General Anxiety Disorder

[Kopite]

I think I have it, how the fuck does one control it without drugs cos I ain't going to go down that route.

 

What's this St John's Wort all about?

 

:(

 

Prozac and Citalopram Rash. God (Allah) truly invented these pharmaceutical wonders.

[Rashid]

Col that shit is fucked up, no chance.

[Rashid]

I need to rule out the 0.1% but above all I need help in stopping to worry about this level of percentage!

[Elmyn Noos]

The key to that is "If it were me." Egocentrism is believing that one is the centre of everything, that the world feels like they do, thinks like they do, the egocentric stuggles to separate themselves from others, that other people have different ways of thinking. There is no one way of coping because we are all different, only the egocentric would expect somebody "to just fucking get on with it."

 

As for Noos, I won't enter into discussion with him because he doesn't want discussion, he wants to take the piss, he gets some weird satisfaction from getting people worked up. I'm not prepared to feed the troll. However, should he wish to discuss the masses of scientific, psychological research then I might consider that but as he has zero people skills, I doubt he has ever found such material remotely appetising i.e. he knows fuck all about the mind, except from his egocentric viewpoint.

 

Dirk, I am more than prepared to enter into discussion about this sort of thing provided you, in all your educated wisdom, can come up with something a little more tangible than me trying to reach out to my inner self, or show some empathy, or start to feel the pain of others through either the text of your books or the moisturising of your skin. You can quote research and stats at me til the cows come home, but you couldn't be more wrong in saying that I have zero people skills. In my line of work alone, people skills are vital, and I can demonstrate on many levels how I have put that knowledge into practice, both in a personal and professional capacity. I will happily throw back the gauntlet to you, but be advised that I'm pretty confident that my age, and life/work experience will outweigh what you've experienced and read by some considerable margin.

 

Egocentricity is earned not given.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

I have had similar sort of issues myself, except I only realized a few months ago.

 

It was about 5 months ago when I had not long split up with my long term girlfriend and had began to lose my way a little. Then I started to analyze what had I had done in my life. Girlfriends, family arguments, job decisions, people I had fallen out with, people I yearned for that had shown me nothing since the last time I had seen them. I started to realize I had a form of mental state issues. Now some people said I was over reacting, being a hypochondriac. This just brought me down even further because I started to doubt myself, and I began to not want to go out the door, not even have my mates round. I just wanted to get so stoned so I could numb the pain. I could have sorted myself out straight away like I normally had but this time I couldn't. I decided to confront my own beliefs on my decision's at the time IO made them. Most where pretty well made decisions. The main issue I couldn't deal with was, losing my girlfriend. The night we split she told me to 'Speak to somebody' for which my initial reaction was I don't need to speak to nobody I am fine. But I wasn't.

 

My Mum and Dad divorced when I was 3. I remember it vividly. The arguments, my Dad packing his bags and placing a picture of Father Christmas and Me, on top of his things and then closing his case and crying his eyes as he kissed me on the head. Then it was my Mum reluctantly taking me with her to the solicitors to sort out the divorce. Some of my Mum's family slagging dad off. I even got taught how to call him a Dickhead. This was the foundation to my 26 years of personal torment. As the years went by I was a devil child, Mum said I had really bad behavioral problems, I was a Jekyll & Hyde. I then hit my teens and changed but used to rebel a lot, had to deal with watching my mates go home every night to see their Mum and Dad, as where it was just me and our kid with me Mum. I used to see my Dad every other two weeks. I was bullied at school because my Mum couldn't afford to pay the milkman (no puns here please dudes), being on the social, having to wear Knicks trainees for the first few years of junior school, when all the other kids had Adidas and puma trainees. Not big things to some people to me they where big and really personal. The older I got the less about the good times I remembered. I was clouded in negativity, except I hid this by being positive to everybody else about their problems. I fucked up my education, my early employment opportunities where poor. Crazy relationships, meeting a 26 year old woman with 6 month old twins and letting her destroy my self confidence. Basically I was a battered 'Pretend Husband'. Other girls I met where exactly the same. I thought I could change them. Then I eventually met my current missus.

 

She is 6 years younger than me and has the family life I always wanted a home that wasn't broken. For the first 4 years we where great, then we moved in together and it started to go wrong, we talked about kids and I always use to say yes, and marriage too. Except I didn't want it (or so I thought) and in the end it my girlfriend couldn't understand why I had suddenly changed my mind, so told her I didn't want it to turn out like my Mum and Dad. That was the straw that broke the Camels back, I became selfish and what I feel was the beginning of a breakdown. Except I couldn't show it, because I didn't think it could happen to me. I just used the same old phrase I had used since I was 3 'Just get on with it'. That had been my problem. By getting on with it I had actually caused me to so many times think what if?. For years a way for me to deal with my 'issues' was to think about the worst things that could possibly be wrong with me. I thought I could have heart problems every time I got a pain in my chest. Liver and Kidney problems for every morning after an overkill on the ale and tablets from Friday nights in town. If somebody hadn't called me for a while or had not called me to let me know they had got home ok, I thought they had died on the way home.

 

So me and my girlfriend had met up again and we had a real open chat about the stage we where in our lives. I had began to realize the time we had been apart, I had needed to talk to somebody. I needed her help to push me to so it. I needed a reason. So I went and spoke to my manger in work. I am a coach and I use a life coaching module, and I had full trust in my manger so I asked he r to coach me to identify what was causing me to think the way I am. Basically to find what made me who I am. It all come down my Mum and Dad splitting up. The image if my Dad's suitcase being shut with my photograph in it, was the day my life as I knew it, went with it. It had been taken from me and I couldn't do nothing about it. I had realized I had used that moment to define what I convinced myself I would not put myself in that position. I have watched my Dad live in regret that he had to put me and our kid through that, even though he knows it was right for him and for my Mum, he can't deal with it. My relationship with my Dad had never been great as it should have been. This mostly down to my own personal blame. My Dad's guilt always disrupted things too. I realized I need closure on the whole thing. Enough was enough, I couldn't take it anymore. So I decided to spend a day with my Dad playing golf. The best day out I have had in 29 years. We talked about his life and what had happened to me.And the basted beat me in matchplay. It's only now what he is going through in his life at the moment, he asks me for advice on his current life. Through doing all this I had found my cure.

 

Rash as I said initially I would have to told you to get on with it, however after my recent seeking of help, and it working. I suggest go do the same mate. It may be you have something from the past that has created this current state of mind that you are experiencing. It is at the end of the day a state of mind, whether it can cured with drugs, tests or just plainly speaking to somebody, then do it. You will seek the solace you require.

 

I need to stop smoking this shit man.

 

Now it's not what some people may think a mental illness, however the event of my parents divorce seriously affected the way I looked at things, and my overall mental stability.

[Elmyn Noos]

I have had similar sort of issues myself, except I only realized a few months ago.

 

It was about 5 months ago when I had not long split up with my long term girlfriend and had began to lose my way a little. Then I started to analyze what had I had done in my life. Girlfriends, family arguments, job decisions, people I had fallen out with, people I yearned for that had shown me nothing since the last time I had seen them. I started to realize I had a form of mental state issues. Now some people said I was over reacting, being a hypochondriac. This just brought me down even further because I started to doubt myself, and I began to not want to go out the door, not even have my mates round. I just wanted to get so stoned so I could numb the pain. I could have sorted myself out straight away like I normally had but this time I couldn't. I decided to confront my own beliefs on my decision's at the time IO made them. Most where pretty well made decisions. The main issue I couldn't deal with was, losing my girlfriend. The night we split she told me to 'Speak to somebody' for which my initial reaction was I don't need to speak to nobody I am fine. But I wasn't.

 

My Mum and Dad divorced when I was 3. I remember it vividly. The arguments, my Dad packing his bags and placing a picture of Father Christmas and Me, on top of his things and then closing his case and crying his eyes as he kissed me on the head. Then it was my Mum reluctantly taking me with her to the solicitors to sort out the divorce. Some of my Mum's family slagging dad off. I even got taught how to call him a Dickhead. This was the foundation to my 26 years of personal torment. As the years went by I was a devil child, Mum said I had really bad behavioral problems, I was a Jekyll & Hyde. I then hit my teens and changed but used to rebel a lot, had to deal with watching my mates go home every night to see their Mum and Dad, as where it was just me and our kid with me Mum. I used to see my Dad every other two weeks. I was bullied at school because my Mum couldn't afford to pay the milkman (no puns here please dudes), being on the social, having to wear Knicks trainees for the first few years of junior school, when all the other kids had Adidas and puma trainees. Not big things to some people to me they where big and really personal. The older I got the less about the good times I remembered. I was clouded in negativity, except I hid this by being positive to everybody else about their problems. I fucked up my education, my early employment opportunities where poor. Crazy relationships, meeting a 26 year old woman with 6 month old twins and letting her destroy my self confidence. Basically I was a battered 'Pretend Husband'. Other girls I met where exactly the same. I thought I could change them. Then I eventually met my current missus.

 

She is 6 years younger than me and has the family life I always wanted a home that wasn't broken. For the first 4 years we where great, then we moved in together and it started to go wrong, we talked about kids and I always use to say yes, and marriage too. Except I didn't want it (or so I thought) and in the end it my girlfriend couldn't understand why I had suddenly changed my mind, so told her I didn't want it to turn out like my Mum and Dad. That was the straw that broke the Camels back, I became selfish and what I feel was the beginning of a breakdown. Except I couldn't show it, because I didn't think it could happen to me. I just used the same old phrase I had used since I was 3 'Just get on with it'. That had been my problem. By getting on with it I had actually caused me to so many times think what if?. For years a way for me to deal with my 'issues' was to think about the worst things that could possibly be wrong with me. I thought I could have heart problems every time I got a pain in my chest. Liver and Kidney problems for every morning after an overkill on the ale and tablets from Friday nights in town. If somebody hadn't called me for a while or had not called me to let me know they had got home ok, I thought they had died on the way home.

 

So me and my girlfriend had met up again and we had a real open chat about the stage we where in our lives. I had began to realize the time we had been apart, I had needed to talk to somebody. I needed her help to push me to so it. I needed a reason. So I went and spoke to my manger in work. I am a coach and I use a life coaching module, and I had full trust in my manger so I asked he r to coach me to identify what was causing me to think the way I am. Basically to find what made me who I am. It all come down my Mum and Dad splitting up. The image if my Dad's suitcase being shut with my photograph in it, was the day my life as I knew it, went with it. It had been taken from me and I couldn't do nothing about it. I had realized I had used that moment to define what I convinced myself I would not put myself in that position. I have watched my Dad live in regret that he had to put me and our kid through that, even though he knows it was right for him and for my Mum, he can't deal with it. My relationship with my Dad had never been great as it should have been. This mostly down to my own personal blame. My Dad's guilt always disrupted things too. I realized I need closure on the whole thing. Enough was enough, I couldn't take it anymore. So I decided to spend a day with my Dad playing golf. The best day out I have had in 29 years. We talked about his life and what had happened to me.And the basted beat me in matchplay. It's only now what he is going through in his life at the moment, he asks me for advice on his current life. Through doing all this I had found my cure.

 

Rash as I said initially I would have to told you to get on with it, however after my recent seeking of help, and it working. I suggest go do the same mate. It may be you have something from the past that has created this current state of mind that you are experiencing. It is at the end of the day a state of mind, whether it can cured with drugs, tests or just plainly speaking to somebody, then do it. You will seek the solace you require.

 

I need to stop smoking this shit man.

 

Now it's not what some people may think a mental illness, however the event of my parents divorce seriously affected the way I looked at things, and my overall mental stability.

 

No offence, but I skim-read that and got bored some short way in. I got mum dad mum dad mum dad.

 

I'm guessing your mum and dad split, and you took it like every kid takes their mum and dad splitting? Do you now blame them for everything and have a Disorder?

 

Edit: Got to the end and it's a happy ever after story.

[Rashid]

Things effect people differently so stop being a sarcastic git.

 

Thanks for posting that mate. You're right, I think our thoughts could well made up from previous experiences.

 

I don't know why I always feel vulnerable but I do. I can and will "just get on with it", I don't take days off sick nor do I expect sympathy. I just want to get better physically and mentally so I am not wasting my life being on edge.

[sh#t waffle]

I'm going through a very similar thing right now. I have been going through an extremely shit time at work recently, which at one point got pretty nasty. It seems to have just stripped me of all confidence. I'm not even getting on with colleagues that I used to get on with, and the thought of banter fills me with dread, to the point that I have a panic attack whereby I overheat massively, go bright red and just sweat buckets. Which is, of course, exceptionally embarrassing and therefore a vicious cycle. I started on St John's Wort (incidentally RiS, I'm sure I read that women on the pill shouldn't use it. Not that I know whether Mrs RiS is on the pill or not, you understand) which helped a tiny bit, but not enough. Last week the doctor gave me beta blockers. He felt (and so did I) that just having them on me may prevent the anxiety attacks, but in truth I have just been taking them as soon as I see any trouble ahead. My boss, nice as he is, is a very old school, ex-RAF guy, who I can tell is wondering 'what on earth he has to be stressed about'. Oh, and Rash, I have also had a thing over the last few years where I have felt physical symptoms of a problem, only to be told there is absolutely nothing wrong.

Reading back through this post it would appear that I may be mental.

[7dalglish]

:wallbutt: take note kids, years of head butting brick walls is not cool or clever.

 

I hope you find peace Rashid

[Dirk]

Dirk, I am more than prepared to enter into discussion about this sort of thing provided you, in all your educated wisdom, can come up with something a little more tangible than me trying to reach out to my inner self, or show some empathy, or start to feel the pain of others through either the text of your books or the moisturising of your skin. You can quote research and stats at me til the cows come home, but you couldn't be more wrong in saying that I have zero people skills. In my line of work alone, people skills are vital, and I can demonstrate on many levels how I have put that knowledge into practice, both in a personal and professional capacity. I will happily throw back the gauntlet to you, but be advised that I'm pretty confident that my age, and life/work experience will outweigh what you've experienced and read by some considerable margin.

Egocentricity is earned not given.

 

Nah, mate, you are wrong, I've been through some very heavy, heavy shit in my life which I am not prepared to discuss on here, I might be 28 to your 48 but, believe me, I'd experienced more by 20 than most people do in a life time.

 

Is having people skills the same as being able to manipulate, charm and schmooze people in order to make money from them? I doubt it.

[She Knows It]

Rashid, I don't think further tests would be helpful. It's feeding the obsession. If every bowel investigation known to medicine proved your good health, you'd shift your focus somewhere else. Next time you had a headache it would be a brain tumour, for example.

 

What you need to remember is that there's no quick fix. You didn't wake up one morning and suddenly think you were terminally ill. You won't get better overnight either. You can use medication as an aid, but don't think of it a cure. You need to identify and change your thought patterns.

[Rashid]

Rashid, I don't think further tests would be helpful. It's feeding the obsession. If every bowel investigation known to medicine proved your good health, you'd shift your focus somewhere else. Next time you had a headache it would be a brain tumour, for example.

 

What you need to remember is that there's no quick fix. You didn't wake up one morning and suddenly think you were terminally ill. You won't get better overnight either. You can use medication as an aid, but don't think of it a cure. You need to identify and change your thought patterns.

 

She Knows It - I know exactly what you mean and to be honest if I do the tests and all is OK (God Willing) and I still get the symptoms where will I shift the focus onto next? One surgeon has already said I have nothing wrong with me and that the problems will go away in time and if they don't he will do a minor op to clear up any infection. But No, I went and got a 2nd and 3rd opinion where doctors are exasperated enough to just do a Colonoscopy.

 

Unsurprisingly, this has made me more nervous about "what if anything serious is wrong"?

 

It just sucks.

 

The pathetic thing about it all is I don't suffer low self esteem, I am pretty cocky and confident with everything in life - except the things I can't control - that's when the problems begin. I am also the most impatient guy in the world and always in a rush so my lifestyle is not healthy at all.

 

You touched on something really interesting about "feeding the obsession", you're right thats exactly what I do and am doing. I just don't know how to stop it.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

No offence, but I skim-read that and got bored some short way in. I got mum dad mum dad mum dad.

 

I'm guessing your mum and dad split, and you took it like every kid takes their mum and dad splitting? Do you now blame them for everything and have a Disorder?

 

Edit: Got to the end and it's a happy ever after story.

 

None taken mate, I don't blame them for everything anymore, it was demon and I was looking at it from a different point of view and also that was a skimmed down version of how I wanted to explain it (believe it or not).

 

I read this thread and realated to a lot of what Rash and Kurt had been saying, not necessarily saying I had experienced the exact same levels, however I could relate and hopefully added to the arguement for Rash to go speak to somebody till he is satisfied with the outcome.

 

Edit: You mentioned your Mum and Dad dies, how old where you when this happened?

[Skidfingers McGonical]

She Knows It - I know exactly what you mean and to be honest if I do the tests and all is OK (God Willing) and I still get the symptoms where will I shift the focus onto next? One surgeon has already said I have nothing wrong with me and that the problems will go away in time and if they don't he will do a minor op to clear up any infection. But No, I went and got a 2nd and 3rd opinion where doctors are exasperated enough to just do a Colonoscopy.

 

Unsurprisingly, this has made me more nervous about "what if anything serious is wrong"?

 

It just sucks.

 

The pathetic thing about it all is I don't suffer low self esteem, I am pretty cocky and confident with everything in life - except the things I can't control - that's when the problems begin. I am also the most impatient guy in the world and always in a rush so my lifestyle is not healthy at all.

You touched on something really interesting about "feeding the obsession", you're right thats exactly what I do and am doing. I just don't know how to stop it.

 

That is where I can totally relate to you mate. except the rushing lifestyle bit, I am very laid back about my life to the observer, and I leave things till the last minute all the time and then when I have to rush whichs breeds an unhealthy lifestyle.

[Rashid]

Fuck it, I'll just have to live with it. There is no way out and running around trying to get re-assured makes matters worse.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Fuck it, I'll just have to live with it. There is no way out and running around trying to get re-assured makes matters worse.

 

 

Maybe it's not about trying to find re-assurance, it's maybe it's about finding solace in something.

[Rashid]

Maybe it's not about trying to find re-assurance, it's maybe it's about finding solace in something.

 

I have solace in God and the fact that whatever he does he does for the best however way we perceive it. It doesn't however allow me to control my natural anxiety and irrational thoughts.

[DJLJ]

I have solace in God and the fact that whatever he does he does for the best however way we perceive it. It doesn't however allow me to control my natural anxiety and irrational thoughts.

 

How does this work with your self-confessed anxiety with anything you can't control?

[Rashid]

How does this work with your self-confessed anxiety with anything you can't control?

 

I know what you mean but faith is faith, it is a belief of God and his teachings. It is not something I control but not something I want to control, it is someone I want mercy, forgiveness and guidance from.

 

What I do want to control are my thoughts and maybe a lot of my life. What I find difficult is accepting that somethings I can't control, and most bad thoughts usually don't happen anyway. God Willing of course.

[Rashid]

Maybe you can start with the little things and work your way up? Like when you're stuck in traffic, or your train's late. No point banging the steering wheel or pacing the railway platform looking at your watch. It won't change anything. So you try to think about what you'll do about being late. What excuse you'll use (if it's your fault) and whether you can call anyone to let them know you're going to be late.

 

And that is IF you'll be late, because of course many a time when we think we'll be late we just about make it by the skin of our teeth.

 

Try and be more productive with your worrying. Like when you worried you might have a disabled child: Enjoy the pregnancy with your wife, say your prayers, hope for the best. Have a think about what you'll do if your fears are realised, what modifications you'd have to make to your plans.

 

Like the problems with your guts. Say to yourself you'll leave it for 12 months, and you'll review it then. Decide what you'll do if it is exactly the same by then, what you'll do if it's worse.

 

You can't control what will happen to your unborn child, or your guts, but you can control what you'll do about it when or if the worse happens.

 

And of course talk to your wife and others about what you'd do. Listen to their views. You've got a great life now, one many others would kill for, so try to enjoy it.

 

No!!!!

 

Thats the whole problem, it's thinking about things that probably won't happen that's fucking my mind up. What you describe is what I do and that's what fucks me up.

[Dirk]

The more you try to control things the worse it will get. http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~wegner/ts.htm

[Rashid]

The more you try to control things the worse it will get. http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~wegner/ts.htm

 

Any chance you could give us "idiots guides" as opposed to University Thesis's Dave?

 

I have tracked down my problems:

 

1. Always feeling 'vulnerable'

2. Always 'fearing' the worst will happen

3. Unable to cope with 'possible' trauma and what 'might' happen

[Michael Howard]

Any chance you could give us "idiots guides" as opposed to University Thesis's Dave?

 

I have tracked down my problems:

 

1. Always feeling 'vulnerable'

2. Always 'fearing' the worst will happen

3. Unable to cope with 'possible' trauma and what 'might' happen

 

 

Live for today mate. You could be dead tomorrow.

[Rashid]

Live for today mate. You could be dead tomorrow.

 

Exactly, but it's tomorrow that I can't stop thinking about.

[Michael Howard]

I don't think this applies to Rashid but I was surprised by how many of you had had your own "cuckoo" phase but I also know from past polls that a lot of you have dabbled with drugs. You always hear about the increasing evidence of links betwen dope and mental health problems and I just wonder whether any of you believe it was connected?

 

 

And Rashid - I'd agree with the advice to stop looking for answers and explanantions to all your worries and ailments. I have seen clients who have sufferred some trivial injury yet convice themselves there is all sorts wrong with them and it is all due to some incident - eg an accident or whatever and then absolutely screw themselves up going from one medical specialist to another looking for an explanation and it takes over their lives and they end up in a compelte mess. Admittedly not particualrly helpful advice but get a fuckin grip and get on with your life for you, your wife and your child. How you do it is ultimately up to you but spending you life on internet forums, medical websites etc is not the answer.