The world of a woman.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

My wife’s car is a mini and it has two seat in the back. My new car will have two seats in the back. 
 

We’ve just had a conversation and she’s decided we need a new car in case we need to take Izzy and 2 mates somewhere.  So now I’m buying a car for someone else’s kids.  

You’ll be the worlds most selfish dad if you don’t come back with a Hummer 

[Rico1304]

4 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

You’ll be the worlds most selfish dad if you don’t come back with a Hummer 

What she doesn’t know is I could have had 3 seats in the back of mine but decided not to add that option. 

[lifetime fan]

6 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

What she doesn’t know is I could have had 3 seats in the back of mine but decided not to add that option. 

 

Hahahahaha

[Rico1304]

7 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

 

Hahahahaha

Sshhhh

[easytoslip]

59 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

You’ll be the worlds most selfish dad if you don’t come back with a Hummer 

A Humber Snipe.

[Pete]

4 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

My wife’s car is a mini and it has two seat in the back. My new car will have two seats in the back. 
 

We’ve just had a conversation and she’s decided we need a new car in case we need to take Izzy and 2 mates somewhere.  So now I’m buying a car for someone else’s kids.  

Whatever happened to shoving a kid in the boot?  Used to do that all time when I was a kid. 

[Poor Scouser T]

Split up with my ex wife and I (mid life crisis) bought a 2 seater Z4 I've 3 kids. Ex called me a selfish bastard. Fuck you 1 at a time is cool.

[Stouffer]

When I split with the ex wife my Mam bought me an aqua green Chevrolet Lacetti as I was skint and didn't have a car.

[Poor Scouser T]

8 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

When I split with the ex wife my Mam bought me an aqua green Chevrolet Lacetti as I was skint and didn't have a car.

We too were skint at the time and apparently I miraculously pulled 15 odd grand  out of my undeclared arse to buy a stupid impractical small dick mans car. It was not my arse but under the mattress from where i pulled it. We had to do mediation and this was a big deal because every time I had he kids she had to drop them off costing her petrol. I had to contribute or get something more practical. I did. I traded it in for a 20k  3.0lt 5 series. 0-60 around 5 secs. But hey 5 seats. Lets go.

[Bob]

37 minutes ago, Poor Scouser T said:

We too were skint at the time and apparently I miraculously pulled 15 odd grand  out of my undeclared arse to buy a stupid impractical small dick mans car. It was not my arse but under the mattress from where i pulled it. We had to do mediation and this was a big deal because every time I had he kids she had to drop them off costing her petrol. I had to contribute or get something more practical. I did. I traded it in for a 20k  3.0lt 5 series. 0-60 around 5 secs. But hey 5 seats. Lets go.

With all due respect, you sound like you were being a bit of a knob to be honest.

[A Red]

3 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

With all due respect, you sound like you were being a bit of a knob to be honest.

I've repped you for the correct  spelling of knob. So often these days you see it spelt as nob.

[Poor Scouser T]

4 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

With all due respect, you sound like you were being a bit of a knob to be honest.

Maybe but I gave up my house, my business, most of my cash, the car I paid for, agreed to stay separated not file for divorce and move into a little flat.

So I bought a car. 

[Bob]

Just now, Poor Scouser T said:

Maybe but I gave up my house, my business, most of my cash, the car I paid for, agreed to stay separated not file for divorce and move into a little flat.

So I bought a car. 

I regretted saying anything to be honest, as who the fuck am I to judge and who knows what people go through. 
 

no hard feelings intended

[Poor Scouser T]

Just now, Bob Spunkmouse said:

I regretted saying anything to be honest, as who the fuck am I to judge and who knows what people go through. 
 

no hard feelings intended

None taken mate it's cool. Especially as I am a knob.

[Poor Scouser T]

Another thing Bob which maybe related to the other thread. I've never been as skint or as isolated. My lovely home and new car gone. Miss the kids and the wife but I've never been happier. My living room has guitars on the wall a big amp in the corner. A massive telly, good stereo and not an ornament in sight. Live in the gym loads of female friends and can do whatever the fuck I like. 

Separating what you want for what you need has been a game changer for me.

[VladimirIlyich]

1 minute ago, Poor Scouser T said:

Another thing Bob which maybe related to the other thread. I've never been as skint or as isolated. My lovely home and new car gone. Miss the kids and the wife but I've never been happier. My living room has guitars on the wall a big amp in the corner. A massive telly, good stereo and not an ornament in sight. Live in the gym loads of female friends and can do whatever the fuck I like. 

Separating what you want for what you need has been a game changer for me.

Apart from the fancy car(as long as its reliable and goes I am happy) it seems you have a good life. I'd miss my kids though,big time as I'm sure there would be one or two who took sides.

[Poor Scouser T]

Just now, VladimirIlyich said:

Apart from the fancy car(as long as its reliable and goes I am happy) it seems you have a good life. I'd miss my kids though,big time as I'm sure there would be one or two who took sides.

Yeah my eldest is not happy with me as it was mostly my fuck up but I'm here and available if she needs me. Big thing was the money I've saved living like a bloke Grrrrr.

No tumble dryer, dishwasher, netflix, prime, sky, vet bills, endless takeaways, etc. etc.

Gym, Steaks and Broadband are my biggest expense. 

[sir roger]

Hotel Spa. As a part of a Xmas present we got 'treatments' at a hotel.

 

She loves every minute, comes out with the girl as a new best friend and about £60 / £70 quids worth of lotions and potions.

 

I spend an hour lying on the bed desperately concentrating on not farting, getting a hard-on or sniggering when the girl starts discussing my preferences in facials.

[Section_31]

3 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Hotel Spa. As a part of a Xmas present we got 'treatments' at a hotel.

 

She loves every minute, comes out with the girl as a new best friend and about £60 / £70 quids worth of lotions and potions.

 

I spend an hour lying on the bed desperately concentrating on not farting, getting a hard-on or sniggering when the girl starts discussing my preferences in facials.

 

It's impossible not to feel like a perv at those places. Mrs got her nails done so I went for a massage and the girl was about 20, I've never been so nervous about what I did and said. 

 

"Nice music, very relaxing, oh and plants too. Great stuff."

[sir roger]

22 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

It's impossible not to feel like a perv at those places. Mrs got her nails done so I went for a massage and the girl was about 20, I've never been so nervous about what I did and said. 

 

"Nice music, very relaxing, oh and plants too. Great stuff."

 

I went down the 'silent unless asked' route with the massage girl.

 

My main issue was the actual spa pool area in which I had to feign insouciance while surrounded for an hour ( when she was in for her treatment ) by extremely attractive bunches of young / not so young ladies in swimwear posing for selfies for their various social media accounts. One attractive girl in her 30's had her barely-clad bottom that close to my eyeline for that long that I had nearly translated the coptic script on her tattoos by the time she moved.

 

 

[Bob]

I went for a Thai massage on my lunch break yesterday. 
 

Since fucking up my ankle, my leg and knee are stiff and sore a lot of the time, I think because I’m favouring it when I walk. I went swimming last Friday and can only do breast stroke because I can’t do the flipper style legs without a lot of pain, but over Sunday and Monday my legs were ridiculously bad, mainly my lateral hamstring and my knee was constant tightness and pain.

 

so I treated myself to the most physically painful experience I’ve ever spent money on.

 

the first thing “Pepsi” did was climb on my back and walk herself up and down my back and legs on her knees and elbows. Almost every second of it was painful and with every yelp she repeated “no pain no gain” in a deep Thai accent which I could’ve written phonetically but would’ve looked racist.

 

but… I feel so much better for it today. Not 100% but a million times better than Monday.

 

and I smelled amazing for the rest of the day too.

 

 

[Poor Scouser T]

Always good to hear a story with a 'happy ending'.

[Bob]

Just now, Poor Scouser T said:

Always good to hear a story with a 'happy ending'.

now now. Not that kind of place Sir.

[Bjornebye]

52 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Hotel Spa. As a part of a Xmas present we got 'treatments' at a hotel.

 

She loves every minute, comes out with the girl as a new best friend and about £60 / £70 quids worth of lotions and potions.

 

I spend an hour lying on the bed desperately concentrating on not farting, getting a hard-on or sniggering when the girl starts discussing my preferences in facials.

 

We got bought the same this xmas. Went down for the massage and the girl was a petite and very pretty blonde. I'd had sports massages before but this was another level. Lovely relaxing zen music on and she was brilliant. Barely a word spoken. They are amazing once you get over the awkwardness. 

[Section_31]

It's mad how men are judged differently to women in terms of emotional resilience in dating/rejection etc. 

 

When I'd get fucked off by a bird back in the day, which happened quite often, my default response - naturally I thought - was to give particular bird a wide birth, obviously never text them again etc (for fear of looking like a stalker and also, what's the point), but if they kept texting you and you didn't respond, or they came up to you on a night out or whatever and you were ever anything less than in performing seal mode, they'd get arsey with you. 

 

The belief seemed to be that men are 'the hunter' and being fucked off shouldn't impede him on his road to conquest, that you should take it on the chin and not be a sap. 

 

If you ever fucked a bird off though, they'd hate you forever, wish your family dead and fantasise about burning your house down. 

 

There's nothing intrinsically Teflon about a man's self esteem and psyche that make him more equipped to deal with rejection, but the expectation seems to be that there is.