The world of a woman.

[Harry's Lad]

On 17/03/2024 at 02:32, Jose Jones said:

I would have thought you knew this by now Paulie, being an experienced ladies man.

Women often when they talk to you do not want their problems solving or logical answers to questions.  What they want is to work through their thoughts out loud to someone who will just make encouraging remarks.

If you do try to solve the issue they get annoyed, because what they really want is to talk for a bit. 
 

I find switching my hearing aids off solves a lot of that malarkey.

Just nod or grunt every now and then.

Hearing loss has it's plus points.

[Bjornebye]

On 23/03/2024 at 08:43, Captain Turdseye said:

In the pub the other night and the most cockney bird I’ve ever encountered gravitated towards me and my mate, coked up to fuck, wouldn’t shut up. Bruv, G, not in my yard, ya undastand me, etc, etc. Kept trying to show us pictures of her mate who “Got cut up, bro, no cap”
 

We left that pub after one drink to get away from her. I was telling this story to my missus last night and as soon as I said “the most cockney girl…” she stopped me and said she knew who it was, told me to stop talking while she got the bird’s Facebook page up. It was her as well. 
 

Turns out it’s her mate’s niece who she’s told me tales of before. She’s not from London, never lived there, born and lived in this town over an away from the smoke her whole life. Fucking bizarre, people don’t talk like that here. She’s 35 years old, this broad, and she’s white. Mental. 
 

Think about the worst plastic scouser you’ve heard (not me, Stig, you knob) and multiply it by ten. 

Pics or gtfo 

[3 Stacks]

On 23/03/2024 at 04:43, Captain Turdseye said:

In the pub the other night and the most cockney bird I’ve ever encountered gravitated towards me and my mate, coked up to fuck, wouldn’t shut up. Bruv, G, not in my yard, ya undastand me, etc, etc. Kept trying to show us pictures of her mate who “Got cut up, bro, no cap”
 

We left that pub after one drink to get away from her. I was telling this story to my missus last night and as soon as I said “the most cockney girl…” she stopped me and said she knew who it was, told me to stop talking while she got the bird’s Facebook page up. It was her as well. 
 

Turns out it’s her mate’s niece who she’s told me tales of before. She’s not from London, never lived there, born and lived in this town over an away from the smoke her whole life. Fucking bizarre, people don’t talk like that here. She’s 35 years old, this broad, and she’s white. Mental. 
 

Think about the worst plastic scouser you’ve heard (not me, Stig, you knob) and multiply it by ten. 

Very much want to meet some scouse and or essex ladies with humongous lips and bolt ons. The stereotypes for both these are hilarious. Innit djanawmean.

[Bjornebye]

12 minutes ago, 3 Stacks said:

Very much want to meet some scouse and or essex ladies with humongous lips and bolt ons. The stereotypes for both these are hilarious. Innit djanawmean.

Trust me, you don’t. They’ll burn your head out within a minute 

[Captain Turdseye]

18 minutes ago, 3 Stacks said:

Very much want to meet some scouse and or essex ladies with humongous lips and bolt ons. The stereotypes for both these are hilarious. Innit djanawmean.

And you’ll very much want to get away quickly, like Stig said. 
 

There’s an Irish bird on Gladiators at the moment with an accent to die for. It helps that she’s very, very pretty. She’s through to the final this weekend. 

[Captain Turdseye]

Some Essex accents are pretty nice on women as well, to be fair. Nice old style Essex. 
 

Same as Scousers, really. 

[Bjornebye]

11 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

And you’ll very much want to get away quickly, like Stig said. 
 

There’s an Irish bird on Gladiators at the moment with an accent to die for. It helps that she’s very, very pretty. She’s through to the final this weekend. 

Her? 

[Captain Turdseye]

3 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Her? 

 

No, this one. She came from nine seconds back to win The Eliminator in the semi-final, mate. What a woman. 
 

 

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

No, this one. She came from nine seconds back to win The Eliminator in the semi-final, mate. What a woman. 
 

 

Id come from the back in 9 seconds as well 

 

 

 

Weeeeyyyyyyy 

 

 

[Bjornebye]

She’s just been trying to shout out the answers on The Chase and I’ve heard her from the kitchen shout “pass!”. Now she’s fuming because I’m pissing myself laughing. 

[Creator Supreme]

9 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

She’s just been trying to shout out the answers on The Chase and I’ve heard her from the kitchen shout “pass!”. Now she’s fuming because I’m pissing myself laughing. 

Ha fucking hell, you can't let her live that down.

[Captain Turdseye]

Might be one for the parenting thread, but our teenage girl text me the other night.

“Any chance you could pick me up at 8ish x”

 

She sent the text at 7:52. I’ll just fucking snap my fingers and be there, eh. 
 

I’ve arranged to give her a lift home tonight. So far it’s been 8pm at school, then 8:20 at Tesco and now “might be a bit late, show still going on”

 

I’m gonna be sat outside Tesco for half an hour like a twat. 

[sir roger]

[Josef Svejk]

11 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

No, this one. She came from nine seconds back to win The Eliminator in the semi-final, mate. What a woman. 
 

 

 

Must be climate change, but it's amazing how Irish ladies tan these days.

 

That yoke is genuinely darker than the black gladiators.

[Captain Turdseye]

3 hours ago, Josef Svejk said:

 

Must be climate change, but it's amazing how Irish ladies tan these days.

 

That yoke is genuinely darker than the black gladiators.

My eldest daughter doesn’t like her for that reason. Too much makeup and fake tan apparently. She’s rooting for the other girl this week. I just love that accent on a good looking lady. 
 

It was filmed last summer, to be fair. 

[sir roger]

The niece did the Liverpool half-marathon last weekend, and the Brother in Law, who is a serious runner, was pissing himself at her and hundreds of other young ladies wearing full make-up for the event. 

[Byrnie]

2 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

My eldest daughter doesn’t like her for that reason. Too much makeup and fake tan apparently. She’s rooting for the other girl this week. I just love that accent on a good looking lady. 
 

It was filmed last summer, to be fair. 

I'm not fond of her either mate. I was rooting for the Scottish girl, who blew it to be fair.

 

The arrogance and the worm in the celebrations made her look like a tool in the previous episodes. She beat a one-eyed woman and done the worm ffs.

[Captain Turdseye]

9 minutes ago, Byrnie said:

I'm not fond of her either mate. I was rooting for the Scottish girl, who blew it to be fair.

Aye, she was a good contender and deserved to go through, but if you face plant on the Travellator you deserve to go home. Thats the way it is. 

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, sir roger said:

The niece did the Liverpool half-marathon last weekend, and the Brother in Law, who is a serious runner, was pissing himself at her and hundreds of other young ladies wearing full make-up for the event. 

Madness. Some simply won’t leave the house without the full works. 
 

Lee Butler does a walk for mental health at Crocky Park every Saturday morning (it looks really good to be fair, always loads of people especially lads from 20 to about 50) and it usually coincides with us walking the dog past them. The amount of girls you see absolutely spruced up to the nines is funny. My birds reckons they go on the pull because the Sefton car park is always full of range rovers when they do it. 

[VladimirIlyich]

48 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Madness. Some simply won’t leave the house without the full works. 
 

Lee Butler does a walk for mental health at Crocky Park every Saturday morning (it looks really good to be fair, always loads of people especially lads from 20 to about 50) and it usually coincides with us walking the dog past them. The amount of girls you see absolutely spruced up to the nines is funny. My birds reckons they go on the pull because the Sefton car park is always full of range rovers when they do it. 

They're the dogger's cars.

[TheHowieLama]

3 hours ago, sir roger said:

The niece did the Liverpool half-marathon last weekend, and the Brother in Law, who is a serious runner, was pissing himself at her and hundreds of other young ladies wearing full make-up for the event. 

 

Send him a quick text : "Sha-Carri Richardson would wipe the floor with you, in full make up AND high heels."

[sir roger]

5 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

 

Send him a quick text : "Sha-Carri Richardson would wipe the floor with you, in full make up AND high heels."

 

Can she can do me first, please !

 

She isn't running 13 miles usually, to be fair. 

[TheHowieLama]

I have no doubt she could.

[redinblack]

A lot of people being fair on this thread. Good to see.

[sir roger]

Fair ?  .....  Fair to women ?

Neville Chamberlain lives on.