Doritos Roulette

[Sugar Ape]

Anyone tried these? We are sitting here in work trying them and I'm in bits. So is everyone else. My tongue if completely numb, fuck me they are hot. You get a spicy one in every handful. We were eating ghost pepper peanuts the other week and these are honestly worse. Get on them, £1 a bag in Tesco.

 

http://metro.co.uk/2015/04/20/introducing-doritos-roulette-the-hottest-crisps-ever-could-you-handle-them-5158086/

 

Introducing Doritos Roulette, the hottest crisps EVER – could you handle them?

 

 

 

These crisps are hot right now.

 

No, really. The Doritos Roulette, launched today, claim to be the hottest crisps to ever hit the UK.

 

One in every handful of crisps is said to be coated with a ‘special’ fiery flavouring which measures 78,000 units on the Scoville Heat Scale (a Scotch Bonnet pepper rates between 100,000 to 350,000 on the scale).

 

These little crisps with a big kick are 10 times hotter than a jalapeño pepper. In fact, they’re so hot they come with a warning on the packet.

 

The other crisps in the packet are a much cooler tangy cheese flavour, making each bag like a game of Russian roulette for your tastebuds.

 

Michael Walford, Doritos marketing manager said: ‘Doritos have always been a social snack to share with friends but Doritos Roulette really steps it up a notch.

 

‘There’s a warning on the pack for a reason – the invisible hot chips are exactly that. They’re hotter than most of the spiciest dishes out there so you’re going to want to have a glass of milk at the ready in case you get one!’

 

Passing round that bowl of nibbles at the next house party just got a whole lot more interesting.

 

 

 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Want.

 

As soon as I eat them: Don't want.

[General Dryness]

Is there a version of these for men?

[Sugar Ape]

You tried them?

[Bjornebye]

I remember a 'friend' of mine telling me a story of him eating a bag of chilli doritos then fingering his bird later on and her being in pain from it. Same thing happened when he had been handling an actual chilli another time. She must have wondered what the fuck was up with his fingers. She took the dick like an angel though and had arguably the tightest...... you know. So he told me anyway. Holiday rep in Cyprus now she is. Looks like a right filthy bitch with a tan. 3 years he was with her. She asked him to come on her face the 2nd time they fucked. He still think about her sometimes.....

 

For fuck sake.

[General Dryness]

You tried them?

No, but I laugh in the face of Habaneros, and they're 350k plus.

 

I also arm wrestle lobsters.

[Mook]

One in every handful?

 

Bunch of big fucking jessies.

[Sugar Ape]

We had these ghost chilli psycho nuts things in work which were meant to be twice as hot as these crisps and they weren't half as bad. They're fucking brutal.

[General Dryness]

I'll reserve full and final judgement till I've tried them then. I'm sure we'll get them here eventually.

[Sugar Ape]

I'm loving people laughing them off who haven't tried them. You'll see. You'll all see.

 

Also just negged Mook by accident. Ah well.

[Bjornebye]

Rub one under your foreskin then hard-case.

[General Dryness]

Rub one under your foreskin then hard-case.

No worries, can I have another one to scratch my itchy ring?

[Major Tom]

I'll reserve full and final judgement till I've tried them then. I'm sure we'll get them here eventually.

Yeah, righto.

[The Golden Eel]

No way my gut could hack this.  I nearly died the last time I had a Bombay Bad Boy 

[General Dryness]

Yeah, righto.

There's hope Tom. I'm only 40. I've got at least ten years left in me. Time enough. Maybe.

[General Dryness]

No way my gut could hack this. I nearly died the last time I had a Bombay Bad Boy

That's what Stig said last time he was in India.

[Mook]

I'm loving people laughing them off who haven't tried them. You'll see. You'll all see.

 

Also just negged Mook by accident. Ah well.

 

In all seriousness, I'll get a bag on my way home & will report back here on Monday after an entire weeking of crying because they were too hot.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I had these last night and they were the hottest thing I've ever tasted, I'm not into curries and that so it's not much of statement but fuck me, my mouth was on fire for ages, ok, you can now continue to all tell us how you ate fire and washed it down with a pint of unleaded.

[Sugar Ape]

In all seriousness, I'll get a bag on my way home & will report back here on Monday after an entire weeking of crying because they were too hot.

Fucking Monday? I want to know tonight. My boss asked me if I was coming down with a cold because my nose was streaming.

[Sugar Ape]

I had these last night and they were the hottest thing I've ever tasted, I'm not into curries and that so it's not much of statement but fuck me, my mouth was on fire for ages, ok, you can now continue to all tell us how you ate fire and washed it down with a pint of unleaded.

Amen brother. I'm not into hot curries and all that either and they blew me away.

[Mook]

Fucking Monday? I want to know tonight. My boss asked me if I was coming down with a cold because my nose was streaming.

 

This is not normal crying, my hissy fits would make Diana Ross blush.

[Bjornebye]

Howard Kendall drinks paraffin then lights his farts.

[Rotpeter]

One in every handful?

 

Bunch of big fucking jessies.

Repped for jessies.  Been years since I heard that.  Sassenachs too, I bet.

[Stickman]

Doritios...pah , They're nothing compared to the Sprouts of evil...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM8lFtzrWfU

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Amen brother. I'm not into hot curries and all that either and they blew me away.

 

 

They all tasty a tiny bit spicy so I was duped, munching away till I hit the good stuff, had to shampoo my beard afterwards, true story.