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Premier League Round Up (Aug 31 - Sep 1 2019)

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Brighton went to the Etihad with a bold plan to go toe to toe with Man City and conceded a goal inside the opening 90 seconds, the deadbeats. City won 4-0 without breaking sweat, which was entirely to be expected. 

 

Of course we always have to have one eye on what City are doing, but in reality games like this are not even worth worrying about. Just accept it’s going to be a five goal City win beforehand and treat anything less than that as a win. This is how it’s going to be most weeks, we just have to hope that some of the close games don’t go their way.

 

Guardiola was at his condescending best afterwards, praising Brighton’s positive approach and saying that he’s “not just a coach, he’s also a fan” and that’s what he likes to see. Yeah I’ll fucking bet it is. Nothing would suit him more than if all these star struck young managers show up at the Etihad expecting a defeat and just wanting to impress “Pep”. 

 

It wasn’t all sunshine and roses for City though, as Laporte went off with a bad injury that was sustained while committing your typical cynical Man City foul. Funny thing is, the blame is being placed on Rodri for not committing a similar foul a second earlier to prevent Laporte needing to step in. Harsh that, the poor lad has only just signed for them so he hasn’t been fully indoctrinated in the “Guardiola way” yet. This was a tough lesson for him to learn as no doubt he got a bollocking for his lack of shithousery.

 

Some are suggesting that Laporte’s injury is such a big deal that it might give us an advantage in the title race. Sorry, not buying it. These cunts did without Kevin De Bruyne for most of last season, so losing Laporte won’t phase them at all. I realise he’s their best defender but the truth is they could drag Richard Dunne out of the pub and play him back there most weeks, because half the league are too scared to attack them and the other half don’t usually get that close to City’s goal because they’ve been fouled in their own half. 

 

 

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Hey Dave. Loved your report, just a few things

 

1) I completely agree with the Vardy thing. What a player. England's best striker, and would be a massive addition to them for a major tournament, but I doubt it will happen. I also liked the fact that he stayed with Leicester when he could have gone to a "bigger" team. There's a loyalty there, or at the very least, a realization of when a team is the right fit for you. How many idiots over the years, from Bony to Wright Phillips to Drinkwater, have ruined their career by going to an ostensibly bigger team and over-estimating their abilities?

 

I also like Leicester because of Rodgers. I know people have mocked him, including, most of all, our own fans, but if he can get to the top 4 or 6 with this team, that'll prove he's one of the best managers in the league. It'll certainly prove he's better than what they've got at Arsenal, Chelsea and United anyway.

 

2) Just looked at that Man United fan video. Got to admit, I laughed, but I can see what you mean. The level of entitlement is astonishing. "We're Man United and we deserve to be at the top because of who we are". Bullshit. It's the exact same way people from all of those private schools like Eton expect to be given top jobs, and run the country, because that's the way it's always been. The level of entitlement is disgusting. It's what's destroying England at the moment, all of the bullshit caused by a jolly Etonian Jape.

 

Also, I know he says that he's a lifelong United fan, but he sounds like he's from the West Country.

 

3) Call me a pedant if you will, but there were a few grammar and spelling mistakes in the text that confused me a bit. The big one was "I mean fucking hell, their captain is scouse and they’re signing that shit". I had to read it a couple of times before realizing that you meant to say singing. I thought it was some signing on the dole reference. Maybe that says more about me, but anyway, grammar is important. It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit!

 

Anyway, keep up the good work.

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6 hours ago, buster69 said:

3) Call me a pedant if you will, but there were a few grammar and spelling mistakes in the text that confused me a bit. The big one was "I mean fucking hell, their captain is scouse and they’re signing that shit". I had to read it a couple of times before realizing that you meant to say singing. I thought it was some signing on the dole reference. Maybe that says more about me, but anyway, grammar is important. It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit!

 

Anyway, keep up the good work.

I just presumed that the lovely Wolves fans were allowing the hard of hearing to rejoice in their mantra.

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Boss report as usual dave. Yeah that old man annoyed  me to fuck. It’s still not realy sunk in yet has it that they are doomed. They still think they are a couple of transfer windows away from being back to where they where. Oh by the way coady is from Haydock and is about as scouse as sporty spice.

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