Have a rant thread

[Bjornebye]

What about them? that's not a rant Rob that's just lazy criticism.

 

A cheeseboard can be eaten whenever the fuck whoever wants to eat one wants

[Section_31]

When you're having a full English? Jihads have been declared for less.

Not me, good god sir do you take me for Danish?

 

The point is it's not for the greasy spoon cafe owner to decide what goes on your toast. English Tommies fought and died for that right.

[JagSquared]

A good cafe should ask "would you like your toast buttered?" It's not hard and removes the cold toast issue. It's laziness handing you one one those packets. It just creates a situation no party is going to be happy with.

[mattyq]

Some people may prefer olive oil spreads or a choice of preserves? The more new wave among us may even plump for Nutella. 

I've stared at this post for about 10 minutes and still can't make any headway with it

I'm all for a fine choice of preserves and, although not a fan, can appreciate people opting for Nutella

After the butter, though.

You can't put this sort of thing on your toast before butter for that way chaos lies

I'm ignoring the olive spread bit as obviously this was some sort of serious mistake...i expect you're on some sort of heavy duty medication like heroin or pepped up with goofballs

[Boss]

Paving stones that have water underneath which splashes all over your shoes and keks when you step on them.

 

What kind of keks are you wearing to step on them?

 

[stringvest]

serious lionels, them.  

[Dr Nowt]

Stop taking pictures of me with a long lens camera.

[Harry Squatter]

The fact that I walk to work and there are fucking loads of dodgy paving stones. The pace I walk as well they might as well be fucking landmines that explode shitty muddy water over my fucking shoes and the bottom of my non flared keks.

[Paulie Dangerously]

New chippy opened by ours. The one I usually go to is boss. Gave this new one a chance with a set meal. It was so average and bland it was worse than it being shit.

 

[General Dryness]

It's all about the base.

 

It's the new song girls sing to the "bubbly" one in their group of mates. It used to be "you're a superstar" but now it's that.

 

She's got a lovely smile.

 

Behave, thats the member of the herd I used to target. Like a lion. Go for the weak one. They always put out, and put some effort into it too.

[Section_31]

New chippy opened by ours. The one I usually go to is boss. Gave this new one a chance with a set meal. It was so average and bland it was worse than it being shit.

There's nothing worse than taking a food gamble and losing.

[stringvest]

There's nothing worse than taking a food gamble and losing.

 

An ill-considered shit gamble may run it close.

[Bjornebye]

You aren't a proper man if you haven't had to stay out on the ale, commando on account of accidentally following through and having to bin yer bills in a cistern

[lifetime fan]

Even Turdseye would think twice about wearing them.

[Bjornebye]

Turdseye wouldn't be seen dead in them.

 

Straight outta Lizzie's wardrobe they are.

 

First time I met Lizzie, his kecks were the first thing I noticed. I'm a cunt for taking the piss out of things straight away and i'm lucky he wasn't some psycho and didn't pull a knife on me. Woodstock fucker.

[lifetime fan]

Turdseye wouldn't be seen dead in them.

 

Straight outta Lizzie's wardrobe they are.

 

First time I met Lizzie, his kecks were the first thing I noticed. I'm a cunt for taking the piss out of things straight away and i'mlucky he wasn't some psycho and didn't pull a knife on me. Woodstock fucker.

We are talking about the same bloke aren't we?

 

This is the Lizzie that almost killed a sweet little asian bird for having the temerity to be handing out anti ukip flyers.

[Mook]

Nothing wrong with a pair of flares, I do draw the line at bell bottoms though.

 

You can't see a pair of Sambas under them.

[lifetime fan]

Apple genius cunts.

 

I've a problem with my laptop so take it to the store to get it looked at this morning. Our next appointment is 18:25.

 

Not that fucking genius to have enough staff on shift are you you fat shit beard wearing vegetarian cunt.

[Bjornebye]

What can I say, he liked my charm

 

Oh and i'm white caucasian

 

 

 

By the way, you need to tell me what happened there? I'm all for anti-ukip flyers!

[lifetime fan]

Nothing wrong with a pair of flares, I do draw the line at bell bottoms though.

 

Can't see a pair of Sambas under them.

He's wearing new balance.

[Mook]

He's wearing new balance.

 

What a sick pervert.

[lifetime fan]

What a sick pervert.

That's Lizzie for you.

[Dr Nowt]

That's Lizzie for you.

 

Guilty as charged.

[Chairman Meow]

 

Is the light bulb really close or is he just very far away?

[stringvest]

 

Is the light bulb really close or is he just very far away?

 

Big flare, big glare