My 'date' on Saturday...

[Paul]

Paul is really into this now isn't he ? !

 

Its like an episode of Jerry Springer - the audience wil be chanting "YOU GO BOYFRIEND" any second as they bring in Maggie Caprice to sit in the chair next to Section 31 and the bouncers have to restrain his Mum as she attacks the bitch shouting "My son is too good for a stuck up vain bitch like you" :D

Stop standing on the sidelines and show some solidarity for a brother in need.

[navbasi]

I think you're all looking too deeply into this.... It all depends on what you want.... for example... now if Sec just wanted to shag this bird then I think he fucked up big time.. I think he realised in the first 10 minutes that this bird was not going to be "Relationship" material and once he realised that, he should have changed tact and just given her what she wanted, been a poodle of the evening, a couple of handstands and by the end of the night he would have been nailing this bitch, rather than getting pissed at his mates house...

 

Then in the morning SEC could have been the one sending the text, not the one receiving it!!

 

If he was looking for a relationship, then he's well out of it, if he was looking for a shag, then it's a missed opportunity...

 

Done it many a time... been a complete sap for a girl for the evening knowing that the masterplan had been set in motion... they were thinking... "I have this sucker exactly where I want him" but that couldn't be further from the truth... obviously, if you really like the girl, then you don't want to be a poddle for her... because that only gives amo for later on when she can say "You've Changed".....

 

Sec - I think you fucked up mate.

[Section_31]

I think you're all looking too deeply into this.... It all depends on what you want.... for example... now if Sec just wanted to shag this bird then I think he fucked up big time.. I think he realised in the first 10 minutes that this bird was not going to be "Relationship" material and once he realised that, he should have changed tact and just given her what she wanted, been a poodle of the evening, a couple of handstands and by the end of the night he would have been nailing this bitch, rather than getting pissed at his mates house...

 

Then in the morning SEC could have been the one sending the text, not the one receiving it!!

 

If he was looking for a relationship, then he's well out of it, if he was looking for a shag, then it's a missed opportunity...

 

Done it many a time... been a complete sap for a girl for the evening knowing that the masterplan had been set in motion... they were thinking... "I have this sucker exactly where I want him" but that couldn't be further from the truth... obviously, if you really like the girl, then you don't want to be a poddle for her... because that only gives amo for later on when she can say "You've Changed".....

 

Sec - I think you fucked up mate.

 

Ha ha, yeah that's fairly spot on to be honest. There was actually a point fairly early on (after she'd interupted me for the third time) when i actually felt like getting off! From that point on, I'd bailed out in my own head. Whenever she suggested we go somewhere else I was genuinely suprised that she wanted to carry things on.

[Rashid]

The biggest key to keeping women is not to get too fucking romantic or too fucking possessive. Fuck that shit... just play it cool. I know many men who have been fucked off many a time because they call too much, or text too much or when they actually date they try too hard.

 

Play it cool... if they want to talk let them talk, and only say what you NEED to... fuck me I know so many blokes who have been fucked off on the first date because they let something slip.

[Rashid]

I think you're all looking too deeply into this.... It all depends on what you want.... for example... now if Sec just wanted to shag this bird then I think he fucked up big time.. I think he realised in the first 10 minutes that this bird was not going to be "Relationship" material and once he realised that, he should have changed tact and just given her what she wanted, been a poodle of the evening, a couple of handstands and by the end of the night he would have been nailing this bitch, rather than getting pissed at his mates house...

 

Then in the morning SEC could have been the one sending the text, not the one receiving it!!

 

If he was looking for a relationship, then he's well out of it, if he was looking for a shag, then it's a missed opportunity...

 

Done it many a time... been a complete sap for a girl for the evening knowing that the masterplan had been set in motion... they were thinking... "I have this sucker exactly where I want him" but that couldn't be further from the truth... obviously, if you really like the girl, then you don't want to be a poddle for her... because that only gives amo for later on when she can say "You've Changed".....

 

Sec - I think you fucked up mate.

 

Spot on. If you want to nail a bird, just be a poddle -its only for one night. If you want to keep her, you have to have a different tact.

[Guest Will Warmer]

The only rule my woman laid down was that im not allowed to ring her if liverpool are playing and were not watching it together. I felt like gettin down on one knee from the word go.

Don't you mean 'rim her'?

[cochcaer]

The biggest key to keeping women is not to get too fucking romantic or too fucking possessive. Fuck that shit... just play it cool. I know many men who have been fucked off many a time because they call too much, or text too much or when they actually date they try too hard.

 

Play it cool... if they want to talk let them talk, and only say what you NEED to... fuck me I know so many blokes who have been fucked off on the first date because they let something slip.

 

 

*Must be read with Barry White backing music*

[Michael Howard]

Play it cool... if they want to talk let them talk, and only say what you NEED to... fuck me I know so many blokes who have been fucked off on the first date because they let something slip.

 

 

if only Rash treated the forum like his treats his women - strong and silent :D

[Guest molbyscorchio]

You need to learn to strong arm a ho. Then she will be yours and will follow you around asking for pearls of wisdom to be laid around her neck.

 

Is that the same 'pearl necklace' as I'm thinking about?

[Section_31]

*Must be read with Barry White backing music*

 

:D

[kopitegaz]

The Love God has spoken :)

[Paul]

Spot on. If you want to nail a bird, just be a poddle -its only for one night. If you want to keep her, you have to have a different tact.

Wise words from Mr. Senór Love Daddy.

[Rashid]

The Love God has spoken :)

 

Wanker. ;)

[Dirk]

Wanker. ;)

 

Literal or metaphorical?

[lifetime fan]

Some of us know how to handle a woman like that, they're not all the same everybodies different, thankfully though, most are the same.

You need to learn to strong arm a ho. Then she will be yours and will follow you around asking for pearls of wisdom to be laid around her neck.

Ask any postman and he will tell you that some dogs like to bark for the attention but they don't actually bite, they just want to be told to sit, shut the f@ck up or fetch but if the postman runs away then the dog will get worse maybe even chewing the letters up to foam and shit, which you can't have.

So you have to 'break' them kinds of creatures in a little to show them how it's gonna be, don't offer to hold an umbrella, snatch the umbrella off of her and then jump on her back and ride her home. Tear the seams of her coat when you take it off her by roughly poking the coathanger through the arm as you go to hang it up, you know, stuff like that.

Unless you want to impress her have her like you and 'be a mate' or some shit, yeah right!

 

That is some funny shit. :D

[bri]

the rashmeister has spoken. I'm not into all this pooddle bollocks. If you wanna shag a bird on a one nighter you need to be at the bar nailing a few back with em.............. thinks of the last one..............nah stay sober and be a poodle saves alot of trouble

[rargh]

 

The biggest key to keeping women is not to get too fucking romantic or too fucking possessive. Fuck that shit... just play it cool. I know many men who have been fucked off many a time because they call too much, or text too much or when they actually date they try too hard.

 

 

Yep - I've just found that out the hard way. Was all nice and romantic to my now ex, who wanted to 'take things slow' and wanted me to show that I wasn't just a dickhead who was after a quick jump, like her exes had been upto that point. Made me wait three months for our first fuck! Wasn't possessive like, she'd ring me most of the time, but once I'd served my puropse she went into hiding until she saw fit to see me again (drove me up the wall, believe me!) She's now given me the 'I don't think I'm ready for anything long term and I don't want to see you get hurt' speech and is now enjoying casual 'fun' with somebody else while we 'have a break'. If I'd have known that she was just after fun from the start I'd have jibbed Interflora off quick time!

 

She's not bad in the sack like, and I wouldn't mind a second bite of the cherry somewhere down the line, but for now she is history and I've learned the hard way to treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen.

[lifetime fan]

the rashmeister has spoken. I'm not into all this pooddle bollocks. If you wanna shag a bird on a one nighter you need to be at the bar nailing a few back with em.............. thinks of the last one..............nah stay sober and be a poodle saves alot of trouble

 

For a one nighter take them to a nice bar that doesnt serve food. Cheaper and the food will soak up the alcohol. :no

[Guest Will Warmer]

Yep - I've just found that out the hard way. Was all nice and romantic to my now ex, who wanted to 'take things slow' and wanted me to show that I wasn't just a dickhead who was after a quick jump, like her exes had been upto that point. She's now given me the 'I don't think I'm ready for anything long term and I don't want to see you get hurt' speech and is now enjoying casual 'fun' with somebody else while we 'have a break'. If I'd have known that she was just after fun from the start I'd have jibbed Interflora off quick time!

 

She's not bad in the sack like, and I wouldn't mind a second bite of the cherry somewhere down the line, but for now she is history and I've learned the hard way to treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen.

These woman say these things but they don't mean not to mean them.

For instance, she obviously picks a certain type of man who treats her the way she says she doesn't want to be treated because that's what she likes. Most women are insecure and just contradict themselves by going through cycles of the same types men who shit on them. All you need to do is find out what she didn't like about her last man and then replicate it alongside something she does like. So if she really likes chocolates but doesn't like the door being left open while you take a bum leak because her ex did it then those are the winning combination as it's a familiar behavior to her.

[rargh]

These woman say these things but they don't mean not to mean them.

For instance, she obviously picks a certain type of man who treats her the way she says she doesn't want to be treated because that's what she likes. Most women are insecure and just contradict themselves by going through cycles of the same types men who shit on them. All you need to do is find out what she didn't like about her last man and then replicate it alongside something she does like. So if she really likes chocolates but doesn't like the door being left open while you take a bum leak because her ex did it then those are the winning combination as it's a familiar behavior to her.

 

Too late now though, eh? Ah well...

[Slam Daniels]

Took this bird out on Saturday who I met through a mates bird, without doubt the fittest girl I’ve ever seen, perfect ten, other fellas jaws were dropping left right and centre which I actually found amusing!

 

On the ‘date’ she kept laying down rules about what she did and didn’t like, about how she’s never hold hands and would never kiss me in front of her mates, or answer my phone calls if she was with mates as it ‘was rude’ we went for a meal and she said she couldn’t stand it when people ate with their mouths open (which I don’t) but it pissed me off a bit as i felt like i was being given rules to adher too before i'd even sat down..

 

She kept interrupting me at the start of the date as well which was annoying, I’d start saying something and she’d literally just start talking about something else.

 

As the day went on I basically felt like going home but she kept dragging it on, ‘ohh lets go for a meal’ ‘lets go for a last drink’ We ended up having a good laugh towards the end and she asked me to text her that night, I didn’t as I’d gone straight to me mates and got pissed fairly quickly, I don't risk drunk texting these days as its got me into shit with birds in the past!

 

I did message the next day – four hours later I got one back saying ‘I don’t think there was any chemistry there, and you seemed like more of a mate, sorry best just to say’

 

Think I fucked it up a bit though, I started pissing myself when she said her dad charges her a tenner for lifts home from clubs, I also said she looked like a footballers wife and a German Pornstar (when she put her glasses on which she needed to drive)

 

Worrying thing is its not the first time I’ve been told I seem more like ‘mate’ material, even with birds who’ve actually asked me out! Think i need to rain myself in a bit next time, i treat everyone like I've known them for years which isn't always appropriate i suppose, ah well you live you learn!

 

Sounds like a dog.

 

Top tip: Never ever have a girl saying that you're more like a mate by:

 

- Touching her breasts repeatedly

- Never buying her a drink

- Telling her to walk home whilst jumping in a taxi yourself

- Keep asking her "What the fuck are you looking at?!" when she looks at you

 

I can guarantee you, she won't want you as a mate.

[Guest Will Warmer]

Too late now though, eh? Ah well...

It's never too late.

Phone her and tell her you're sitting on the toilet, laying a cable and holding a box of Milk Tray, she'll be curled up at your feet like the warm brown ones.

[Guest Will Warmer]

Fuck it anyway, I just realised, this thread must be an elaborate joke, who goes on a 'date'? What is this 'Saved by the Bell'? This is the nineties, get with it pal, if you can't keep up with the times then don't say things.

[rargh]

It's never too late.

Phone her and tell her you're sitting on the toilet, laying a cable and holding a box of Milk Tray, she'll be curled up at your feet like the warm brown ones.

 

Hehe! Seriously though, she's given it the 'I don't see a long term future for us', 'I don't want to lead you on hurt and you' and 'we should have a break for a few weeks to have a good think' lines. Short if saying 'Fuck off you prick' it's not looking promising is it? It's deffo over as if she wanted me she wouldn't have said all those things to let me down.

 

Just wanna move on, but not on bad terms or leaving it so that I fall into the 'ex but now mates' bracket. I want her to remember me as man who gave her some good nights in the sack, not a 'mate'!

[Dirk]

Fuck it anyway, I just realised, this thread must be an elaborate joke, who goes on a 'date'? What is this 'Saved by the Bell'? This is the nineties, get with it pal, if you can't keep up with the times then don't say things.

 

 

You're stuck in the past mate.