self inflicted injuries.

[melons]

I'm a right clumsy arse at the best of times, but right now i have a few fingers in a bowl of ice water.. at tea tonight i only went and tried to pull out the hot oven tray without a towel or oven glove for fucks sake. My little finger hurts the most.

 

I have woman flu, i'm struggling to sleep with that and now i'll piss myself if i keep my hand in a bowl of water when i eventually do try to sleep tonight. Does that actually happen?

 

Anyway,

 

the point of the thread, please feel free to make me feel better by sharing your own self inflicted injuries, the more stupid and gruesome the better. I've been peering back at the work related one a few times this weekend. funny stuff.

[Section_31]

I'm feeling pretty much perfect at the moment to be quite honest.

[The-Sir]

I'm a right clumsy arse at the best of times, but right now i have a few fingers in a bowel of ice water.. at tea tonight i only went and tried to pull out the hot oven tray without a towel or oven glove for fucks sake. My little finger hurts the most.

 

I have woman flu, i'm struggling to sleep with that and now i'll piss myself if i keep my hand in a bowl of water when i eventually do try to sleep tonight. Does that actually happen?

 

Anyway,

 

the point of the thread, please feel free to make me feel better by sharing your own self inflicted injuries, the more stupid and gruesome the better. I've been peering back at the work related one a few times this weekend. funny stuff.

 

 

Kinky.

[elvis]

Kinky.

 

She keeps doing that , bless her.

[odris]

I once killed myself, self infliction rules.

[Antynwa]

Back when we beat one of the Russian teams 5-0 in 2003 or something, I had a bad scab at the front of my knee

 

Anyway every time we scored I jumped up and banged my knee, every time I did this my scab came off, and took more skin with it.

 

My trackie bottoms where red inside knee down and my scab had gone from being an inch big to about 5 or 6 inches.

[Acid]

You have your fingers in someones bowel? That wont stop the burning.

 

I fell off my bike ones and my head smacked against the corner of a wall, right on the corner yknow. Blood everywhere.

[melons]

I'm feeling pretty much perfect at the moment to be quite honest.

 

does wonders for me that section, could you not at least be a little hung over?

 

Kinky.

 

Fixed it, haha, every fucking time. You lot just sit and wait for me to type bowl and find the typo.

[The-Sir]

I'm a right clumsy arse at the best of times, but right now i have a few fingers in a bowel of ice water.. at tea tonight i only went and tried to pull out the hot oven tray without a towel or oven glove for fucks sake. My little finger hurts the most.

 

I have woman flu, i'm struggling to sleep with that and now i'll piss myself if i keep my hand in a bowl of water when i eventually do try to sleep tonight. Does that actually happen?

 

Anyway,

 

the point of the thread, please feel free to make me feel better by sharing your own self inflicted injuries, the more stupid and gruesome the better. I've been peering back at the work related one a few times this weekend. funny stuff.

 

If you read into it a little bit more...

[Section_31]

Apparently the summer before last when we went to Zante, some teenage lad decided to lick an exposed wire in a lampost, duly received an electric shock, broke his neck and died.

 

What a spaz.

[melons]

Im starting to like this thread. After the bowel incident.

 

 

 

One question still waiting an answer... do you piss yourself if you sleep with your hand in a bowl of water?

[odris]

I was in the flats by my old house looking out of the 6th floor window, as i turned round to leave the window swung right the way round and smashed into the corner of my eye. Needed stitches the lot, weren't allowed in the flats so had to tell my mum that i fell over and hit it on the kerb.

[She Knows It]

I'd be here all week reeling them off.

[Acid]

Ive heard its only warm water.

[Croque Monsieur]

I was cutting a loaf of bread using my left hand to hold the loaf. Unfortunately I omitted to place the fingers of said left hand out of the way of the breadknife, which resulted in me slicing deeply into my middle finger, causing much blood to flow and a loosely hanging flap of skin. I nearly fainted at the grievous loss of claret that resulted - I'm utterly nesh when it comes to things like that.

 

I've also fallen out of bed when pissed, twatting my head against my bedside cabinet and leaving a massive graze on my forehead and the bridge of my nose.

[elvis]

Im starting to like this thread. After the bowel incident.

 

 

 

One question still waiting an answer... do you piss yourself if you sleep with your hand in a bowl of water?

 

Why not try it and just let us know in the morning ?

[Charles Penrose]

I was once cooking a Sunday Dinner, whereby I was draining the boiling water from the vegables in a siv. I just so happened to be doing this directly over the sink bowl, catching the water inside the sink.

 

I then made the gravy, and poured it over the Sunday Dinner, putting slightly too much on. As I walked to the table with the plate, the gravy seeped outwards towards the edge of the plate, and began to burn my hands which were holding said plate. Rushing back to the sinks edge, I half dropped the plate on the side and my first instict was to plunge both hands, together, into the sink bowl. which I presumed was either cold or at least cold enough to wash the burning gravy off instantly. Of course within a nano second of plunging my hands in boiling water in the sink up to my wrist bone, I pulled it back out again. Burns to my hands whilst not severe was fucking painful.

[melons]

Why not try it and just let us know in the morning ?

 

Im going for this option, im shattered.

 

Everyone who i could rep was repped on the thread, everyone else i need to spread it about a bit first, sorry.

 

Many thanks, you've lightened the pain.

[Mendoza]

All this talk of women pissing themselves has given me a semi.

[elvis]

Im going for this option, im shattered.

 

Everyone who i could rep was repped on the thread, everyone else i need to spread it about a bit first, sorry.

 

Many thanks, you've lightened the pain.

 

It cant be the first time someone has pissed themself in your bed !

[Nino9]

jumping over a fence to get my footy and the bottom half of the fence to somehow snap leaving me to plumit quite far down and getting the rest of the fence into my balls.

 

and then putting the footy through my garage window, tried to tidy the glass up and slice the top of my finger open.

[JMARKH]

I've had two bike accidents, once when I was late for work so I was riding on the pavement down a hill as there was no space between the parked cars and the ones in traffic and someone came out of his front garden in front of me, so I swerved and slammed on the breaks and went over the bars but as the back of the bike came down it shattered the back window of this blokes parked car and he was fuming with me as I lay on the pavement!

On another occasion I had to sleep on my back for a while after crashing my bike into the back of a parked car when I was pissed, the bad thing was I had a plastic bag with a can in it but after carrying the messed up bike back home I saw that the can was gone and limped back to the scene of the accident and looked under the car but couldn't find it anywhere.

The most stupid thing I have ever done was on the way back from primary school when I headbutted a lamp-post proclaiming I was He man and I ended up in hospital for my troubles.

[briefs]

Just before I left the UK I managed to trap my right index finger in RL's car door while parked in Tesco's car park. Blood everywhere and then I nearly fainted in Tesco as it hurt that much. RL carried on shopping while I went to sit in the Ladies loo.

 

Then I made it worse by putting a plaster straight on it and it swelled up underneath that. Made it hurt even more. The nail promptly went totally black and came off. It's just about right now but I have a shorter than usual finger nail. Nasty.

[odris]

Aww i remember my poor nan got her finger trapped in our car door, she squealed like a wounded puppy, bless.

[Herp McDerp]

The most stupid thing I have ever done was on the way back from primary school when I headbutted a lamp-post proclaiming I was He man and I ended up in hospital for my troubles.

 

 

That deserves some serious reppage, looks like you didn't have the power after all.

 

How long were you in hospital for?