Daniel Sturridge-2015

[Jairzinho]

Remarkable how many assists he gets for someone so greedy.

[TheHowieLama]

Thats what makes him so fuckin greedy!!!

He doesn't even care if you score cuz he gets an assist and he's gonna score another one anyway.

[s(k)aturation]

The greedy assistant.  There's no worse kind of subordinate.

 

To think we spunked, what was it, 23m on that.  Kenny should be shot.

[Jairzinho]

He assists when he wants...he assists when he wants...just to spite you...he assists when he wants.

[TheHowieLama]

He doesn't even really need you - he could kick it in off the back off the keepers head if he wanted.

[s(k)aturation]

He assists when he wants...he assists when he wants...just to spite you...he assists when he wants.

 

Kim Carnes should do a song about him.

 

Luis Suarez mouth.

[Anubis]

Has JP stumbled on a lost kilo of coke tonight?

[suzy]

I still miss Suarez

[therevivalist]

That game was ample demonstration of why we shouldn't have signed Benteke: no pace, poor touch, no movement. But he did help us get rid of Rodgers.

[johnsusername]

Better than aguero?

 

They've got an identical 0.65 goals to game ratio. But Daniel has a nicer smile, that gives him the edge.

[VladimirIlyich]

So this is the first time Sturridge has pulled out of a game and not been injured, is it hard to understand he might feel wary when he feels pain after however many months out.

 

As for those talking nonsense about Sturridge being selfish when Suarez was here he was the one laying on goals for Suarez and the greedy one out of the two was Suarez.Suarez said Sturridge told him no matter what anyone said they could be successful playing up front together so making out he was jealous of Suarez or wanted to replace him in the team is nonsense.I can remember games off he top of my head where Sturridge went out of his way to make sure Suarez scored like Sunderland and Stoke away, if I was to look back at goals from that season I'm sure I could find a lot of other examples.

 

As for him not wanting to play and he's more interested in off the field things I can't buy that either, he's always said he loves everything about being a footballer like the training, match day etc etc.He does look a bit pissed off recently, considering all the stick he has got from fans for being injured which is out of his control I can understand why.

Yep,he loves all the things about a footballer apart from the football.

[BCM]

So this is the first time Sturridge has pulled out of a game and not been injured, is it hard to understand he might feel wary when he feels pain after however many months out.

 

As for those talking nonsense about Sturridge being selfish when Suarez was here he was the one laying on goals for Suarez and the greedy one out of the two was Suarez.Suarez said Sturridge told him no matter what anyone said they could be successful playing up front together so making out he was jealous of Suarez or wanted to replace him in the team is nonsense.I can remember games off he top of my head where Sturridge went out of his way to make sure Suarez scored like Sunderland and Stoke away, if I was to look back at goals from that season I'm sure I could find a lot of other examples.

 

As for him not wanting to play and he's more interested in off the field things I can't buy that either, he's always said he loves everything about being a footballer like the training, match day etc etc.He does look a bit pissed off recently, considering all the stick he has got from fans for being injured which is out of his control I can understand why.

 

 

Madder than a box of frogs you.

[magicrat]

Don't think you'd find one sentient being that would say Sturridge is better than Aguero.  

 

 

Fixed

[JermainePennant]

Yeah, the greedy shite cunt.

 

Although I do vaguely recall his having the most assists for us in 2013/14 too. No, must be my imagination.

If Suarez had a difficult chance and could give an easier one to Sturridge most times he would take the shot himself, with Sturridge it was the other way round most times.

 

At Barca it's totally different as Messi is the main man and he knows he has to have Messi on his side, at Liverpool he was the main man and was trying to do as well as possible to get his move in the summer.Sturridge was in a similar situation to Suarez now, he had to keep Suarez happy to make sure they played in a two which is probably why he was eager to assist him.

[navbasi]

If Suarez had a difficult chance and could give an easier one to Sturridge most times he would take the shot himself, with Sturridge it was the other way round most times.

 

At Barca it's totally different as Messi is the main man and he knows he has to have Messi on his side, at Liverpool he was the main man and was trying to do as well as possible to get his move in the summer.Sturridge was in a similar situation to Suarez now, he had to keep Suarez happy to make sure they played in a two which is probably why he was eager to assist him.

Hahahahahahaha! Welcome back JP.

[Hand Shandy]

If Suarez had a difficult chance and could give an easier one to Sturridge most times he would take the shot himself, with Sturridge it was the other way round most times.

 

At Barca it's totally different as Messi is the main man and he knows he has to have Messi on his side, at Liverpool he was the main man and was trying to do as well as possible to get his move in the summer.Sturridge was in a similar situation to Suarez now, he had to keep Suarez happy to make sure they played in a two which is probably why he was eager to assist him.

[LFC 6 Times]

Off the top of my head, Suarez assisted Sturridge's goals 2013/14 season against Cardiff, 2nd against Swansea against Newcastle away, goal against Bouremount in the cup, West Brom away. Suarez also did a stint on the wing while having the season of his life to accommodate Sturridge, before Brendan went for the 4-4-2 diamond.

[Torvald Utne]

The way I remember it, although as always I bow to JPs superior powers of recollection, is that sturridge went through a bad spell of not scoring when being selfish but when he started passing to Suarez space opened up and often the pass came back for him to score, he was out for a bit and came back selfish again and the goals dried up for a bit until he stopped being a selfish cunt again. I don't see him as the same player without Suarez at all and he should be booted out the door as soon as possible.

[billypilgrimnz]

If Suarez had a difficult chance and could give an easier one to Sturridge most times he would take the shot himself, with Sturridge it was the other way round most times.

 

At Barca it's totally different as Messi is the main man and he knows he has to have Messi on his side, at Liverpool he was the main man and was trying to do as well as possible to get his move in the summer.Sturridge was in a similar situation to Suarez now, he had to keep Suarez happy to make sure they played in a two which is probably why he was eager to assist him.

It's like a window into an alternate reality. Compelling.

[TheHowieLama]

Suarez bit three fellas. Three. WTF?

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Suarez bit three fellas. Three. WTF?

To be fair Sturridge held is mouth open for two of them.

[TheHowieLama]

Sturridge was standing around for two - Suarez could have bit 6 fellas if it wasn't for him. 

[Jim MM]

It is great when he can chip in with a few goals but the lack of people getting bit when he's on the pitch is the main reason I am excited to see him back in action. I love the way we don't bite anyone since Klopp took over.

[billypilgrimnz]

I think I get it; a lot of people credit Suarez more than Rodgers for the 2nd place finish, so like a loyal henchman would, JP has tasked himself with a mission: to destroy Suarez and his bloodline.

Step 1: Big up Sturridge and denigrate Suarez's contribution

Step 2: Crowbar + ankle and/or knee

Step 3: Train to become a doctor and then purposefully botch operations on Suarez's kids so that they cannot have kids of their own (even JP draws the line at the death of innocents)

Step 4: Hire lookalikes to replay the Liverpool games of 13/14 so that all the players are constantly turning to the sideline and asking "What should I do now, boss?", film it, and then seduce a lonely TV production assistant in order to gain access to the archives and swap the old footage with new.

Step 5: Have a wank.

[skend04]

JP has had a good mid-season break and come back firing on all cylinders.