If you had a super power

[Jose Jones]

Something mild like, for example, being able to shoot laser beams out of your eyes; what would you do with it?

 

Would you be a crime fighting good guy? In which case how would you find out where crimes were taking place? Also you don't have any other skills so could quite easily be killed by anyone with a gun. Would you have to martial arts yourself up? Or design some sort of inpenetrable yet lightweight body armour?

 

Or would you use your powers for evil? You could probably rob bank vaults fairly nicely with laser beam eyes, but then you'd have to know the ins and outs of the crime world fairly well to be able to get away with it and launder the cash, etc.

 

How would you stop yourself being captured and used by the government for experiments?

Would you hide your skills just for sneaky opportune moments? Wouldn't that mean missing out on the superpower groupies?

 

It seems to me like there are a fair few details that would need attention, so please explain to me if you had some sort of super power - and maybe you already do, so this will be easy - how you would overcome some of these practical issues.

[Guest davelfc]

The only power I would want would be the power to make people shit themselves. Really bad liquid diarrhea.

 

Then when out in the car and someone cut me up, dawdled along at 20, indicated right once the lights had changed or many of the other things that piss me off. Zap, they'd empty their bowels and be sitting in a sea of shit.

 

Out and about, the twat on his phone during an event I cannot mention. Watching something live on tv and there's someone I hate. In fact anyone that annoyed me. Suddenly would find their pants as full of shit as they are.

 

I'd like to be able to swap this power with projectile vomiting. Of course alcoholics would be immune to my powers.

[Jose Jones]

Interesting choice there Dave, and unless you gave the game away by shouting “Hah! I just made that twat shit his pants through my amazing super powers!” you’d probably escape detection by evil government laboratories, so perhaps a wise choice.

You seem to be totally ruling out the option of super powers leading to wealth and sex with nubile young ladies mind you. Or have you got that covered as well?

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

''Go-Go Gadget Dick''.

[Melchett]

The ability to add nothing to a conversation.

[Jose Jones]

Having a cock that doubles as a tin opener is a pretty dull super power isn’t it NN? Except at a certain type of party I suppose.

And I guess you could always make a professional career as the Great Cockendro in panto.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I'd like optional invisibility just so I could sneak around places and geg in womens changing rooms etc

 

If the government ever tried to track me I'd just go invisible. Obviously when I was invisible I wouldn't leave a heat signature either so not even the Predator himself could see me

[Guest davelfc]

Interesting choice there Dave, and unless you gave the game away by shouting “Hah! I just made that twat shit his pants through my amazing super powers!” you’d probably escape detection by evil government laboratories, so perhaps a wise choice.

You seem to be totally ruling out the option of super powers leading to wealth and sex with nubile young ladies mind you. Or have you got that covered as well?

 

Money? 10000/1 he shits himself on live tv. Sorted. Sex? What nubile young women want to have sex with the rest of the men in the room, they've either puked over themselves or shit their pants. Ah that tramp over in the corner, wasn't me.

[Remmie]

The ability to dress myself

[Uncle_Meat]

The power to cloud mens minds.

[Jose Jones]

Money? 10000/1 he shits himself on live tv. Sorted. Sex? What nubile young women want to have sex with the rest of the men in the room, they've either puked over themselves or shit their pants. Ah that tramp over in the corner, wasn't me.

 

Dave, that's pretty much genius thinking you have right there.

[Yerma'satexan!]

No heavy shit like reading peoples minds or stuff. Being able to breath underwater would be pretty sweet.

[Jose Jones]

No heavy shit like reading peoples minds or stuff. Being able to breath underwater would be pretty sweet.

 

What would you do with it though? Just a bit of swimming?

[Guest davelfc]

No heavy shit like reading peoples minds or stuff. Being able to breath underwater would be pretty sweet.

 

Of course being able to breathe through your ears would make you a huge hit with the ladies.

 

That ability to breathe underwater has long since left us.

 

I've just thought of another, the ability to be able to influence things/people. Of course some might say women have had that ability for a long time. But being able to influence anything would be amazing, sort of like the user control panel on the matrix. No need for any other power really.

[Yerma'satexan!]

What would you do with it though? Just a bit of swimming?

 

Yeah, swimming and scuba diving, albeit without the scuba equipment. You could take bets on who can hold their breath under water the longest etc. Plus you wouldn't be able to drown. Sure you could have your feet set in concrete and wrapped in chains and dumped at the bottom of the sea and be made to starve to death, but I digress.

Edited September 2, 2010 by Yerma'satexan!
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[sloth_frattelli]

Autism.

[dirty_sanchez]

I'd like to be able to manipulate time like Hiro in Heroes. That way if I saw a fit woman, I could stop time, grab her boobs and my wife would never know.

[Original202]

I'd like to be able to manipulate time like Hiro in Heroes. That way if I saw a fit woman, I could stop time, grab her boobs and my wife would never know.

 

Balls to Hiro. Bernard's Watch was well ahead of time (Excuse the pun) with time manipulation.

 

[YOUTUBE]gYJkHDwjB2k[/YOUTUBE]

 

I'd have the same power though for the same reason.

[James]

I'd like to read people's minds.

[dirty_sanchez]

I'd like to read people's minds.

 

I can already do that. Ummmmmmmmmmmm....ummmmmm...You're wondering if there will ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark.

[JangoSolo]

Gotta be flight (and yes the ability to be protected from the speed/winds/heat etc etc)