The New Cricket Thread

[Jose Jones]

1 minute ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

No need what so ever to go for big shots here. Just do the hard work by running ones and twos.

Exactly, one step at a time. See if we can get two batsmen to make double figures and then take it from there.

[Jairzinho]

1 minute ago, Colt Seavers said:

Listening to Test Match Special and apparently Jason Roy has never batted longer than 3 and half hours in an innings, not really test opener material

Well, he's batted for an hour now so it's a good start.

[mattyq]

1 hour ago, Jairzinho said:

Ducking > swaying.

Ducking you take your eye off the ball and if it doesn't get up as high as expected you'll get hit

It takes 0.4 of a second for the ball from leaving Joffra's hand to reach the batsman. That's almost literally a blink of an eye.

At that speed batsmen are going to get hit whatever they do and thank God for helmets

[Captain Howdy]

Absolute muck from Roy there

[Guest Pistonbroke]

If Australia keep offering him a bit of width he's bound to nick one to the slips. He just can't help himself wafting at wide balls. A bit of movement on the ball and he's fucked. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Fucking Warner gets another slip catch on cue, the fucking cunt. Shit batting from Burns...and here we go. 

[Rico1304]

If they’d been in the army and benefited from their coaching he’d have hit that for six. 

 

(For context a mate of mine played for his regiment for years and he is fucking shit.  Couldn’t get in our seconds). 

[Jairzinho]

Oh dear.

[Jairzinho]

It's a good ball, but a dead sloth would have moved his feet quicker.

[Captain Howdy]

All out less than 200

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Roy gone now. 15/2. Clean bowled. Surely that is the last we'll see of him at test level for quite some time. 

[Jairzinho]

Just now, Captain Howdy said:

All out less than 150

Agreed.

[Dougie Do'ins]

This thread is giving quicker updates than the BBC.

[Jairzinho]

Yes, but without the hilarious tweets.

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

This thread is giving quicker updates than the BBC.

Its on hesgoal.com mate 

 

 

Went for a shower just put it back on to see 19/2. Might get back in it. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

A wet fart has more longevity than our batsmen.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

We've already been bowled out for under a hundred 4 times under Root's captaincy, can we make it a 5th. 

[Bjornebye]

Our batsmen do know this is test cricket and not one day right? Some of the fucking shots they are going for are horrendous. Just take your bastard time. You only need to nick 359 1's. 

 

EDIT: Again just as I typed that. Thick as pig-shit. 

[Dougie Do'ins]

7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Its on hesgoal.com mate 

 

 

Went for a shower just put it back on to see 19/2. Might get back in it. 

Cheers Stig. TBH, I wasn't to arsed about watching it. More entertaining reading the updates on here. Got it on now though. 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

Cheers Stig. TBH, I wasn't to arsed about watching it. More entertaining reading the updates on here. Got it on now though. 

Sorry for ruining your day Dougie. 

[Captain Howdy]

18 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

We've already been bowled out for under a hundred 4 times under Root's captaincy, can we make it a 5th. 

A genuinely staggering stat 

[Bjornebye]

The best bit of all this is the Aussies sledging. Every ball is met with "ooorrrrr" I'm pissing myself. 

[sir roger]

Loved the tweet from one bloke at Headingley on hearing that Joe Denly's 12 was the lowest ever high score by an England test team  ' At least I'm here to see it '

[Captain Howdy]

Cummins bowling beautifully 

[Jairzinho]

Denly not quite good enough to nick some of these.