Depression

[moof]

Try not to think too much, mate. Easier said that done, I know. Just try to remain present in the moment, and keep breathing. They are just thoughts. You can choose not to be consumed by them. Think of each negative thought as a balloon and allow it to drift away. Repeat the mantra “clear the mind” and don’t become engulfed.

 

Meditation helps, as does yoga. The brain is like a muscle, it needs care and attention to remain fit.

[Anny Road]

I just got completely overwhelmed. I’ve gone from a very strong, level headed, clear on my emotions guy to not being able to cope with my head overnight.

 

I’m in a restaurant today and nothing, all ok.

 

I certainly feel like I want a drink just to take the edge off things but I know that it won’t help so I’m ok. I’m 3 months Sober next Sunday!

Got some great advice today about drinking which may be applicable to you in your situation.

AA and other programs preach abstinence. You cannot drink. You will die. You will fail. You will lose everything. You are powerless in this fight.

 

Ive always struggled with that idea. It should be my decision to stop. Not some higher power.

 

This guy gave me another perspective. I can drink anytime I want. If i have a pint no-one will die. If I can control it. If I can't don't drink.

True freedom comes from not wanting to do it. Not having to go to support groups 3 times a week under pain of iminent failure.

Maybe you feel forced. Trapped. Coerced.

[Nunavut Patrick]

During the last six months when I was married my ex-wife had two anxiety attacks like FG described. One was in a grocery store on a busy Saturday which is enough to set anyone off, she became clammy and hyperventilating and threw up....the staff wanted to call an ambulance.

 

Second one was on the last holiday we took; she had an episode at Amsterdam Centraal. No vomiting but the ofher symptoms were there. This was aboot two and a half years ago and looking back I think it was an reaction to being unhappy and trapped in a bad marriage amoung other things she was dealaing with, other life long issues.

 

Not saying you're in a bad marriage but maritial problems manifest like no other problem because you're dealing with the most unpredictable, unstable and unreasonable creatures known to the living world.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Got some great advice today about drinking which may be applicable to you in your situation.

AA and other programs preach abstinence. You cannot drink. You will die. You will fail. You will lose everything. You are powerless in this fight.

Ive always struggled with that idea. It should be my decision to stop. Not some higher power.

This guy gave me another perspective. I can drink anytime I want. If i have a pint no-one will die. If I can control it. If I can't don't drink.

True freedom comes from not wanting to do it. Not having to go to support groups 3 times a week under pain of iminent failure.

Maybe you feel forced. Trapped. Coerced.

I forget who said this-

 

I didn't drink yesterday, haven't had a drink today and don't plan on having one, and tomorrow I hope not too.

[lifetime fan]

Fucking difference a bit of sun makes!

[Tony Moanero]

Fucking difference a bit of sun makes!

Negged, obviously.

 

Just checked the temperature, 21 degrees Celsius, in April! Fuming.

[lifetime fan]

Negged, obviously.

 

Just checked the temperature, 21 degrees Celsius, in April! Fuming.

 

 

I love how you celebrate being so wrong Tone.

 

Repped.

[Tony Moanero]

How long to the clocks go back?

[Elite]

How long to the clocks go back?

You can change them anytime you want mate, fuck the system.

[Bjornebye]

Fucking difference a bit of sun makes!

To you? I bet you look like you've been tangoed

[Mook]

Do birds look nicer in the sunshine or do the hot ones just come out when it's sunny?

 

Or do they just lose some clothes?

 

Maybe it's all three but what a fucking difference at this time of year, thousands of swamp donkeys are swiftly replaced with leggy bastards with nice arses.

[rubble-rouser]

Do birds look nicer in the sunshine or do the hot ones just come out when it's sunny?

 

Or do they just lose some clothes?

 

Maybe it's all three but what a fucking difference at this time of year, thousands of swamp donkeys are swiftly replaced with leggy bastards with nice arses.

 

Are you bringing your boss to London?

[Ezekiel 25:17]

If you're fat or ugly, or both,you shouldn't even be allowed out between the hours of 8 and 8, and it's as simple as that.

[Mook]

Are you bringing your boss to London?

 

Thankfully not.

 

I do pretty much everything I can to avoid any away trips with her. London is particularly bad as she has certain DLR/Tube stops that she won't use because there are too many black people there (I'm not joking).

[Bob]

A question for those that have suffered from depression, if I may?

 

How do you know if you’re depressed? Would it normally take someone noticing you being different or can you identify it in yourself?

 

I’m going through the ringer at the moment Witt the redundancy thing, and can’t stop myself from thinking about all the negative thoughts and what ifs, selling the house etc.

 

I’ve suffered very lightly and for a short period (days) what I think was depression in the past (never diagnosed) when I was at uni, under a lot of stress with exam resits and had moved back into our house a week earlier than everyone else, and it got better when others arrived and I got out of my bubble, but this feels different.

 

At the moment I cry any and every time I think about the worst possible outcomes AND the impact they’d have on my daughter, though if I just think about those outcomes wothout thinking about her I feel numb/nothing rather than upset.

 

No matter how many people tell me it’ll be hard for a while but ultimately for the best, that I’ll easily get a new job, etc I can’t think positively, yet.

 

Depending on who I speak with about it, I can reach a point of thinking fuck em, I’m better off out, but the sense of dread remains clear as Day.

 

Loads of people go through redundancy and many of you here will have, and they generally survive, and I know I will, but any advice would be welcome.

 

Not having anyone at home isn’t helping, but to be fair my ex is being supportive and talking to me a lot, as are my parents.

 

Fucking hell.

[ZonkoVille77]

In your case it seems your negativity is wholly due to your redundancy. It's clearly become an obsession now to the point where you are not really thinking straight at all. That can be a sign of oncoming depression in many people. But ask yourself this.. if you got another job you were happy with immediately, do you think you'd still be feeling this way? My guess is you wouldn't be and that your mood would be back to normal. So in your case I would say you're more than likely just feeling the strain of the redundancy situation rather than full blown depression.

[Fowler1972]

A question for those that have suffered from depression, if I may?

 

How do you know if you’re depressed? Would it normally take someone noticing you being different or can you identify it in yourself?

 

I’m going through the ringer at the moment Witt the redundancy thing, and can’t stop myself from thinking about all the negative thoughts and what ifs, selling the house etc.

 

I’ve suffered very lightly and for a short period (days) what I think was depression in the past (never diagnosed) when I was at uni, under a lot of stress with exam resits and had moved back into our house a week earlier than everyone else, and it got better when others arrived and I got out of my bubble, but this feels different.

 

At the moment I cry any and every time I think about the worst possible outcomes AND the impact they’d have on my daughter, though if I just think about those outcomes wothout thinking about her I feel numb/nothing rather than upset.

 

No matter how many people tell me it’ll be hard for a while but ultimately for the best, that I’ll easily get a new job, etc I can’t think positively, yet.

 

Depending on who I speak with about it, I can reach a point of thinking fuck em, I’m better off out, but the sense of dread remains clear as Day.

 

Loads of people go through redundancy and many of you here will have, and they generally survive, and I know I will, but any advice would be welcome.

 

Not having anyone at home isn’t helping, but to be fair my ex is being supportive and talking to me a lot, as are my parents.

 

Fucking hell.

There are various online tests that can give you some idea. Look at proper organisations though. You can only be properly diagnosed by a doctor. I recommend you make an appointment as some of the things you say indicate you could well have some form of depression.

 

My biggest mistake/regret is not going to the doctors earlier. I’d feared he would say there was nothing wrong with me but he was extremely supportive

 

You need a support network as well, so good that you can talk to your ex and parents.

 

I know I pretend to be a prick on the other threads but I’m not really (not all the time anyway). Happy to talk through my own experience in more detail if it helps.

[Bob]

In your case it seems your negativity is wholly due to your redundancy. It's clearly become an obsession now to the point where you are not really thinking straight at all. That can be a sign of oncoming depression in many people. But ask yourself this.. if you got another job you were happy with immediately, do you think you'd still be feeling this way? My guess is you wouldn't be and that your mood would be back to normal. So in your case I would say you're more than likely just feeling the strain of the redundancy situation rather than full blown depression.

Thanks pal. I think if I got something I was happy about immediately I’d still have worries about finances and practicalities because I don’t expect to get something on the same pay, and it was a bit tough making everything work anyway at times, but you’re right I’d feel far less anxious about it all.

 

I’m trying to compare how I feel now to how I felt in the aftermath of my separation, which I know is just daft. This is a job, not a marriage, this shouldn’t mean as much to me so of course I shouldn’t feel as upset about it.

 

The biggest problem I’m facing now is apathy and procrastination which I know are default settings for me when I’m at my very upper stress limits, and I can’t afford right now.

[Bob]

There are various online tests that can give you some idea. Look at proper organisations though. You can only be properly diagnosed by a doctor. I recommend you make an appointment as some of the things you say indicate you could well have some form of depression.

 

My biggest mistake/regret is not going to the doctors earlier. I’d feared he would say there was nothing wrong with me but he was extremely supportive

 

You need a support network as well, so good that you can talk to your ex and parents.

 

I know I pretend to be a prick on the other threads but I’m not really (not all the time anyway). Happy to talk through my own experience in more detail if it helps.

To be totally truthful Phill, I wish you hadn’t been such a prick on th other threads as given where you are I’d have thought a pint and a chat through would be helpful, but given your last couple of days I couldn’t be more put off the idea, which is a shame.

 

Still thanks for the comments though. I’ll take them at face value.

[Dave D]

Thanks pal. I think if I got something I was happy about immediately I’d still have worries about finances and practicalities because I don’t expect to get something on the same pay, and it was a bit tough making everything work anyway at times, but you’re right I’d feel far less anxious about it all.

 

I’m trying to compare how I feel now to how I felt in the aftermath of my separation, which I know is just daft. This is a job, not a marriage, this shouldn’t mean as much to me so of course I shouldn’t feel as upset about it.

 

The biggest problem I’m facing now is apathy and procrastination which I know are default settings for me when I’m at my very upper stress limits, and I can’t afford right now.

 

 

Try this book mate- have seen first hand what a difference it can make to someones mindset

 

 

[Bob]

Try this book mate- have seen first hand what a difference it can make to someones mindset

 

I’m terrific and buying books and shite at reading them (maybe a negative thought I should let go of!!) but I’ll check it out. Thanks pal.

[ZonkoVille77]

The biggest problem I’m facing now is apathy and procrastination which I know are default settings for me when I’m at my very upper stress limits, and I can’t afford right now.

 

You've outlined your worst enemies, there. It's easy to fall back to the default mode of not pushing harder to make things better. It's definitely a struggle to try hard though when you're stressed off your mind. You'll be no use to yourself or anyone else if you let it get on top of you, or sit on your hands doing fuck all about it. Think of the bigger picture.

 

It honestly might sound a bit cheesy, but think of a 5 year plan type scenario. It gives you something to work towards instead of sitting in the moment, a moment that's not too great for you. Stay positive and start with achievable goals.

 

Might not necessarily work for you, but look at how bad things could be, there are always those worse off than you. That point of view pulled me through my previous bouts.

 

Oh and it's brilliant that you've felt comfortable opening up about it. It's not something to keep bottled up.

[Fowler1972]

To be totally truthful Phill, I wish you hadn’t been such a prick on th other threads as given where you are I’d have thought a pint and a chat through would be helpful, but given your last couple of days I couldn’t be more put off the idea, which is a shame.

 

Still thanks for the comments though. I’ll take them at face value.

Fair enough. If you change your mind I’ll be happy to meet and listen.

 

The other stuff is just me with too much time on my hands but, I get it, I wouldn’t meet me either.

 

And I still think you should see a doctor...

[lifetime fan]

Fair enough. If you change your mind I’ll be happy to meet and listen.

 

The other stuff is just me with too much time on my hands but, I get it, I wouldn’t meet me either.

 

And I still think you should see a doctor...

 

 

Most sensible thing you've ever said on here.

[Bob]

I almost certainly won’t. But I’m sure you’re right.