Worst job you have ever done

[Liverpool lad]

I'll start with agency work and besides the job insecurity you often get a loads of shit jobs. My favourite being a three day placement as Gaskell's were my task was to call customers and ask them if they were happy with their collection times

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

Agency "admin" work.

 

Got a placement at an office in town, turned up smart,pants, shirt and tie etc. Introduction with my manager, then sent to where I was working. Loads of blokes in jeans and t-shirts.

 

The job was in a filing room, destroying old files, then you'd get the odd phone call from their other offices in town for stationary requests, which involved putting loads of boxes of paper, files etc on a hand trailer and carting them from one side of town to the other and back.

 

I left after 5 hours.

[stringvest]

Rounding up mongs on a Saturday.

[Mook]

Easy one this, working for the Bank of Scotland for 5 years in a back office payments team, everywhere you turned there was a Thatcher-esque middle aged witch ready to destroy your day, they took my £2K bonus off me one year for sending the odd e-mail to my mate about what time we were going for lunch. Everyone else was sending them but the Grotbags in charge hated me because I had scruffy hair & refused to tow the party line.

 

One of the best days of my life getting out of that shithole.

[Nomad]

Worked as a Kitchen Porter in a resturant down allerton for about a year, stunk of grease all night horrible.

[Bjornebye]

My first job stacking video tape boxes into a machine somewhere on the east lancs road at 16. It was only to pay for my scooter. I was waiting to join the navy so took it. Left after two weeks and started a welding course at college.

[Rocky Sullivan]

Litter picking and cleaning the car parks at Runcorn Shopping City in the late nineties. You'd start in the morning by removing smackhead shit from the stairwells and then see if you could beat the previous days record of Gregg's bags collected. 

[stringvest]

Litter picking and cleaning the car parks at Runcorn Shopping City in the late nineties. You'd start in the morning by removing smackhead shit from the stairwells and then see if you could beat the previous days record of Gregg's bags collected. 

 

That produce from Greggs is just too tasty to wait until you get home.  

[Hand Shandy]

Rounding up mongs on a Saturday.

Harsh on your kids...

[Hand Shandy]

Litter picking and cleaning the car parks at Runcorn Shopping City in the late nineties. You'd start in the morning by removing smackhead shit from the stairwells and then see if you could beat the previous days record of Gregg's bags collected.

Community service isn't a job.

[melons]

Nursing home, in good quality homes it's a great environment to work in, in shit homes where all the owners are after is profit, all you want to do is scream. 

 

GF style highlight. 

 

The buzzer was going off for an old dears room non stop, thinking it was an emergency we legged to down there to find not only was she using the call button for masturbating, but she'd shit herself too. Given the nature of her actions, as you can imagine, it was everywhere. I still feel sick at the memory. 

[Chairman Meow]

Loading up wagons with 3 piece suites. All day long lifting them into the trailers, I think I lost about 3 stone in a month but I was just wrecked constantly.

 

Closely followed by the production line at Nissan. Very much like Bridge Over The River Kwai but without the uplifting bits. 

[Furmedge]

Agency work in Australia;

 

1.  My cousin was a manager at an employment agency so she'd call me when they were short to ask me to help her out.  I used to knock back all kinds of shit and then one morning at 4.30am she calls me and says she needs someone to start somewhere at 7am.  It's working with a camera crew so I'd probably like it.  Nice one I thought, I'll be following a camera crew, or better still getting my mug on telly and use it to pull birds at every opportunity.  I put on my best gear and headed to the pick up point about 30 miles away.  7.30am and I'm just about to give up hope and then out of nowhere a big tanker pulls up.  Turns out I'm cleaning sewers, having to power wash them and then send a camera down to make sure there was no cracks in the pipework.  Nice one.  So I throws the pipe down and turns on the jet wash and once it kicks in all these spiders and cockroaches come flying out all over me.  At the end of the day I get the train home and some woman sat facing me tells me I stink and moves.  She had a point.  Remember, this is Australia and it's the summer.  I never turned up for my second day.

 

2.  Restoring burnt out buildings in Sydney.  Had to power wash all the burnt parts of the building to see what the damage was.  It was a film set of a sci-fi programme so there was glitter everywhere.  Met the lad I was going to work with by accident.  He was hiding in the bushes outside the building smoking a bong, off his tits and he shouted to me telling me not to arrest him.  Was convinced I knew everyone in England and kept asking me if I knew Alan.  Had to climb up a cherry picker with him and he swung it round constantly in his hazy state.  I got the shits on the third day, didn't come in on my fourth day, sacked on my fifth.

 

3.  Stacking DVD players, again in Sydney.  Managed to last a week on this one, then on the second week got my mate a job who told the foreman to fuck off within two minutes of meeting him and he sacked us both on the spot.

[dickie mint]

When I was kid got a start in a factory on nights stuck it 3 nights and spewed it,how the fuck anyone one works nights I'll never know.

[Champ]

Picking spuds in the rain was a bit grim but so awful it was actually quite funny.

 

My worst actual job was when I did childminding for a little while when my daughter was young. The hardest job for the least amount of pay ever. Fact

[Scott_M]

Working as a cashier in Yorkshire Bank.

[RJ Fan club]

Pleasureland or Southport Fair as everyone else calls it. Worked there the summer of 97, and a few weeks of summer of 98. I worked in the catering dept, mostly without contact with the public.

 

Jibbed it off as the manager was a proper bullying fucking bell whiff. I nearly sparked him out a few times.

 

The units were fucking filthy and the food totally piss poor. The fridges always knackered consequently the hygiene was not top notch. If the food was a gamble, the rides would have been the ultimate risk taking venture.

 

To boot it was a cunt of a company to work for. Loads of Fanny though.

[mattyq]

I once worked in a lasagne factory on the production line spraying white goo onto the lasagne

Another one was on the American air force base at Burtonwood destroying chemical warfare munitions. The job involved carrying the big heavy fuck off chemical shells to a machine which would cut them to pieces and store the nasty shit found inside the bombs. Unfortunately the machine leaked and sprayed the nasty shite all over the place and some got on my lovely new Berghaus. It was like a scene from Alien when some of the blood got sprayed all over the place dissolving everything in site. My coat basically disintegrated

Fuck knows how they managed to get away with it but it was in the 80s when Health & Safety was but a quaint notion

[Rico1304]

Making floor tiles at a place called Quilligoti's, the ones you'd see in a supermarket. It involved a rack of newly manufactured tiles being fed into a grinder which polished them. So, bending down, picking up a heavy tile and placing it on a conveyor belt. For 8 hours. I wanted to kill myself after 5 minutes. The only up side was forearms like Popeye.

[Sheeks]

Amazon.co.uk customer service S-H-I-T Shithole

[Red Dawn]

Worked as an accountant in a small steel fabrication company ..highlights included :

 

1. Seeing the boss/owner getting beaten up by an irate supplier in the office in front of all the staff

2. Being sent out to small builders to chase up money owed (at least 2 instances of threats to my life, chased out of yards at least 3 times)

3. A gay and/or extremely camp general manager..

4. Having virtually no money in the company account to pay wages each week and having to bullshit the staff about "banking & I.T. problems" to explain delays..they all hated me

5. Got sacked for failing to turn in on a Tuesday after he gave us the monday off as a reward, only to be re-instated and then sacked again when I told him I was leaving anyway a week later

 

best 4 months of my working life

[Captain Turdseye]

Jacob's Crackers in Aintree when I was about 19. Left after two hours of the second day and haven't eaten crackers since.

[Sugar Ape]

I worked in Runcorn. Lasted exactly two days. The job doesn't even matter, it was the Runcorn bit that did me in.

[Mook]

Worked as an accountant in a small steel fabrication company ..highlights included :

 

1. Seeing the boss/owner getting beaten up by an irate supplier in the office in front of all the staff

2. Being sent out to small builders to chase up money owed (at least 2 instances of threats to my life, chased out of yards at least 3 times)

3. A gay and/or extremely camp general manager..

4. Having virtually no money in the company account to pay wages each week and having to bullshit the staff about "banking & I.T. problems" to explain delays..they all hated me

5. Got sacked for failing to turn in on a Tuesday after he gave us the monday off as a reward, only to be re-instated and then sacked again when I told him I was leaving anyway a week later

 

best 4 months of my working life

 

No.1 reminds me of a job I had in a Sports Shop when I was at college, one of the bosses who was suspended came in & kicked the living shit out of the higher up boss, in the shop, when it was open, in front of everybody.

 

Never seen anything like it before or since.

 

Btw, no-one jumped in because he was 100% correct in booting the shit out of the twat.

[Bjornebye]

MattyQ (sorry can't quote for some reason) what was the name of the lasagne factory ? Was it near warrington? A mate of mine worked there years ago doing something like that.