Re-connecting with an ex

[TheBitch]

3 hours ago, TheBitch said:

No. 
 

It NEVER ends well. They are an ex for a reason. 

Ahhhhhh fuck this guy, 2010 Bitch just called…

 

Get her smashed and report back. 

[YorkshireRed]

You’ll both go into this fuelled by nostalgia and a tendency to focus on the positives.
 

The things that made you ‘exes’ will be airbrushed from your memories, or at least rationalised as ‘it was a long time ago’ or ‘we’re older now’. 
 

In the end at least one of you will hugely disappointed the other.
 

You’ll be married by then though, and eating traditional meals from plates in silence, rather than culinary inventions from a red bucket, whilst masturbating.
 

My advice is to proceed with caution. 
 

Unless she’s hot. In which case, proceed without caution.

[Section_31]

It's distressing when you see birds on Facebook who you liked or were sniffing around in your 20s and now they look like someone threw a laod of slippers in a pillowcase and put a wig on top.

 

"Just finished my second stint as full time mummy!" Aka - bum.

[TheHowieLama]

5 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

It's distressing when you see birds on Facebook who you liked or were sniffing around in your 20s and now they look like someone threw a laod of slippers in a pillowcase and put a wig on top.

 

"Just finished my second stint as full time mummy!" Aka - bum.

 

Nah, that should be empowering.

 

Distressing is seeing one who is now stunning and working in a top law firm.

[Section_31]

It's nice that the whole balance of power comes full circle. Women on the whole become less attractive with age and men the opposite, due to men and women being attracted to different things. 

 

When stunners from 20 years ago walk into pubs now the only heads they're turning belong to conservatory salesmen.

 

Meanwhile, there's two birds in my office in their early 20s and I swear everytime I say something like "my house" or "my wife", they get wide-ons big enough to drydock the Yamato. 

[Liverpool lad]

Make such a lasting impression that over a decade later they are caught snooping through your partners Instagram and accidentally liking a post as they scroll in the early hours

 

Even better when both you and your partners LinkedIn profile have been visited by the same person but in private mode so just comes up with their job title and employer 

[Pidge]

30 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

It's distressing when you see birds on Facebook who you liked or were sniffing around in your 20s and now they look like someone threw a laod of slippers in a pillowcase and put a wig on top.

 

"Just finished my second stint as full time mummy!" Aka - bum.

 

The "Have and Don't Want More" zone is a dangerous place to play.

[Bjornebye]

Just don’t offer to cook her tea 

[Pidge]

Breakfast in bed? I'll get the buckets...

[Dr Nowt]

Make her watch all four seasons of Succession back-to-back on an extended first date. If and only if she fully agrees with your commentary about how much you hate and are bored with it should you even consider seeing her again.

 

Might need to repeat this at least once more to be really certain.

[Aventus]

As a wise man once said many years ago,

"Smash her lad!"

[Megadrive Man]

11 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Agree that 34 years is a long time, so much can change in that time. 

 

34 years ago I was 9, was fat and liked Star Trek and worried about being nuked by Russia. Oh wait.

At least you're not nine anymore.

[KMD7]

Ask yourself what would Jordan Henderson do.

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, KMD7 said:

Ask yourself what would Jordan Henderson do.

 

Pass the nuke back to them and point at China. Legend. 

[TheHowieLama]

4 minutes ago, KMD7 said:

Ask yourself what would Jordan Henderson do.

 

Yep, wait til she gets off the train then walk next to her for a few hundred meters.

[Section_31]

28 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

 

Yep, wait til she gets off the train then walk next to her for a few hundred meters.

 

Point at her box.

[polymerpunkah]

I keep reading this as "Re-connecting with an axe."

 

I suppose that answers your question.

[Lee909]

Draw up some sort of good bad template about here and see what happeneds

 

Something like this

 

 

[Carvalho Diablo]

4 hours ago, Lee909 said:

Draw up some sort of good bad template about here and see what happeneds

 

Something like this

 

 

Fuck off.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Despite some heinous piss taking, a first step has been taken.

 

I should say too, that my ex has nothing to apologise or be blamed for, seriously that was all on me, all of it. If I could turn the click back then I would.

 

Young and extremely stupid, and I am genuinely so incredibly sorry for the mistakes i made.

 

I need to sleep but I'm 53 and buzzing my tits off.

[VladimirIlyich]

45 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Despite some heinous piss taking, a first step has been taken.

 

I should say too, that my ex has nothing to apologise or be blamed for, seriously that was all on me, all of it. If I could turn the click back then I would.

 

Young and extremely stupid, and I am genuinely so incredibly sorry for the mistakes i made.

 

I need to sleep but I'm 53 and buzzing my tits off.

That feeling of being incredibly sorry will stay with you all through the relationship,particularly when you have nothing to feel sorry for in your eyes!

[elvis]

6 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Despite some heinous piss taking, a first step has been taken.

 

I should say too, that my ex has nothing to apologise or be blamed for, seriously that was all on me, all of it. If I could turn the click back then I would.

 

Young and extremely stupid, and I am genuinely so incredibly sorry for the mistakes i made.

 

I need to sleep but I'm 53 and buzzing my tits off.

If she has a nice , natural and friendly demeanor, I'd say procede with caution.

If she's the type who likes a bit of a verbal scuffle on occasion , run like fuck 

[Josef Svejk]

6 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

I should say too, that my ex has nothing to apologise or be blamed for, seriously that was all on me, all of it. If I could turn the click back then I would.

 

Young and extremely stupid, and I am genuinely so incredibly sorry for the mistakes i made.

 

So, she's been planning her revenge for 34 years?

 

Good luck. 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Stick to the odd nostalgia wank and leave it at that imo

[VladimirIlyich]

43 minutes ago, elvis said:

If she has a nice , natural and friendly demeanor, I'd say procede with caution.

If she's the type who likes a bit of a verbal scuffle on occasion , run like fuck 

But smash her first.