Stories from School Days gone by...

[WaltonRed]

This is the thread for those 'urban myth' type stories which you heard in school.

 

The one everyone knows is the kid and his bird, they do anal on the white leather couch for the 1st time, she shits everywhere, they blame the dog, dog gets put down.

 

In our school there was a story going round that a man in the vale would give you whatever you wanted to pop your bum cherry and that one kid took him up on the offer, he got about £100 worth of weed and a brand new bike.

[Duncan Clench]

It wasn't a brand new bike, but I did enjoy riding it once I could sit down again.

[elBooth]

some lad stuck his dick thru the hole in a cd and it got stuck...

 

kids are fuckin braindead...

[Guest The Chimp]

This is actually a true story. A lad in our wood-work class was always on to all the girls about how big his cock was. As a result of this, one of the girls started calling his bluff and asking him to get it out and show her and her mates. This went on for a few weeks until one day she decides to up the ante, goes over to him and starts trying to undo his zip, at which stage he either simply fell off the chair and knocked himself out, or as legend would have it, he just actually fainted. I was laughing that hard at the time, I still don't know which one it was.

[WaltonRed]

There was a lad in our school who said he had a lash and the school bike said come on then show me, he got it out round the corner from everyone and we all heard her gasp.

 

He started rattling her during school hours in the rectory shortly after.

[Flying Pig]

An ex girlfriend of mine (from school) laughed at the size of my penis. She later mysteriously vanished and was cut into pieces and sold to a greek restaurant on Renshaw Street.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Some lad in our school, Maghull High, was in one of the sience labs swinging on one of those old wooden high stools they have, he fell backwards legs apart and the stool fell down and the seat bit landed bang on his bollocks, he passed out was taken away in an ambulance and didn't come back til the next term. He was then bullied so much he changed school

 

True story

[Flying Pig]

Some lad in our school, Maghull High, was in one of the sience labs swinging on one of those old wooden high stools they have, he fell backwards legs apart and the stool fell down and the seat bit landed bang on his bollocks, he passed out was taken away in an ambulance and didn't come back til the next term. He was then bullied so much he changed sex.

True story

 

 

Thats a better ending. No need for thanks.

[Liverpool lad]

And there is always the one about a lad who fingered a bird and stuck it up her arse by accident, and the girl never said nothing about it as she didn't want to upset him. This must be universal

[sh#t waffle]

My mate turned up for one of his GCSEs with an entirely purpley red chin. It turned out that he'd had a glass of water, and breathed in so the glass stuck to his chin. Unfortunately he created a bit too successful a vacuum. The mark lasted about ten days. Not that spectacular a story, but one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

 

Some people at a school down the road from me apparently thought their PE teacher was something of a freak, so they planted a load of bulbs at one end of the cricket pitch spelling out 'Mr (insert name here) is a Paedophile'.

[Guest Francie Brady]

Teacher in my primary school (Dont no what that is over there) just happened to be a christian monk and loved giving out bon bons taught us in 6th class. My mate who is as dumb as a plank got student of the year to our amazement.

 

The monk called Br seamus is now serving time in Portlaoise prison for touching kids

 

Explains all now

my mate does get some stick the ginger cunt

[She Knows It]

My mate turned up for one of his GCSEs with an entirely purpley red chin. It turned out that he'd had a glass of water, and breathed in so the glass stuck to his chin. Unfortunately he created a bit too successful a vacuum. The mark lasted about ten days. Not that spectacular a story, but one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

 

Some people at a school down the road from me apparently thought their PE teacher was something of a freak, so they planted a load of bulbs at one end of the cricket pitch spelling out 'Mr (insert name here) is a Paedophile'.

 

My son did the exact same thing a few months ago, the little spaz.

[Nick Leeson]

John Ball shagged a cat for a fiver. True story that, even if he does deny it

[philyhamann]

My mate turned up for one of his GCSEs with an entirely purpley red chin. It turned out that he'd had a glass of water, and breathed in so the glass stuck to his chin. Unfortunately he created a bit too successful a vacuum. The mark lasted about ten days. Not that spectacular a story, but one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

 

Some people at a school down the road from me apparently thought their PE teacher was something of a freak, so they planted a load of bulbs at one end of the cricket pitch spelling out 'Mr (insert name here) is a Paedophile'.

 

I did that with a bottle of coke, but it was on my cheek.

[JangoSolo]

There was a story about this one girl at our school that had given this lad a "blow" job and put him in hospital after misunderstanding the term blow.. it is quite confusing if you think about it

[RobbieOR]

A fella in my class let some bird finger him up the arse. He admitted it aswell.

[She Knows It]

A fella in my class let some bird finger him up the arse. He admitted it aswell.

 

A fella? Was it the teacher or does Billy Madison go to your school?

[Hand Shandy]

Didn't happen at my school, but a friend from a nearby school was running round the edge of a swimming pool and slipped on the edge. Obviously fell, but somehow managed to fall half in and half out of the pool.

 

Most members of the male species will currently be wincing anyway, but it gets worse - not only did he really REALLY smack his bollocks on the edge of the pool, he managed to split his ball sack as well.

 

Cue much bleeding, much screaming, and quite a few stitches to repair the damage.

 

He proceeded to get much shit for the rest of his school days. In fact, it didn't really stop until he managed to father a child...

[RobbieOR]

A fella? Was it the teacher or does Billy Madison go to your school?

 

Yep a fella, she was meant to give him a wank she fingered him up the arse.

[Guest Francie Brady]

Yep a fella, she was meant to give him a wank she fingered him up the arse.

 

 

Hold on how did that happen, that a fairly big mistake to make like.

[RobbieOR]

Hold on how did that happen, that a fairly big mistake to make like.

 

I dunno how it happened. He was forced to admit it though. It's fucking funny though, people drawing arses with fingers up them on desks in the school.

[Carradona]

Yep a fella, she was meant to give him a wank she fingered him up the arse.

 

How the fuck do you confuse the two?

 

Does this girl lick windows for a living?

[Carradona]

I dunno how it happened. He was forced to admit it though. It's fucking funny though, people drawing arses with fingers up them on desks in the school.

 

Was it you?

[RobbieOR]

Was it you?

 

You wish it was me Cain.

[Carradona]

Yea, I wish you got fingered up the arse. Really.....