Meeting new people - some serious shit please...

[morgan]

Nice to meet you, morgan.

 

Well, its just a bit, old fashioned, isnt it? A 1970s notion of 'continental' when its just full of refined sugar and milk powder. I see it on the shelves in supermarkets but never see anyone actually buying it

 

Nice to meet you too, Champ.

 

Alpen can't be old-fashioned, they sponsor shows on Dave. Sign of a quality company that. Plus it's got raisins in it. If it's got raisins in it, it must be healthy. They're nearly fruit.

[Bjornebye]

I meant fruit n fibre anyway but still......... fuck sake Cath. 

 

The anti-food. 

[jonnybastard]

It's alright Bobby son, uncle bastard's heard your cry and has returned just for you.

 

Now the underlying problem could be one of two things;

One- she's confused, she knows there's a problem but doesn't know what exactly. Everything's gone stale, there's no fun, she feels the need for drastic change or she'll go mad.

The solution here is time. Now for fucks sake don't suggest to her that it's hormonal bloody woman bollocks; she'll fucking kill you. You must gently suggest that she wait a week and then if she still feels like it's the end of the fucking world that go out and graft like a motherfucker for her and the little one, you'll talk the arse off it then. I'm confident she'll forget all about it. For a month anyway, then you'll go through it all again.

 

Possibility two- it's not the monthly madness, it's a lack of variety. She's shagged what few friends you have and is gagging for some new ones. Here I can help. If she fancies a solid sixteen stone mahogany love machine then tough shit. If she'll make do with a fat bloke that'll get it over and done in double quick time- post some pics and I'll see what I can do.

 

Now, the "I'm Billy no mates" issue.

If you've tired of your role as lone psycho (no need to answer, don't let these fuckers think you're weak) and you genuinely feel the need to make new friends, then I suggest you take up drug dealing. You'll soon have more friends than you know what to do with. Genuine friends who'll ring anytime, day or night, to ask you "how's it going?". Friends who'll do anything you ask; get you a wide screen plasma, suck you off, even shag your missus if that's what's needed. And, as long as you sample your wares on a regular basis- you will be happy, truly, genuinely happy.

[VladimirIlyich]

Nice to meet you, morgan.

 

Well, its just a bit, old fashioned, isnt it? A 1970s notion of 'continental' when its just full of refined sugar and milk powder. I see it on the shelves in supermarkets but never see anyone actually buying it

Used to love Alpen as a kid until digestive health problems put a stop to it.

I think it was just the currants rather than the bird cage faeces that i liked though.

[JohnnyH]

Is there anything to be said for having another Mass?

[SlugTrail]

I want to win her back, and don't give a shot about life after divorce to be blunt.

 

She wants me to be in a better position to cope with life after divorce if it comes to it, no doubt. I think she's willing to try to make this work and I think she'd be upset to see it fail, but she's far more comfortable with it that I would have expected and I wonder whether her mind/view can be changed.

If you have dedicated your life to work, and on the weekends you take your daughter out, to her she might feel like she is already divorced, listen to what champ and paul are saying, slow steady steps, but ones that will mean things to her.

 

if she doesn't work it can be very hard to be a stay at home mum, especially if you don't have a big friend network around. being mummy is great but they need to be themselves aswell.

[Bob]

Cheers bert; she works, but much of your point remains valid.

[Nunavut Patrick]

It's her birthday soon so get down to the supermarket and get some Alpen for her breakfast.

 

Alpen rules except that it just kind sits in your gut for a few hours and not a happy sit like oatmeal, just a 'i know i am going to need to do a vicious poo soon' type of gut sit.

 

Used to love Weetabix, two or three of those with brown sugar and a strong coffee at 7am equaled unbridled energy for a good three hours.

[jonnybastard]

Having looked at the topic a bit deeper, and not just waded through the muesli, it would seem my advice came too late.

It's no consolation, but I've been where you are and I've been where you're going. You're going to spend some time in the world of complan and valium. Can't eat, can't sleep. Your whole world; everything you know and feel, every laugh, smile and memory, your very heart and soul; is going to be taken from you. Your wife has decided. She'll drag it out because she knows it'll hurt you, but sooner or later she'll organise herself and walk out the door.

 

The best advice I was given, which like you I thought was bollocks (but with hindsight and all that), is when she walks out the door, shut it behind her. That life is gone and can't be brought back. That bit of hope you cling to isn't what keeps you going; it's what keeps you back. When you know it's over, and if you're at the part where you cry and plead and lose all dignity (there's no shame, it's what happens), then deep down you know it's over, make it over and done as quickly as possible. It doesn't matter if you go through the whole process in a daze, just get it done. Because that's when you will be re born. There's no epipheny, just pain and tears and before you know it, a whole new life.

From experience, not just mine, but everyone I know that's been through it; I can say with absolutely certainty that in two years your life will be infinitely better than anything you thought you had before.

You're new woman will arrive from nowhere shortly after you stop looking. She will be kind and beautiful and everything you deserve, because you don't deserve the shit you've got now.

[Champ]

Read your PMs, Bob

[Captain Turdseye]

Now we know why Jonny's a bastard.

[PestiRed]

Whilst the bastard talks some truth about moving on from a dead relationship, there's nothing in what Bob has said that confirms he's in a dead relationship. Walking away at this point would just invoke a lifetime of regret. Try first, and if it can't be saved, come back to some of the stuff that Jonny has said

[jonnybastard]

Whilst the bastard talks some truth about moving on from a dead relationship, there's nothing in what Bob has said that confirms he's in a dead relationship. Walking away at this point would just invoke a lifetime of regret. Try first, and if it can't be saved, come back to some of the stuff that Jonny has said

Whooaa lad, I never said he should walk, a man who walks away from his family is less than a man. I agree he should stay and fight and work to save what he has. BUT, if despite his obvious love and devotion, despite his efforts above and beyond, SHE decides his best is not enough, and in a mockery of him as a man and provider, SHE walks out on him; perhaps he should consider stoving her head with a shovel as full and final settlement.

[Bob]

I'll keep your words on file mr bastard, but for now that file is closed and locked away in the cabinet.

[PestiRed]

Ok, but when I recommended coming back to Jonny in the worst case scenario, it didn't include anything to do with shovels

[TheHowieLama]

I believe "efforts above and beyond" is a point of contention amongst the Spunkmice.

[Bob]

It's not going to need above and beyond; it's going to need the right things to the right levels.

 

I'll know if I've met the right levels by the outcome. If I don't meet them it'll be because I didn't do enough, not because she wanted too much.

 

Like many things; if I'd kept on top of everything it'd be easy to stay on top. Once I let it get away from me it'll be a tonne more effort to get back on top of it.

[Paul]

This is possibly the greatest thing. See you soon brother.

Yep. Tom Ross: massive ego/personality in direct proportion to his massive heart.

[TheHowieLama]

He has teeny little feet right Paul?

[Paul]

He has teeny little feet right Paul?

Yes. But his cock is serpentine.

[Bob]

Those who've mentioned or suggested couples/relationship counselling: are there any recommendations for where best to go for this from experience?

 

Not a great weekend.

 

Thanks.

[dickie mint]

Those who've mentioned or suggested couples/relationship counselling: are there any recommendations for where best to go for this from experience?

Not a great weekend.

Thanks.

 

Wetherspoons.

[PestiRed]

Those who've mentioned or suggested couples/relationship counselling: are there any recommendations for where best to go for this from experience?

 

Not a great weekend.

 

Thanks.

 

Sorry to hear that. Had a friend who told me that Relate really helped him. But I think that much of it comes down to the counsellor that you get and whether he/she is compatible with you. I had a counsellor when I was a kid(for something different, obviously) and I met with 3 before I found someone that was right for me. So might be worth trying a few to make sure you're both comfortable

 

Good luck

 

[Rico1304]

Sorry to hear that. Had a friend who told me that Relate really helped him. But I think that much of it comes down to the counsellor that you get and whether he/she is compatible with you. I had a counsellor when I was a kid(for something different, obviously) and I met with 3 before I found someone that was right for me. So might be worth trying a few to make sure you're both comfortable

 

Good luck

Is your name Kevin?

[PestiRed]

Is your name Kevin?

?