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Instant cunt identifiers

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Just now, Colonel Kurtz said:

Money is a big leveller in that regard particularly when there is an age difference as well. Rich ugly blokes with younger women tend to be cunts. They must also be bored as fuck. Young people are not very interesting. 

 

Don't ruin my dream of winning the lottery please. Its bad enough being older, poor and ugly, we've got to have something to hope for.

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Just now, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

 

Don't ruin my dream of winning the lottery please. Its bad enough being older, poor and ugly, we've got to have something to hope for.

Ha ha. Trust me on this, Young women are overrated. You’ve got to meet her parents who will probably be the same age as you so that’s going to be really awkward, she’s going to want to take you to nightclubs with her mates on a Saturday night when all you want to do is have a second bottle of wine and watch MOTD and she’s going to want to have a baby at some point so you’ve got to start all that parenting shit all over again. Plus she’s invariably going to be disappointed in your middle aged libido so your going to have to take drugs to keep up and they’ll give you a heart attack eventually. I’ve a couple of friends in their 50s who are dating women in their 30s and they’re not happy. 

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5 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Ha ha. Trust me on this, Young women are overrated. You’ve got to meet her parents who will probably be the same age as you so that’s going to be really awkward, she’s going to want to take you to nightclubs with her mates on a Saturday night when all you want to do is have a second bottle of wine and watch MOTD and she’s going to want to have a baby at some point so you’ve got to start all that parenting shit all over again. Plus she’s invariably going to be disappointed in your middle aged libido so your going to have to take drugs to keep up and they’ll give you a heart attack eventually. I’ve a couple of friends in their 50s who are dating women in their 30s and they’re not happy. 

 

They're extremely happy for 2 minutes a day though, right?

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My last missus was 8 years younger than me. Uni graduate so not dense and the first few years were brilliant. Then it all went to shit. We realised we went from thinking we had loads in common to actually very little. My missus now is a year and 3 months older than me and we get on great most of the time. Can count on both hands the amount of arguments we've had since both working from home on lockdown. Its much better for your mental health to spend the majority of your time with someone of a similar age and/or very similar interests. 

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5 minutes ago, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

 

They're extremely happy for 2 minutes a day though, right?

Is that the time they get to see their credit card?

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42 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

My last missus was 8 years younger than me. Uni graduate so not dense and the first few years were brilliant. Then it all went to shit. We realised we went from thinking we had loads in common to actually very little. My missus now is a year and 3 months older than me and we get on great most of the time. Can count on both hands the amount of arguments we've had since both working from home on lockdown. Its much better for your mental health to spend the majority of your time with someone of a similar age and/or very similar interests. 

In between my ex and my missus I had a 8 month fling with a girl 8 years younger, ex dancer so fit as fuck. Shame she was a fucking nut job.

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3 hours ago, Elite said:

Anyone that isn't Evil Knievel or an extreme sports star that does wheelies on bikes and motorbikes.

Guilty however I do keep my wheelies and other tricks for the bike parks, not down the middle of a main road on a shitty Carerra with my black North Face on.

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On 29/11/2020 at 21:18, easytoslip said:

I've seen two of those I think but why would Die Hard be an Xmas film? 

And where's Alistair Simm on that list? 

The heartwarming tale of a man estranged from his family battling through hardship to reunite with them on Christmas Day. With headshots. 

 

What could be more Christmas than that?

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On 05/02/2021 at 10:18, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Think you pay too much attention mate, grab a savoury cake covered in bbq sauce and chill.

Savoury cake? It's a fishcake you fucking wool.

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On 05/02/2021 at 09:45, Geoff Woade said:

Anyone with any association to these. Whether involved in the planning, production or purchase....

 

 

 

5D163C74-06C9-4145-B06C-F5CD9A294EBA.jpeg

I'm not sure Adidas are going to want their go-faster trainees associated with a zimmer frame.

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10 minutes ago, Anubis said:

Savoury cake? It's a fishcake you fucking wool.

It’s a fucking savoury cake on West Derby Rd as they have no fucking fish in them, hard to get proper fish cakes now, or chop suez rolls. NG’s now gone on Muirhead Ave when I was a kid. Great chippy and 2 gorgeous Chinese twins whose parents owned it.

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Fish cakes don’t have any fish in them, unless you count those shit Birdseye ones covered in breadcrumbs. They chippys had to start calling them   savoury cakes because of food regulations. Before that noncery took over chippys called them fish cakes.

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Anyone who has "buy me a coffee" on their website, I.e give me some money. It's getting disturbingly widespread, even among self employed types like Web designers etc, it's quite bizarre. Back in the 80s we called it begging and you could get arrested.

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5 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Anyone who has "buy me a coffee" on their website, I.e give me some money. It's getting disturbingly widespread, even among self employed types like Web designers etc, it's quite bizarre. Back in the 80s we called it begging and you could get arrested.

I'm tempted to put "20p for a cup of tea, mate?" in my Twitter bio.

 

(Well, I would if I wasn't banned.)

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8 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Anyone who has "buy me a coffee" on their website, I.e give me some money. It's getting disturbingly widespread, even among self employed types like Web designers etc, it's quite bizarre. Back in the 80s we called it begging and you could get arrested.

They'll only buy drugs or alcohol with it, you're better sending them a sandwich.

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12 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Anyone who has "buy me a coffee" on their website, I.e give me some money. It's getting disturbingly widespread, even among self employed types like Web designers etc, it's quite bizarre. Back in the 80s we called it begging and you could get arrested.

The digital equivalent of the last page of Private Eye  with pompous bastards thinking they are above working and that their disappearing up their own arses should be subsidised by normal people via bank fucking transfer.

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People who leave shopping trolleys on supermarket car parks instead of putting back in the little collection areas. Lazy, lazy cunts.

 

Karma should dictate that the next time they park up, an immensely forceful gust of wind blows one straight through their windscreen.

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4 minutes ago, Elite said:

People who live shopping trolleys on supermarket car parks instead of putting back in the little collection areas. Lazy, lazy cunts.

 

Karma should dictate that the next time they park up, an immensely forceful gust of wind blows one straight through their face.

 

Fixed

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Women who publicly go by a rhyme or alteration of their name. 

 

Hells bells 

Loopy Laura

Ellie welly

 

Usually these women are quite 'bubbly' too despite all of the Diet Coke they drink.

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18 minutes ago, Chris said:

Women who publicly go by a rhyme or alteration of their name. 

 

Hells bells 

Loopy Laura

Ellie welly

 

Usually these women are quite 'bubbly' too despite all of the Diet Coke they drink.

51a5713e83197.jpeg

 

 

TkG.gif

 

 

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