*Shakes head* Everton again.

[Paulie Dangerously]

So good they lost the screen sport super cup

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

My absolute favourite bluenose myth is the supposed Echo bias. Could not be further from the truth, most of the sports staff are blues and they get more free publicity than Pete Price.

[ZonkoVille77]

When the bitter in my place pipes up on a Monday morning and I'm not in the humour for him, I just say "Nick Barmby" to him and he goes full fewm. It's nice to watch with a cuppa.

[Captain Turdseye]

Grand Old Team's stadium thread is pushing 1800 pages now and the blues seem to be in agreement that there'll be an announcement on Thursday about Bramley Moore. Joe Anderson put a tweet out saying he's cancelled his hairdressers appointment so it must be legit.

 

It looks like the end of the road for TLW. We won't be able to talk football after our heads have fallen off.

[Wezza]

http://www.football365.com/news/premier-league-hall-of-shame-everton

 

Worst thing that other fans think of them
On the surface, Everton are a club considered to be friends to all and enemies of none, barely raising a murmur of disapproval. Scrape away that veneer, however, and there is material aplenty.

For Everton supporters are surprisingly venomous online, like seeing a nerdy kid in the showers at school with an unusually large penis. They are incredibly defensive over their club’s players, and woe betide anyone who suggests one of them may be picked off by a bigger club. Most of all, they are fantastically sweary and committed to their arguments, like Father Jack’s surprise debut on the debating team.

The accusation is that this anger stems from Everton being successful once but not any more, but crucially not bad enough (like Leeds United or Nottingham Forest) to sit outside the mainstream consciousness. The suspicion is also that a life living in the shadow of their city neighbours raises the anger levels, like the rebellious little brother. Don’t worry, I’m reaching for the tin helmet.

This idea of ‘big club’ Everton is a line perpetuated by journalists, who grew up at a time when the Toffees were indeed hugely successful.

I get it, by the way. Everton are a family club that believes in doing things right, even if rampant commercialism has taken victims at Goodison as well as everywhere else. It’s not pleasant to think that money brings success, but that is the reality. Before Farhad Moshiri’s $2bn rolled into town, Everton supporters felt the same.

 

Worst thing about the ground
Nothing, other than the occasional restricted view nightmare. Goodison is soaked in character, has the close-knit feel that every ground should have and still has those classic touches of the bygone era. Everything that the new stadium won’t have, in short.

 

Worst signing
Per Kroldrup was that very special kind of bad, in that supporters have next to no evidence for it but know it to be true. Having signed for £5m from Udinese in June 2005, the Danish central defender suffered a groin injury that required surgery. By the time he was fully fit it was December, and Kroldrup started in a 4-0 defeat to Aston Villa. Thirty-one days later, he had been sold to Fiorentina. Truly a whistlestop tour of sh*tness.

 

Worst kit
I don’t need some clever sod to tell me that Everton used to wear red (1891-95), but since the turn of the 20th century Liverpool have been red and Everton have been blue. That’s just how it works.

With that in mind, Everton’s worst kit has to be the 1995 away shirt, a combination of red and navy stripes with a shield badge that looked like something you got for swimming 25m in your pyjamas and fetching a brick from the bottom of the pool. The lightning pink and sludgy green away kits from recent years were bad, but this is worse.

Even aside from the red, it looks like the type of boring shirt Malcolm in accounts designs for his fantasy football team after overhearing you talk about the league and insisting he join despite knowing nothing about sport.

“Big points for Andy Carroll this weekend,” he says to you without fail every Friday afternoon. You haven’t the heart to tell him that Carroll is injured, it’s international week and that everyone knows about him sh*tting himself at his desk after curry Friday, despite his colleagues promising to keep the secret.

 

That’s the important stuff done. Now, how creepy is the mascot?
Until now, the mascots’ greatest crimes have been their lack of character. Changy the elephant is here to change all that.

Firstly the name and the look, for you may have noticed that Merseyside isn’t teeming with wild elephants; even Knowsley Safari Park only has four. Everton may be the self-styled People’s Club, but nothing quite kisses capitalism on the cheek like naming your club mascot after, and styling it on, an animal featured in the logo of your kit sponsor that is also a brand of Thai beer. Even Manchester United and Chelsea haven’t gone down the route of calling their mascots ‘Chevy’ and ‘Yoko’, despite both being actual forenames. Neither of them picked a name for a mascot that an unbearable stockbroker in London might use for his mate who snorts cocaine before lunchtime, either.

However, the true glory of Changy came in 2010, when he visited Pineapple Dance Studios to meet Louie Spence for a pre-season dance lesson in order to film an advert for Sky Sports promoting their new 3D coverage. Incredibly, none of that last sentence is fictional.

This picture of Everton's Changy the Elephant and Louie Spence will never not make me smile. pic.twitter.com/tUaB6O2V8y

— Daniel Storey (@danielstorey85) March 20, 2017

 

I’m not going to beat around the bush any longer here, because you’ve all seen it: Spence is using an elephant mascot’s trunk as a representation of a phallic symbol. Don’t you ever spray water at me with that again, Changy, you dirty pig.

Worst celebrity fan – Matt Dawson
Everton’s list of celebrity supporters is both long and reasonably inoffensive, just so long as you ignore the crimes against music committed by Steps (Lee Latchford-Evans), The Corrs (Sharon Corr), Atomic Kitten (Liz McLarnon), B*witched (Keavy Leach) and Girls Aloud (Nicola Roberts). If you made sugary pop in the nineties and noughties, the chances are you support Everton.

Yet there can only be one winner, heavyweight champion of the banter Matt Dawson, a man for whom ‘going for a cheeky pint with the lads’ has become a way of life.

I can do no greater service to Dawson’s characteristics than the wonderful Jonathan Liew did in 2015, but suffice to say the former England rugby player has hardly learned his lesson. His persona can be best described as Top Gear presenter’s nephew, without the bootcut jeans but very much with the loud pub voice and the over-exuberant slapping of backs. Dawson is the mate to everyone in ‘the industry’ but the friend of far fewer, spending his Saturday evenings in the pub with people who end tweets with hashtags like #DrinkLowDrinkChariot and #RealMenRealAle.

 

Greatest own goal
It’s retro own goal time, with this famous effort from Sandy Brown in the Merseyside derby in 1969 that is still talked about among Liverpool and Everton supporters. Some own goals arise from players not having enough time to react, while others come from them having too much time. Sandy Brown had more time than most.

Weirdest club shop item
There are plenty of branded items on every club shop website that make me muse over who on earth would buy them. I understand the stuff for children, because kids are both happy by default and absolute idiots who will be tricked into thinking wearing a Superman costume turns them into a superhero. Fools. By that basis, why wouldn’t they want to wear Doncaster Rovers slippers or sleep under a Norwich City duvet cover?

Other items confuse me a little more, but I at least understand the principle. Anyone spending £75 on a smart white shirt with Chelsea logo on the breast pocket needs their head looking at in my honest opinion, but there is no accounting for people desperate to show off their support for their football club. It’s like those men who sit around the swimming pool in 33c heat wearing their Celtic away kit as if any bugger will think ‘Oh goodness, he must really love those guys. He must be the bestest fan ever’.

Then there are the items that are just plain weird, which brings us to the ‘twin pack of Everton toothbrushes’. The first thing to note here is that these are designed for adults. Children’s brushes might be a clever way of getting the little dickheads to adopt some personal hygiene, but that explanation doesn’t wash (ha) here. No, an adult person has to choose to brush a part of their body every morning and night with something that displays the name of their favourite club. Honestly, how insecure do you need to be to reaffirm your support for a football team with a toothbrush?

What I like most is the product description, which spends most of its six bullet points telling you what a toothbrush is. ‘Compact Head for easy access around the mouth’ is it? Oh thanks, Everton, I thought it would be the size of a shoe box and I’d have to rub my teeth up and down against it while resting it on the sink. ‘2 pack’? Oh so that’s what ‘twin pack’ means. Cheers.

Imagine walking home after making your purchase, and bumping into an old flame on the street, the one you never got over, and realise that they are definitely flirting with you. They ask you where you have been and spot your shopping bag.

“Oh, you still follow Everton,” they say with a smile. “You always did love them. I remember you had an Everton clock in your lounge when I moved in. That soon had to go if you wanted me to stick around! Do you still go to the games?”

They peer in your shopping bag, and see a twin pack of Everton-branded toothbrushes, and their face turns grey. “Well, I suppose I’ll see you around. Have nice lif… ermm… I… erm… mean have a nice day.”

As you walk home slowly, you reflect on turning 35 next week. ‘I really must take that clock down,’ you think to yourself.

Daniel Storey

[Harry Squatter]

Red nose day coming up. Wonder if there will be any blue ones knocking about like the santa outfits and poppy wreaths.

[Manny]

Grand Old Team's stadium thread is pushing 1800 pages now and the blues seem to be in agreement that there'll be an announcement on Thursday about Bramley Moore. Joe Anderson put a tweet out saying he's cancelled his hairdressers appointment so it must be legit.

 

It looks like the end of the road for TLW. We won't be able to talk football after our heads have fallen off.

 

Fucking hell, just had a quick look and even just reading one page there's some fucking gold, I mean this is breathing the same rarefied air as the now infamous "slap the money on the table for James Rodriguez" champ man post:

 

 

 

We need to trust not only Meiss but also think about what Mr Moshiri wants to leave behind. This will be his life defining legacy that will last beyond him and his children.

These are the things that drive these type of men. They do not settle for second best or even people saying 'no' to them. (Take note Rom)

I don't think we will have seen anything like it in European, possibly world football. Meiss wants to leave his mark on this game of ours too. He wants the building to inspire and create the best atmosphere in the Premier League..It will be an astheticly stand out structure on the outside and a scientifically designed four sided bear-pit inside.

 

So there we have it. Big Moshi - majority shareholder rather than outright owner, lest we forget - is going to turn around to his children and his shareholders and say "sorry guys, I've turned my pockets out to build a scientifically-designed giant bear pit on Bramley Moore, that's my legacy now, I'm going to raise this stadium like a son." Altruism truly has no limits.

[Sputnik1]

Apple launches red iPhone 7

 

 

 

 

[Scooby Dudek]

This is the new Liverpool Underground Tube Map for 2027, Bramley Moore station 
If we wasn't going they wouldn't open a rail link down those ways 

 

 

Apparently

[Strontium]

Red nose day coming up. Wonder if there will be any blue ones knocking about like the santa outfits and poppy wreaths.

 

We have had an email in work inviting us to wear red on Red Nose Day, albeit with an obvious salve to Evertonians, to wear "purple if you don’t own anything red".

 

Mind you, every day is Red Nose Day for a whole cadre of ex-Evertonians - Norman Whiteside, Andy van der Meyde, Gazza etc

[jimmycase]

We have had an email in work inviting us to wear red on Red Nose Day, albeit with an obvious salve to Evertonians, to wear "purple if you don’t own anything red".

 

Mind you, every day is Red Nose Day for a whole cadre of ex-Evertonians - Norman Whiteside, Andy van der Meyde, Gazza etc

 

You've got to see it to believe it, havent you? When I was working at Santander, Bootle, the number of everton fans who wouldnt wear the corporate red lanyard for their passes and bought blue ones was truely enlightening.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

This is the new Liverpool Underground Tube Map for 2027, Bramley Moore station

If we wasn't going they wouldn't open a rail link down those ways

 

 

Apparently

I think the Crosby to New Brighton ferry is as plausible as the Blueshitebowl.

[Paco]

Why's county road in red?

[Fugitive]

Yeah, the trams were a great success. I'm sure an entire new underground network will be a piece of piss.

[Harry Squatter]

Some woman who posts on skyscrapercity does them. The Echo get permission off her to use them then put it in a click bait article titled "this is how Mersey rail could look in 2025". Everyone opens it then realises it is just a set of drawings some woman did because she wanted Liverpool to look like London.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Repped - every time.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

This is the new Liverpool Underground Tube Map for 2027, Bramley Moore station 

If we wasn't going they wouldn't open a rail link down those ways 

 

 

Apparently

Where has this come from?  Is this GOT or something?

 

Has the person who originally posted this even stopped to think that the site that they're all jacking off about - which will, no doubt, be confirmed by Boss Hogg on Thursday - is 1km from Sandhills?

 

For the record, here's the real Merseyrail 30 year strategy.  This was prepared by people who didn't just have a Merseyrail map and a set of felt tips - they had a calculator, too.

https://www.merseytravel.gov.uk/Site%20Documents/LCR%20LTRS_Strategy%20Summary_01_08_14_Final%20Issue%20(6)_MTravel.pdf

[AngryOfTuebrook]

View image on Twitter

 

 

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The Blue Union @TheBlueUnion

Tomorrow marks the 125th anniversary of the announcement that the funding was in place to turn the dream of Goodison into a reality.

9:05 PM - 21 Mar 2017 · Goodison Park Stadium

 

 

Yeah, because Everton were chasing their dreams, to a new and brighter future, when they welched on the rent at Anfield.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Well, I'm convinced.

 

-60000 seater stadium at Bramley Moore Dock.
-4 stands, all enclosed, rectangular shape, brick exterior based on the dock warehouses.
-Stadium design will win awards and cause amazing levels of red jealousy.
-Surrounding area will be redeveloped in very similar fashion to the planned Roma development, featuring retail and leisure.
-Bramley Moore Railway Station is a certainty to be built, inserted on the Northern Line between Sandhills and Moorfields.
-Goodison Park site will not be sold to a supermarket or anything like that and will instead be turned into part residential, part Everton In the Community free school, part local community leisure facilities.
-L4 area future secured with a meaningful lasting legacy.

Thursday's announcement will probably be the BMD site purchase by the club and not much else, although an initial new stadium design teaser may be released too.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Are we going to have to rename this thread "Shakes head carefully to stop it falling off..."?

[General Dryness]

Sometimes I read things on this site and think "what a nutter".

 

Them lot are off the scale though. Simply beyond deluded.

[Bjornebye]

'Bramley Moore' sound like somewhere they would uncover stuff about wrong doings

[cloggypop]

A red brick stadium eh?

[Ne Moe Imya]

I'm sorry, but why should we even care?

 

I mean, let's just say that hypothetically, Everton fans get everything they want.  60,000-seater stadium at the dock, Moshiri buys them outright and then buys them a few big-money players, the whole thing.

 

Like, I don't mean to be rude to them, but so what?  At best, absolute best-case scenario then they're where we are right now.  Maybe they make "the big 6" into "the big 7," but there's zero chance they're going to the top of that pile with City and Chelsea.  Maybe they sneak fourth place every third or fourth season, maybe we have a crazy season and they win the FA Cup or something.

 

Er, so?  I just don't see what they're all so worked up about.  It's not as if they're going to morph into Real Madrid over the next 10 years.  Most likely (as we all know) they'll still be the seventh- or eighth-best side in England 10 years from now, but even if they get everything they want, they'll still be the fifth- or sixth-best side in England.  Whoop-de-doo.

[3 Stacks]

It's not as if they're going to morph into Real Madrid over the next 10 years.  

 

I don't think you understand that this is Money Moshiri's life defining legacy, mate. He doesn't settle for second best. He'll turn Everton into the biggest club in the world or he'll die trying.