 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Oh my god! They cannot leave anything alone can they? 

It pisses me off Vlad. Fair do's, if a great book has been made into a shit film, then yeh, go ahead and reshoot it, but in what demented parallel universe did some goon think McQueen and Hoffman were shite, let's get Jax fucking Teller in to make a better version?!!

 

Money grabbing shithouse cunts. I haven't watched it nor will I.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Total Recall! The original Arnie film is a classic, why remake the fucker?

 

Haven't watched it, won't watch it, nothing against Colin Farrell but I've heard it's dogshit. Hopefully it bankrupt the producers.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. The Gene Wilder original is a classic, capturing all the dark twisted magic of the book.

 

Johnny Depp and Christopher Lee, chuck in some nightmarish dentistry angle as a bizarre subplot and twist Wonka as a raging Michael Jackson paedo, wtf were these producers thinking?

 

Tim Burton, you've had a nightmare here son.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Psycho - yeh, let's remake it cos the original was old and shit and that Hitchcock fella was old and fat and cos the new one will be, like, colour innit?

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

It pisses me off Vlad. Fair do's, if a great book has been made into a shit film, then yeh, go ahead and reshoot it, but in what demented parallel universe did some goon think McQueen and Hoffman were shite, let's get Jax fucking Teller in to make a better version?!!

 

Money grabbing shithouse cunts. I haven't watched it nor will I.

I have no idea who that Jax fella is anyway.

[skend04]

2 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. The Gene Wilder original is a classic, capturing all the dark twisted magic of the book.

 

Johnny Depp and Christopher Lee, chuck in some nightmarish dentistry angle as a bizarre subplot and twist Wonka as a raging Michael Jackson paedo, wtf were these producers thinking?

 

Tim Burton, you've had a nightmare here son.

Roald Dahl hated the original movie. Called it crap or something similar. 

[cloggypop]

Don't watch the remake of The Taking Of Pelham 123, CD. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

52 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

Don't watch the remake of The Taking Of Pelham 123, CD. 

Is that Travolta?

[Davelfc]

1 hour ago, skend04 said:

Roald Dahl hated the original movie. Called it crap or something similar. 

He also didn't like Gene Wilder's portrayal of Wonka, Dahl had wanted either Spike Milligan or Peter Sellers to play the part instead.

[manwiththestick]

Point Break is another film that absolutely did not require a remake. Never seen the new one, I doubt I ever will.

[cloggypop]

38 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Is that Travolta?

Him, Denzel, Galdolfini, Turturro. Still not a patch on the original.