The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Champ]

Don't be like that treacle.

 

In other news, someone else who was famous in the seventies is quite old now. Take your pick.

That's why it was posted in this thread, dummy

[Mook]

Don't be like that treacle.

 

In other news, someone else who was famous in the seventies is quite old now. Take your pick.

Rick Buckler?

[General Dryness]

That's why it was posted in this thread, dummy

Yeah, but you seemed surprised that Bruce Foxton was 60. Was your surprise merely faux for comedy effect?

[Champ]

Yeah, but you seemed surprised that Bruce Foxton was 60. Was your surprise merely faux for comedy effect?

More sobering than surprising.

I still remember going to see them when I was at school.

My point was, how did I get so old?

[General Dryness]

More sobering than surprising.

I still remember going to see them when I was at school.

My point was, how did I get so old?

Comes to us all mate.

[Total Longo]

Jam rep.

 

jam rag.

[Champ]

Comes to us all mate.

You have no idea!

 

Oo, hang on, I think that's the home help at the door....

[Lee909]

You have no idea!

 

Oo, hang on, I think that's the home help at the door....

[Total Longo]

 

Well I’m drivin’ down the highway at the speed of light,

transporting meals in the middle of the night,

van drive quick, food keep hot,

old folk weep if the food be not.

 

I’m driving so fast that I’m a-breakin’ the law,

’cos I’ve gotta get a snack to Mr Michelmore,

Mr Saville’s waiting for his muesli,

and Harry Seacombe wants his pie and peas.

 

Meals on wheels,

Feeding the old folk night and day,

Meals on wheels,

Get out of my way 

 

I’ve got a little oven and a couple of pans, 

so I can heat the meat in the back of the van,

food get chilled, old folk weep,

hence the oven - do you see? 

 

Meals on wheels,

feedin’ the old folk night and day,

meals on wheels,

get out of my way. 

[manwiththestick]

Well I’m drivin’ down the highway at the speed of light,

transporting meals in the middle of the night,

van drive quick, food keep hot,

old folk weep if the food be not.

 

I’m driving so fast that I’m a-breakin’ the law,

’cos I’ve gotta get a snack to Mr Michelmore,

Mr Saville’s waiting for his muesli,

and Harry Seacombe wants his pie and peas.

 

Meals on wheels,

Feeding the old folk night and day,

Meals on wheels,

Get out of my way

 

I’ve got a little oven and a couple of pans,

so I can heat the meat in the back of the van,

food get chilled, old folk weep,

hence the oven - do you see?

 

Meals on wheels,

feedin’ the old folk night and day,

meals on wheels,

get out of my way.

Ace. Repped.

[Carvalho Diablo]

 

 

Overhead Cam
Mohair motorised wolf
L-L-L-L-Looking for lambs

Power-Assisted Steering
8-Track Stereo
Leopard Skin Upholstery
FM Radio

Kerb Crawler
White side walls with grooves
Kerb Crawler
So fast he hardly moves
Kerb Crawler
He really approves of
Your high heels clicking
Like a pair of cloven hooves

Excuse Me Lady
Are you looking for a lift?
I ain't going nowhere special
I'm just out on the drift
I'll take you anywhere you want
Drop you outside your door
I might drive us down the Autobahn
With my foot right to the floor

Fandago insect in the skyscraper shade
He's a night-city mantis
In the neon parade

Come on, come on

[chris71]

Bruce Foxton is 60 today. 60? That can't be right

 

You may be interested in this, Sky Arts 10pm Saturday night a new documentary The Story of the Jam. On before it is a live concert form 1980 and The Specials on before that. Get the cans in. 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Going to the Pilgrim pub

[Champ]

You may be interested in this, Sky Arts 10pm Saturday night a new documentary The Story of the Jam. On before it is a live concert form 1980 and The Specials on before that. Get the cans in.

 

Just about my 2 favourite bands from that time. Get in

[Rico1304]

My little girl just got in bed with us and wanted to play hairdressers. She started brushing my wife's hair then asked to do mine. She looked at her mum and said 'I'm covering the hole up mummy' the wife said don't be silly there's no hole there Izzy replied 'oh yes there is,look'

[Section_31]

Mrs said to me a while back: "it's been a while since I had to push your nose hairs back in."

[stringvest]

She's fingering you?

[General Dryness]

Just about my 2 favourite bands from that time. Get in

 

From listening to The Jam and The Specials to making jam and watching TV specials.

 

Times a bitch.

[Total Longo]

My little girl just got in bed with us and wanted to play hairdressers. She started brushing my wife's hair then asked to do mine. She looked at her mum and said 'I'm covering the hole up mummy' the wife said don't be silly there's no hole there Izzy replied 'oh yes there is,look'

 

I've read this three times now and i'm still not 100% sure what it means.

[General Dryness]

I've read this three times now and i'm still not 100% what it means.

 

Rico has a bald patch. Or his missus does, one of the two.

 

ETA : Rico, if its you mate, get it skinned. Don't go bald slowly. One hit, all off.

 

If its your missus, divorce is your only option. Or a new patio, wink wink.

[Total Longo]

Rico has a bald patch. Or his missus does, one of the two.

 

ETA : Rico, if its you mate, get it skinned. Don't go bald slowly. One hit, all off.

 

If its your missus, divorce is your only option. Or a new patio, wink wink.

 

Thank God for that.

[General Dryness]

Thank God for that.

 

Yeah, I skim read it at first, saw "little girl" "bed" "hair" and "hole" and did a double take.

 

Then I remembered Rico only abuses pensioners.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Walked passed the JMU Scholars bar last night having a few drinks with a mate "hey, looks busy, shall we try and blag our way in?" so we walk in, the security guard isn't there so we do a hard left down the corridor passed the shop and are about to walk into the main pub bit when a woman comes out who sounds like Lenny Henry doing that impression of his mother

 

"hello boys, are you here to share the good word?" 

"Sorry?"

"The word of Jesus christ, who died for us"

 

The Scholars has been shut so long that it is now apparently a place where prayer meetings are held.  She walked us out.

 

I'm just glad she stopped us in the corridor before we asked someone where the bar was. 

[Champ]

From listening to The Jam and The Specials to making jam and watching TV specials.

 

Times a bitch.

Very drole. If factually inaccurate. I've always made jam and I'm not sure what a TV Special is

[General Dryness]

Your rebuttal fails at "I've always made jam".