You lying get..

[Owen]

You lying get, it was the other way round.

 

I haven't blinked since 1974.

 

You lying get; your eyes would fall out!

 

 

I enjoy making little forts out of used lever arch files.

[Paul]

You lying get; your eyes would fall out!

 

 

I enjoy making little forts out of used lever arch files.

 

You lying get - you make little thoughts, not forts.

 

I am actually better than Maradonna at football, but I didn't bother with a professional career as I didn't want to embarrass my dad - he hates football.

[sh#t waffle]

You lying get; your eyes would fall out!

 

 

I enjoy making little forts out of used lever arch files.

 

You lying get, you find it tedious but are forced to by an overbearing aunt.

In my opinion, M People are the most important band ever to come out of Manchester.

[Dirk]

You lying get, you find it tedious but are forced to by an overbearing aunt.

In my opinion, M People are the most important band ever to come out of Manchester.

 

Why lie? You told me you thought that Cleopatra were the most important Mancunian musical offering.

 

I reckon Martians are fat from eating too many Mars bars.

[Tom R]

All lies!

 

My cats breath smells like cat food.

[sh#t waffle]

All lies!

 

My cats breath smells like cat food.

 

You lying get. It smells like your avatar.

When you fax something to someone, the bit of paper they receive is the actual one that you sent.

[Stu Monty]

I backed my car into a cop car the other day, well he just drove off sometimes life's ok. I ran my mouth off a bit too much but what can I say. Then a fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam; it was worth it just to learn some slight of hand. We both got fired on exactly the same day, well we'll float on good news is on the way.

 

True story.

[declan]

I backed my car into a cop car the other day, well he just drove off sometimes life's ok. I ran my mouth off a bit too much but what can I say. Then a fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam; it was worth it just to learn some slight of hand. We both got fired on exactly the same day, well we'll float on good news is on the way.

 

True story.

 

You lying get he was a Mexican chinchilla impersonator.

 

I once defeated the King of Norway in a kebab-eating contest after i had spiked his kebabs with laxatives

[Slam Daniels]

..I was sitting in the office minding my own business when Christina Aguilera came in a and asked if I had a spare toner for a Brother HL-1450 monochrome laser printer.

 

The funny thing is is that I've got one of those monochrome babies sat next to me.

[Slam Daniels]

You lying get he was a Mexican chinchilla impersonator.

 

I once defeated the King of Norway in a kebab-eating contest after i had spiked his kebabs with laxatives

 

You lying get, they weren't kebabs they were dog turds.

 

Vodafone have offered to pay me £1.75million to use my appendage as a radio mast.

[Paul]

You lying get, they weren't kebabs they were dog turds.

 

Vodafone have offered to pay me £1.75million to use my appendage as a radio mast.

 

You lying get - it's your appendix they're after.

 

They are 27 village idiots on this thread who can't infer the rules from two simple examples at the start.

[Stouffer]

You lying get - it's your appendix they're after.

 

They are 27 village idiots on this thread who can't infer the rules from two simple examples at the start.

You lying get; they're moomins.

 

I'm employed by nasa to boot all the space shuttles into space.

[Paul]

You lying get; they're moomins.

 

I'm employed by nasa to boot all the space shuttles into space.

You lying get. You never booted them. You tickled their bellies and whispered sweet nothings in their ears until they just floated up to space on a cloud.

 

I've got 17 chocolate banjos stored in my nan's shed ready for the zombie apocalypse.

[General Dryness]

You lying get. You never booted them. You tickled their bellies and whispered sweet nothings in their ears until they just floated up to space on a cloud.

 

I've got 17 chocolate banjos stored in my nan's shed ready for the zombie apocalypse.

 

You lying get, they're ukeleles. And thats not chocolate.

 

I'm under the boardwalk, down by the sea, on a blanket with my baby, thats where you'll find me.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

You lying get, they're ukeleles. And thats not chocolate.

 

I'm under the boardwalk, down by the sea, on a blanket with my baby, thats where you'll find me.

You lying get, it's a 13-tog duvet.

 

NASA got me to design the badges for the Apollo space missions.  I've secretly encrypted clues in them as to how we faked the lot.

[alles ist gut]

You lying get, it's a 13-tog duvet.

 

NASA got me to design the badges for the Apollo space missions.  I've secretly encrypted clues in them as to how we faked the lot.

 

You lying get, it wasn't NASA, it was ASDA.

Google text me in the middle of the night to ask me questions that it doesn't know.

[Bob]

You lying get, they respect you too much to disturb your sleep and only contact you between 10am to 10pm.

 

I once walked past the topshop window display and 3 of the mannequins came to life just so they could feint due to my attractiveness

[alles ist gut]

 

I once walked past the topshop window display and 3 of the mannequins came to life just so they could feint due to my attractiveness

You lying get, they weren't mannequins fainting, they were store detectives, and they were rendered unconscious by the nasty niff from your armpits.

 

I invented 'Urban' music by reading the lines from Hallmark greetings cards with a wastepaper bin on my head, over someone elses backing track.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

You lying get.  You invented "Rural" music by playing some old Wurzels records backwards.

 

I am Nick Clegg.

[alles ist gut]

 

I am Nick Clegg.

 

You lying get, you aren't the Deputy Prime Manager, you're a Deputy Dawg impersonator.

 

I've just retired after spending 25 years as Kevin Rowlands personal tiddlywinks coach.

[FanchesterCity]

In the late 1970's I worked at a health resort where a fair few celebs would visit. I worked in the bookings department where clients would schedule their entire weekend in advance, so when they arrived, everything was already 'good to go'.

One weekend, the masseur phoned in sick, and so I was tasked with having to inform the relevant clients.

I told them all, except one.... Kate Bush. Since I knew her entire agenda at the hotel, I was able to pretend I was the real masseur and got to spend an entire hour with my hands over her body, and to this day, nobody ever found out.

[alles ist gut]

In the late 1970's [snip]

 

You lying get.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

You lying get.  You're still only cuatro veces.

 

The island of Bermuda used to be called Shittylandia.  It's tourist industry was dying on its arse until I convinced them to change it.  They asked me for a suggestion for a new name and I just looked at my shorts and... well, the rest is history.

[alles ist gut]

You lying get. You're still only cuatro veces.

 

The island of Bermuda used to be called Shittylandia. It's tourist industry was dying on its arse until I convinced them to change it. They asked me for a suggestion for a new name and I just looked at my shorts and... well, the rest is history.

You lying get, the magistrates banned you from wearing shorts in public after that incident at the infants school fair.

 

I'm behind the nefarious plot to destroy the legacy of British television comedy by broadcasting the 'hilarious' 'sitcom' 'Miranda'.

[General Dryness]

You lying get, the magistrates banned you from wearing shorts in public after that incident at the infants school fair.

 

I'm behind the nefarious plot to destroy the legacy of British television comedy by broadcasting the 'hilarious' 'sitcom' 'Miranda'.

You lying get, you ARE Miranda.

 

I put the cunt in Scunthorpe.