little things that annoy the shit out of you

[cloggypop]

Sadly I don't have the luxury of spending time fucking around with a cafetiere at work, nor the time required to clean one out every time I want a fresh brew. I pretty much live on Lavazza espresso at home despite my modest means, some things you just don't compromise on.

I have been in the Netherlands too long to be able to drink either instant coffee or shit lager. I use something like this for quick coffee

 

http://www.tesco.com/direct/coffee-filter-cone/336-3640.prd

[lifetime fan]

Tea trolley is the answer, at my place we nab the trolley they use for sandwiches during the day and chuck cups, tea, coffee, sugar and milk plus a hot water dispenser and people can make their own next to their desk.

How do I fuck over the fatties giving them full fat milk if they can do it themselves?

[Liverpool lad]

Nothing worse than a tea round Tory. Not making them in return

[Bobby Hundreds]

The thing with sky and another one of the reasons I've fucked it off is it's pure shit. You pay for installation then you pay a monthly bill, then you have to pay more for movie channels and sports channels and other fucking packages they decided to seperate and flog individually because we are all mongs and Murdoch knows this. Then even when you have opted for more packages they seperate those still so you pay for a premier or a boxing match or rent a film. what a fucking scam it is. I hope some kind of nano warriors infiltrate the entire system and rocket punch it into orbit alongside Murdoch and his family.

[Harry Squatter]

When you do someone a favour and help them out and they don't even bother acknowledging you for putting yourself out.

 

Someone I used to work with named me as a referee as she was forced to apply for her own job again. She Asked if she could name me and I agreed no problem, her current employer contacted me and I filled in the form and have given her a detailed reference which made her sound great. Sent it back the same day, no messing about. I then e-mailed her and messaged her on Facebook saying I've sent the reference back and hope that its enough to get her employed on another 2 year contract. Yet two days later I haven't even had a thank you from her or fuck all. She's been on Facebook in the last hour or so yet hasn't acknowledged my message.

 

Now I'm not expecting her to come round to my house and give me a blowjob but a simple thank you would have been nice.

[RoboRiise]

When you do someone a favour and help them out and they don't even bother acknowledging you for putting yourself out.

 

Someone I used to work with named me as a referee as she was forced to apply for her own job again. She Asked if she could name me and I agreed no problem, her current employer contacted me and I filled in the form and have given her a detailed reference which made her sound great. Sent it back the same day, no messing about. I then e-mailed her and messaged her on Facebook saying I've sent the reference back and hope that its enough to get her employed on another 2 year contract. Yet two days later I haven't even had a thank you from her or fuck all. She's been on Facebook in the last hour or so yet hasn't acknowledged my message.

 

Now I'm not expecting her to come round to my house and give me a blowjob but a simple thank you would have been nice.

 

Well if she doesn't get it you know what to do next time:

 

"Susan worked for me for just under two years.  Although I was left with no option but to release her from her contract when the petty cash irregularities came to light, I do have a great deal of respect for the way she faced her heroin addiction and alcoholism and she is currently paying the money back at a rate of £5 per month from her most recent job.  Considering the low pay and occupational hazards of escort work, I don't think I could reasonably expect her to do more."

[Liverpool lad]

I have already mentioned people who start things without fully thinking them through and how they wind me up.

 

This is only topped by the people who tell you all about it and then get a twat on when you ask them about it.  Not in a funny or nosey way, but more making conversation. It is not my fault you have decided to take on a life changing task and haven't thought about it any more than sticking it on Facebook.

 

I tell you what else fucks me off, when people just have a cob on and are just looking to spread this misery to to others.  These are people who have other problems in their lives and are always narky but by God are they on a mission to make sure others feel that misery. Bird scuffed your car parking it? Make sure you act the cunt all day. Skint? Make sure you act the cunt all day.

 

Also people who ask you what you doing at the weekend and as soon as you utter what you are doing or where you are going they cannot wait to say 'wouldn't be arsed doing that', 'don't fancy that'.

 

In summary, it is miserable people that annoy me. This negativity drags me down.

[Liverpool lad]

People who work in customer service type roles who take great fucking delight in delivering bad news to people.

 

I bought gig tickets last year and come the day of the gig I had realised that the ticket had not arrived.  On the day I thought I would just pop down with the confirmation email and some photo ID in order to arrange a duplicate. Done this at many a sporting ground and thought it would be that simple. Admittedly I shouldn't have left it so late, but things sneak up on you.

 

Go to the ticket office nice and early to explain the situation to the fella there and he was almost orgasmic telling me that I had to contact Ticketmaster direct and he knew full well they were closed and the gig would be over the time I got in touch. It would have been the next day.

As I was politely asking him if there was a work around, he just kept repeating himself with a stupid stare and a smirk. Wasn't worth losing my rag and it was only the city centre of Liverpool so I wasn't a million miles from home. That fella was fucking loving it though.  Sad fucking cunt

[Liverpool lad]

People who look down at you if you are not one of them. I am not talking about people with money but rather people with niche interests.

One of Mrs LLs friends into heavy metal or 'goth shit' and thinks that anyone who doesn't like that stuff is somehow not as good as him. People bang into console gamers also fall into this bracket. Fella on my Facebook refers to him by his Gaming Tag and exhibits these traits too.  Can't get my head around it

 

Also people who try things for a short time and talk as though they are veterans of the scene.  Been to one festival, why not bore the shit out of colleagues, family and friends by talking about the next year of festivals and how the one in whatever country takes your fancy but you are also tempted by another.

 

People who deliberately mislead you into making you believe their role or skill set is far more advanced than it really is.

 

People who talk about their job as though it is rocket science and you couldn't possibly do it as it so mentally tasking.  This is most annoying when their job is a piece of piss, you used to work there and decided that you couldn't be fucked with it any more. A new employee at my old company spoke to me as though I was simple.

 

People who take their work dead seriously and are almost brainwashed into the company values, with no appreciation of anyone else in the industry. I used to work for one student accommodation provider and then moved to another.  Lets call them Company A and B.  At Company A I had many friends who fucking loved the place and I often joked that if you cut them they would bleed the colour of the company logo.  A year after I left A and moved to B, we had an awards evening and my new company cleaned up, won a handful of the awards and were deemed the best in the city.  Most of the awards were directly attributed to the hard work of the small team I was in dealing with the sales and lettings of the properties for not a lot of money.  I thought it was great, few pints, meal and a bit of recognition for the hard work, but the crowning glory was seeing the pure hurt of my former colleague who had even bought a new blouse for the occasion.

 

I think I have shared this one before, but always makes me smile.

[matt1983]

Trying to get a coathanger out of a carrier bag full of coathangers.

[General Dryness]

Idiots like the Sgt I mentioned got a crap cuppa and decided to swerve me making it, the others that wouldn't fall for that got a tasty little extra added to their brew. 

 

Messing with someones brew Dave, flirting with the unforgiveable there.

 

I'm starting to wonder what other atrocities you might be guilty of.

[Dr Nowt]

Trying to get a coathanger out of a carrier bag full of coathangers.

 

Repped not just for the post, but for the comedy of it following a proper vent session from Mark above it.

[Remmie]

Suspect my place might be a bit bigger than yours mate, we have 1200 staff in my building and one wing of the place is well over 200ft long, completely open plan. We have a sandwich trolley service that comes round, it takes her over an hour to do the whole building and her trolley goes with her.

My place is also massive but there are only about 4-7 of us during the night so we can pilfer the tea trolley. Admittedly I'd be in the same boat if I was working days

[Remmie]

How do I fuck over the fatties giving them full fat milk if they can do it themselves?

Swap the full fat blue bottle caps with the semi skimmed green caps

[Liverpool lad]

Remember all those dieters I told you about. 2 days of going the gym midweek is rewarded with a night on the ale and a KFC as a hangover cure. Oh and Friday was a cheat day

[matt1983]

Slamming the seatbelt buckle in the car door.

[Furmedge]

Being sick on the weekend.  Not just any weekend, the weekend the wife and kids were going down south to visit her family and I had the house to myself.

 

The plan

Friday - Watch a couple of films, Birdman and American Sniper

Saturday - Sleep in, go for a cooked breakfast, watch a certain sporting event in the pub, hit town with the brother until around 6am Sunday.

Sunday - Sleep in, go for a cooked breakfast with a curer, go home and wait patiently for the family whilst playing on the PS4.

 

Reality

Friday - Feel like boiled shite, threw up around 1am and was shaking freezing.

Saturday - Pissed out of my arse all morning and then had it coming out of both ends, dipped in and out of consciousness on the couch.  Fell asleep at half time of the sporting event, went to bed at 7.30pm, vomited all night.

Sunday - Similar vein to Saturday apart from being shouted at by the wife because the house was a tip.

 

Sigh.

[PestiRed]

Being surprised this morning with "I'm working from home today too, won't that be great?"

 

And then being disturbed every five minutes as I'm expected to take the place of the colleagues that she chats to all day. Working from home does include actual working - a concept she can't get her head round

 

I may spend the afternoon working from a cafe instead

[Dr Nowt]

Being surprised this morning with "I'm working from home today too, won't that be great?"

 

And then being disturbed every five minutes as I'm expected to take the place of the colleagues that she chats to all day. Working from home does include actual working - a concept she can't get her head round

 

I may spend the afternoon working from a cafe instead

 

This.  Far, far too much of this.

[Rico1304]

Shitty new office blocks that are thrown up in a matter of months and then move and creak the minute the wind gets above 10 miles an hour. They look nice, have lovely windows but I'd rather not risk getting the roof blown off or ending up flying through the air like Wizard of Oz. It never happened in our monstrous 1960's office block!

 

Oh, and whilst I'm on the toilets are too high. I like to have both feet firmly planted when I'm having a shit,

Not on tiptoes.

[Bjornebye]

"ooohh someone just walked over my grave" followed by a shudder

 

No they didn't you cunt but I tell you what, it will happen a lot fucking sooner if you don't stop cunting.

[Chairman Meow]

Shitty new office blocks that are thrown up in a matter of months and then move and creak the minute the wind gets above 10 miles an hour. They look nice, have lovely windows but I'd rather not risk getting the roof blown off or ending up flying through the air like Wizard of Oz. It never happened in our monstrous 1960's office block!

 

Oh, and whilst I'm on the toilets are too high. I like to have both feet firmly planted when I'm having a shit,

Not on tiptoes.

 

No just the asbestosis to worry about instead. Happy times before Health and Safety went mad. 

[Bjornebye]

I find it funny as fuck that they didn't factor the sun in when they built that walkie-talkie building in central London. The suns rays were reflecting off the bent glass and burning cars and shit below. They have to put a fucking net up in the summer. Stupid money wasting creative cunts.

[Mook]

I find it funny as fuck that they didn't factor the sun in when they built that walkie-talkie building in central London. The suns rays were reflecting off the bent glass and burning cars and shit below. They have to put a fucking net up in the summer. Stupid money wasting creative cunts.

 

10/4 rubber ducky.

[Liverpool lad]

Part Time Diet Team are all over my Facebook now, after a weekend of drinking and eating shite after Friday being a cheat day and Monday just being Monday, they are back on it, presume that they spent yesterday just buying healthy stuff.

 

We live in a era where you don't actually have to do anything, just be seen to do it and you will be fine. Care passionately about a cause, just 'like' it on Facebook or retweet it. Trying to lose weight, just make a bit of noise about it. It is fucking odd