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jonnybastard

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About jonnybastard

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    6 skin rollin mummyfucker

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  1. jonnybastard

    Off to that there London

    You are right, shithole is the wrong word. I just can't think of a word that sums up a place that is never quiet, never still, where I cannot find solitude or enjoy the peace it brings. If I'm honest I'd say my biggest problem with London is me, and my unwillingness to become the sort of person that can thrive in that environment. So it's a shithole.
  2. jonnybastard

    Off to that there London

    I've been working in that London for 3 months and do you know what I love about the place? Fuck all that's what. It's a bastard shithole. The beer is a fiver a go, A FUCKING FIVER, no wonder every cunt drinks meths. The company gives me £40 a day to live on and I haven't managed to skim a fucking bean off it. You can't pay cash on the bus, as if I'm going to pay my bus fare with plastic like some fucking student. The shitty chippies don't do gravy, they leave the skin on the fish, and you're lucky to get change from a tenner. You can't drink the tap water which I swear has a yellow tinge to it. On the plus side I haven't been stabbed up yet.
  3. jonnybastard

    Winter coats and jackets

    Check out Arc'teryx.
  4. jonnybastard

    Any suffer with lower back problems?

    Years of it. It can strike anywhere between my arse and my head and it's fucking crippling. I can't offer any advice I'm afraid. If I can get hold of some tramadol it takes the edge off, and if I take enough I'm still in pain but no longer give a fuck. Mostly the only thing I take is pain.
  5. jonnybastard

    Meeting new people - some serious shit please...

    Jesus fucking Christ Bob, I'm sorry to bump an old thread but I've been absent, but I've checked in and I read this!!?? Relate? Counselling? Have you not listened to a word I've said? You'll never move on with you life until you SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR. It's over, now get it finished and consigned to history. You're rapidly approaching the half way point of useful life (it can be dragged on longer, but you'll need your arse wiping for you). She's nothing more than memory that looks after your daughter.
  6. jonnybastard

    little things that annoy the shit out of you

    I've got to ask; how the fuck do you spend 80 quid on a pizza???!!
  7. jonnybastard

    Meeting new people - some serious shit please...

    Imagine stig, a world where all you need is love. I know it's so hard. You're crippled inside, how do you sleep? How? Hold my hand, stig, and together we'll cure you of being a cunt.
  8. jonnybastard

    Meeting new people - some serious shit please...

    I have re paid your hate with love, stig. As you can see I am un armed and pose no threat, yet I stand firm against the tyrants and oppressors. Think of me as ghandi (without the eating disorder) or Mandela, whilst your actions represent all that is wrong in the world.
  9. jonnybastard

    Meeting new people - some serious shit please...

    Not only is that harsh it is tenuous to say the least, and you've jumped on the thinnest of thin ice. As far as I can see no mention was made of that which much not be mentioned. It was left to the reader to establish any link in their head, away from the gf. Now tell us all why you negged him, and screamed for back up, without breaking the rule yourself.
  10. jonnybastard

    Why are people so snobby about music tastes?

    I suppose it's a bit like appreciating wine or beer, people have different tastes. I'm sure wine snobs would look down their nose at me for drinking cheapo sweet tasting wine straight from the bottle. It doesn't bother me because by the time I've finished it I'd fight every one of the stuck up cunts. When I met the wife she had no taste in music and needed educating. I have a theory that if you listen to something long enough you will eventually come to appreciate it. I started her off with the stone roses which she got into quite easily. Public Enemy took a bit longer. I'm currently beating Rage Against the Machine into her which she seems a little more resistant to. Of course the first mention of Coldplay blew my theory right out the water.
  11. jonnybastard

    little things that annoy the shit out of you

    I was going to take the wife out for her tea this weekend, so she's been showing me some menus. They are possibly the single most annoying thing I have ever seen. Some examples from just one. Firstly; starters, we all know what that means. So why the fuck do you call it 'beginning'? Because you're a cunt is why. Main, or main course was renamed 'middle', I was tempted to go just so I could kick the tits off someone. 'oven roasted', if it's spit roasted you can say so (probably best you do in fact), roasted on an open fire; let me know. You use an oven??? Well fuck me. And one of my personal favourites 'pulled pork'. I'm sorry, but that just says you lack a basic man skill; you can't carve, so you've either picked at the meat with your shitty fingers, or bought some processed donkey from an east European. And don't even get me started on fucking 'beer battered' and 'sea bass'. We're going to the chippy.
  12. jonnybastard

    Meeting new people - some serious shit please...

    And if you get some peanut butter it will lick your balls too.
  13. jonnybastard

    Ian Paisley dead

    A man of god, a politician, enjoyed 'celebrity' status and rose to prominence in the 1970's. Ticks all the boxes. Nailed on for the retrospective sex offenders register.
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