The GF has made me a better person

[Nunavut Patrick]

I realize that marrying a nutter is not a unique experience.

 

I know not to accept dates with women on mobility scooters. I know how to properly cook a haggis.

 

And on a more sappy note, as I am feeling a bit sappy this fine morning having eaten five strips of peppered glazed bacon, there are some decent fuckers out there, especially those blokes down under. And by that I do not mean chin deep in some steam cleaned fanny but Australia.

[Melchett]

I poo the right way round.

[Nunavut Patrick]

AC Slatering.

 

Epic.  There is still a slid mark at the Hilton, Winnipeg Airport, Room 534.

[Chairman Meow]

Is your mate from the North East?

 

If he had meant me he wouldn't need to ask that question. 

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

The GF has given me a far better shaving experience. I used to either pull some hair clippers across my face to leave some stubble, or if I was going somewhere that required me to make make at least an effort to look like a normal human, I'd scrape the dull, rusty blade of a Gillett something or another over my face. Now, with the precision of a really precise fucking ninja with good eyesight, I use hand crafted razor with the sharpest blades made by men of the sharpest wit for other men with the sharpest dress sense. And rather than spraying chemical-laden foam all over my face, I use the creamy scent of the finest shaving cream. Plus, it saves me money - otherwise fuck it, I'd have stubble.

 

It also taught me how to polarise completely meaningless things. Before, I enjoyed baked beans occasionally. If you didn't want them, that was your choice. No problem, it's only beans, right? Now it's different; if you don't have them you're worse than a rapist. It goes rapists, mass murderers, you non-beaners, and then kiddy fiddlers. Only kiddy fiddlers are worse than you lot. That's what the GF taught me. Actually, it's not just beans, is it. The GF is a dividing line on all sorts of subjects. You're a Nazi or you're a freedom fighter. You're a Godless mong or you're a God fearing retard. There's no grey on the GF. Only black and white. You fucking racists.

[The Golden Eel]

On the point of holding up queues, I used to work in McDonald's and you'd get people sitting in the drive thru in a queue for 5-10 minutes, then, when they get to the window to order, they THEN fucking start asking their three young children what they want and choose what they want after much arsing about, taking a couple of minutes or more to actually place their order. Really used to do my head in that

[Scott_M]

It's made me a bigger sexual deviant.

[the chimp]

It has given me the confidence to realise that so long as I am tooled up properly I need no longer fear bears.

[Jim MM]

Not me. I used to be a lovely man until I got in with ye shower of cunts.

[Remmie]

The "I would" years taught me that my low standards were nothing in comparison to my fellow man

[Bjornebye]

It had stalled my career

[VladimirIlyich]

Ifithadnabinfor the GF.

[Captain Turdseye]

I’ve grown up on this forum. It’s influenced me socially, politically, culturally, musically, and loads of other things that end in ‘ally’

 

I’ve spent most of my adult life on the GF and in the Bitchfest. 

[tokyojoe]

Not much to do today John? Bumping all these threads.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

51 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I’ve grown up on this forum. It’s influenced me socially, politically, culturally, musically, and loads of other things that end in ‘ally’

 

I’ve spent most of my adult life on the GF and in the Bitchfest. 

It's just about the last place on the internet where you can disagree with strangers in the right way: still call each other a cunt occasionally, but exchange more facts than insults; and then go on repping each other for posting shit jokes, great music or attractive ladies.

[YorkshireRed]

I consider the GF to be my ‘go to’ place for information on everybody and everything.
 

It also provides advice as to how life should be lived in the modern world. Advice I’ve followed to the letter.

 

Upon my release from prison I shall continue to tread this excellent path by buying a monkey and arming it with a knife. 

[sir roger]

I get more laugh out loud moments on here than the rest of my week put together.

 

Not sure whether that is a good or bad thing on reflection.

[YorkshireRed]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I’ve grown up on this forum. It’s influenced me socially, politically, culturally, musically, and loads of other things that end in ‘ally’

 

I’ve spent most of my adult life on the GF and in the Bitchfest. 

Sexually?

[Captain Turdseye]

30 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

Not much to do today John? Bumping all these threads.

Bump some, bookmark others. Some of these shouldn’t be languishing hundreds of pages away. 
 

Gotta get a shower in a minute, Dave, then I’ve promised to play Connect 4, Dominoes and Mario Kart before the f***y starts. No more bumping today. 
 

7 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Sexually?

 

That as well. I can even remember Champ being on my case about cunnilingus at one point. 

[Furmedge]

Think I was 26 when I first joined this site.  That was 20 years ago.  The things that have changed in my life in the years since I found this place are plenty, but one thing remains............"Fuck off, Momo!"

[manwiththestick]

2 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

I consider the GF to be my ‘go to’ place for information on everybody and everything.
 

It also provides advice as to how life should be lived in the modern world. Advice I’ve followed to the letter.

 

Upon my release from prison I shall continue to tread this excellent path by buying a monkey and arming it with a knife. 

True TLW stalwarts would know the animal of choice is a molnkey or squesant.

[Sut]

2 hours ago, Furmedge said:

Think I was 26 when I first joined this site.  That was 20 years ago.  The things that have changed in my life in the years since I found this place are plenty, but one thing remains............"Fuck off, Momo!"

Nods sagely. "Fuck off Momo, indeed..."