What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[YorkshireRed]

49 minutes ago, The Gaul said:

The wife and kids are away this weekend, so I'm home alone eating my way through random leftovers in the fridge and freezer. So I made this fry up this morning with some tlw help. So let's start there

 

Beans - I had half a can in the fridge. I'd never thought of adding marmite or oxo to them before , no idea why as I stick marmite in all kinds. However I gave it a roll with marmite, and it was as nice as I was expecting. 

Fried bread - using the lifey method. I was always shit at fried bread till I followed his rapeseed oil and butter combo. Perfect. 

Bacon - 3 slices. Not sure what was going on with that. I think it was from my butcher, but it must have been some weird lockdown leftovers as it was much thinner than he would normally sell. It was still tasty though. 

Ulster Fry. 3 slices. Delicious. 

3 sausage - "old English" from my butcher, which are brilliant. They're very herby, like a Lincolnshire. 

Scrambled egg - the only eggs in the fridge were some crappy ones the missus had got to bake with, so I decided to make them into my scrambled eggs, flavoured up with several splashes of worcestershire sauce, butter, milk and cheese. I should eat more scrambled egg.

Fried potatoes - there was a left over baked spud in the fridge which I mashed up with some butter and cheese, added a tiny bit of paprika. 

 

All in all I was pretty happy with that considering it was made from odds and sods. But sausages are always a winner for me and the quality of them certainly made the difference. 

 

I generally approve which I know will be important to you. Looks decent quality ingredients and a solid combination. I’m no fan of scrambled eggs but I accept your explanation as to why you chose this method.

 

My only real issue and it is quite a big one I’m afraid is the direction your fried bread is pointing in. Crust should be on the outside of the plate. Appreciate this could just be me but I’d struggle to get past this if someone served it up to me. Quality of sausage or not. 

[Barrington Womble]

9 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I generally approve which I know will be important to you. Looks decent quality ingredients and a solid combination. I’m no fan of scrambled eggs but I accept your explanation as to why you chose this method.

 

My only real issue and it is quite a big one I’m afraid is the direction your fried bread is pointing in. Crust should be on the outside of the plate. Appreciate this could just be me but I’d struggle to get past this if someone served it up to me. Quality of sausage or not. 

The crust stops the beans soaking through the fried slice. 

[YorkshireRed]

2 minutes ago, The Gaul said:

The crust stops the beans soaking through the fried slice. 

Ok - the fried bread version of the Hoover Dam. In that case, congratulations on an innovative breakfast. 

[TheHowieLama]

1 hour ago, The Gaul said:

What's under the egg?

Cellophane

[Anubis]

Looks like some sort of cheese.

[YorkshireRed]

I’ve just checked the back garden to obtain an appropriate comparison. I can confirm, it’s highly likely to be a dog turd, probably from a medium sized pooch. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, The Gaul said:

What's under the egg?

Looks like a tampon, a sausage, a hash brown and a snake.

[TheHowieLama]

Want to give Baz the benefit of the doubt as he was using up some leftovers but the visual along the bottom of the plate of the beans, into scrambled egg into mashed potato is unforgiveable.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Polystyrene and cellophane, might bung you up Col.

[Bjornebye]

3 hours ago, The Gaul said:

The wife and kids are away this weekend, so I'm home alone eating my way through random leftovers in the fridge and freezer. So I made this fry up this morning with some tlw help. So let's start there

 

Beans - I had half a can in the fridge. I'd never thought of adding marmite or oxo to them before , no idea why as I stick marmite in all kinds. However I gave it a roll with marmite, and it was as nice as I was expecting. 

Fried bread - using the lifey method. I was always shit at fried bread till I followed his rapeseed oil and butter combo. Perfect. 

Bacon - 3 slices. Not sure what was going on with that. I think it was from my butcher, but it must have been some weird lockdown leftovers as it was much thinner than he would normally sell. It was still tasty though. 

Ulster Fry. 3 slices. Delicious. 

3 sausage - "old English" from my butcher, which are brilliant. They're very herby, like a Lincolnshire. 

Scrambled egg - the only eggs in the fridge were some crappy ones the missus had got to bake with, so I decided to make them into my scrambled eggs, flavoured up with several splashes of worcestershire sauce, butter, milk and cheese. I should eat more scrambled egg.

Fried potatoes - there was a left over baked spud in the fridge which I mashed up with some butter and cheese, added a tiny bit of paprika. 

 

All in all I was pretty happy with that considering it was made from odds and sods. But sausages are always a winner for me and the quality of them certainly made the difference. 

 

You’re gonna get us all banged up you stupid bastard 

[Pidge]

Gotta love a nice, evenly-cooked, banger.

[TheHowieLama]

1 minute ago, Pidge said:

Gotta love a nice, evenly-cooked, banger.

He cooked it with a soldering iron

[Remmie]

The fucking scrambled eggs are touching the bean juice. Repugnant, despicable and depraved. 

[Strontium]

Why do people call it bean juice when it's tomato sauce? Never been able to figure it out.

[Remmie]

1 minute ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

Why do people call it bean juice when it's tomato sauce? Never been able to figure it out.

Because it shouldn't be confused with a perfectly respectable condiment. 

 

Bin juice would be a better description

[Trumo]

11 minutes ago, Remmie said:

The fucking scrambled eggs are touching the bean juice. Repugnant, despicable and depraved. 

 

I'm not convinced that that's what they are.

[mattyq]

Looks great and then the beans

Rancid Aids juice polluting a perfectly sound breakfast

[Vector Sigma]

On 14/07/2020 at 14:55, lifetime fan said:

Can’t remember if it was premier inn or another hotel chain linked with a pub...

 

But they had an all you can eat breakfast with Yorkshire puddings! 

Toby Carvery breakfasts have the Yorkshire pudding option. I'll ride the bike up to Formby and report back my findings!

[Trumo]

9 hours ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Polystyrene and cellophane, might bung you up Col.

 

Maybe we have to cut him a little slack as there's an explanation for everything. He was clearly shocked when he let go of a hangover fart that sounded like the opening track from a Pan Pipe Moods CD, only to realise he'd Mooked that wine bottle.

[Curly]

We have been away for the weekend - socially distanced in an isolated cottage in Shropshire with the dog and the baby. Googled a place for brekkie and found an outdoor cafe set up, so went down and got this for £8. Proper decent scran. I ordered the smaller breakfast, so that’s on me, but I’ve been up with the baby since 6am and tried to avoid breakfast so I didn’t ruin this, but ended up eating half a sleeve of pringles and a choux bun. The epitome of health.

 

Anyway, here it is. I’d give it a 8.5 out of 10. I should have gone for large as I was still hungry, but you live and learn. Do your worst you cunts...

 

 

[Bruce Spanner]

4 minutes ago, belarus said:

We have been away for the weekend - socially distanced in an isolated cottage in Shropshire with the dog and the baby. Googled a place for brekkie and found an outdoor cafe set up, so went down and got this for £8. Proper decent scran. I ordered the smaller breakfast, so that’s on me, but I’ve been up with the baby since 6am and tried to avoid breakfast so I didn’t ruin this, but ended up eating half a sleeve of pringles and a choux bun. The epitome of health.

 

Anyway, here it is. I’d give it a 8.5 out of 10. I should have gone for large as I was still hungry, but you live and learn. Do your worst tou

 

 

I’d be doing a twelve stretch for aggregated manslaughter if I was served that up.

 

Looks like one of those ‘authentic British breakfasts’ you get in upmarket Mogadishu hotels.

[YorkshireRed]

Have you deliberately arranged the tomato’s, sausages, egg and beans to resemble the face of someone happy that beans form a solid basis for all that they are?

 

If so, kudos. 

[Tony Moanero]

16 minutes ago, belarus said:

We have been away for the weekend - socially distanced in an isolated cottage in Shropshire with the dog and the baby. Googled a place for brekkie and found an outdoor cafe set up, so went down and got this for £8. Proper decent scran. I ordered the smaller breakfast, so that’s on me, but I’ve been up with the baby since 6am and tried to avoid breakfast so I didn’t ruin this, but ended up eating half a sleeve of pringles and a choux bun. The epitome of health.

 

Anyway, here it is. I’d give it a 8.5 out of 10. I should have gone for large as I was still hungry, but you live and learn. Do your worst you cunts...

 

 

They charge £8 and don’t include black pudding? Is that a mushroom? If so, had you eaten part of it before you took the picture?

[YorkshireRed]

My thirteen year old has just enjoyed a Big Breakfast at Morrison’s. 
 

In hindsight I should have taken the picture earlier. 

[TheHowieLama]

38 minutes ago, belarus said:

We have been away for the weekend - socially distanced in an isolated cottage in Shropshire with the dog and the baby. Googled a place for brekkie and found an outdoor cafe set up, so went down and got this for £8. Proper decent scran. I ordered the smaller breakfast, so that’s on me, but I’ve been up with the baby since 6am and tried to avoid breakfast so I didn’t ruin this, but ended up eating half a sleeve of pringles and a choux bun. The epitome of health.

 

Anyway, here it is. I’d give it a 8.5 out of 10. I should have gone for large as I was still hungry, but you live and learn. Do your worst you cunts...

 

 

The egg has been Pearced.

 

Nice how they decided to allow the beans (my there are alot) touch EVERYTHING!!

 

Saville of breakfasts - you should do time as an accomplice.