*Shakes head* Everton again.

[Redder Lurtz]

 

Last week, whilst playing FIFA online, I played Everton against some German lads Hoffenheim who included that new Brazilian lad the shite recently signed. I spent the entire game kicking the shit out of Filimino or whatever his name is, getting two players sent off in the bargain. I won two nil though and got a nasty message from the German lid.

 

I'm 42.

 

Truly amazing.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

My hatred of the RS almost killed me tonight

 

Posted by GeoffLamp

 

In the La fitness in barnet earlier on the treadmill sporting an Everton top from a few years back (Nike, white bits on the sleeves, Steven naismith, the shit years) anyway a lad got on the one right next to me in a RS top, and he started going faster than me, so I upped mine to get back in front, only for him to up his pace, so I did the same. Suddenly in my head am playing up front for us at the tinmine and a ball is played over the top, am in a foot race with this cunt to get there first, I can't slow down until he does.... Nearly killed myself.

 

Am 33.

We're all enjoying the memories Peter

In fairness, I can almost relate to that.  I'm not motivated by hatred (that'd be worrying, rather than just a bit silly) but if I was in another city and someone in an Everton shirt was on the next treadmill, I'd feel an urge to run him into the ground.

 

It's a bit like, years ago, when I got my nuts nipped.  I was a bit nervous, obviously, but when I saw some nobhead in a Tim Cahill T-shirt had fainted, like some lightweight Southern belle with an attack of the vapours, I was striding in there, kecks round my ankles shouting "Gimme the shears, I'll do it myself!"

[Paulie Dangerously]

 

Shame he didn't show so much support for Ossie on his testimonial

[Jairzinho]

 

Shame he didn't show so much support for Ossie on his testimonial

 

That's actually a picture of their new stand.

[an tha]

That's actually a picture of their new stand.

No, no wood in it.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

No, no wood in it.

And the view is more exciting.

[Harry Squatter]

Some of the people buried in there probably are more mobile than Arouna Kone, Alcaraz and Tony Hibbert.

[Trumo]

 

Shame he didn't show so much support for Ossie on his testimonial

 

Nil Satis Bus Wanker Ossie 21.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Blue "I see knob Gary Mac is now on your backroom team"

Me "Yup"

Blue "Still...better than someone from Doncaster isn't it? Haha what's that all about"

Me "Yeah, Gary is fondly remembered for that free kick he scored at Goo...."

Blue "You mean the one which wasn't a free kick and then he moved it forward about 20 yards and the keeper slipped and let it in?"

Me "Yeah, that's the one"

 

It still hurts it seems.

[Russ Atmosphere]

Blue "I see knob Gary Mac is now on your backroom team"

Me "Yup"

Blue "Still...better than someone from Doncaster isn't it? Haha what's that all about"

Me "Yeah, Gary is fondly remembered for that free kick he scored at Goo...."

Blue "You mean the one which wasn't a free kick and then he moved it forward about 20 yards and the keeper slipped and let it in?"

Me "Yeah, that's the one"

 

It still hurts it seems.

Like the ex Doncaster Rovers striker and current Everton assistant manager Graeme Jones?

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

Like the ex Doncaster Rovers striker and current Everton assistant manager Graeme Jones?

Yeah, but Everton aren't they?.

[Sugar Ape]

If ever proof were needed the Echo just needs binning off. Christ.

 

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/everton-should-explore-arda-turan-9612758

 

Why Everton should explore Arda Turan loan bid

 

Roberto Martinez wants to add creativity to Everton’s midfield.

 

The Blues boss is looking to inject some guile, craft and cunning to a side that struggled to break down defences last season.

 

But it's time Martinez, as he promised to do, adds those same qualities to his transfer dealings too.

 

“We have two options, one is to look at the finances and where we are in that league and achieve that but nothing higher,” he said in April.

 

“The other is to be creative and find a way to reflect what is in our DNA at the football club and work really, really hard to find a way to challenge with the best projects in the league and the best budgets in the league.”

 

Which brings us onto Arda Turan.

 

Yes, that Arda Turn.

 

The same gifted and gritty Turkish playmaker who has just signed a £24m deal with Spanish giants Barcelona.

 

Turan reportedly dismissed the advances of Chelsea and Arsenal to move across Spain but could he be tempted to England on a short-term deal?

 

He has, today, suggested he is ready to just train with Barcelona for two months, saying: I will train until I can make my debut in January and I will help the team win every possible trophy.”

 

But surely competitive football - rather than training all week and then sitting in the stands - is a better option?

 

Everton should try and find out.

 

The 28-year-old can’t play for Barca until January when the Catalans' transfer ban is lifted and it has been suggested that the Champions League winners could look to loan out Turan for the first five months of the season to ensure he maintains his match sharpness.

 

Galatasaray, his former club, were quickly touted as a possible destination for Turan but what about Everton?

 

Seriously.

 

Why shouldn’t Everton be on the phone to Barcelona, a club they already have lines of communication with, and be asking about the availability of Turan for the first half of the season?

 

Turan won’t be allowed to play in European competition for another club because he would be cup tied, so what’s stopping Everton making an approach?

 

Martinez has never been shy of exploring the full possibilities of the loan market and will do so again before the summer is out.

 

However implausible it may seem to some and however unlikely it could appear, surely Turan has to be a target.

 

Of course, Turan might dismiss it out of hand.

 

Barca may offer a swift and polite ‘No gracias’ but surely the Blues can at least explore the possibility?

 

People laughed in disbelief when Samuel Eto’o arrived at Finch Farm, didn’t they, so maybe targeting Turan isn’t such a pie in the sky idea after all.

 

Don't ask - don't get.

[Bjornebye]

Hahahahaha and I bet the little boards on county road all have the headline 'blues Barca Turan swoop!' And they all have jizz on them.

[Paulie Dangerously]

He turned the red shite down probably

[Barrington Womble]

They are so easy to wind up too and fly off the handle even when it's obvious you are taking the piss. They should make Bitter baiting a national sport

It's a bit like your winding up your bird though, it's so easy it's not even sport.

[Harry Squatter]

I posted this ages ago but when I went on a footy team tour to Madrid we did a tour of Real Madrids trophy room and ground.

 

My mate just starts taking the piss saying "oh Real Madrid have only got 3 European Cups as the old ones were all won when every game was 7-3 and no one was arsed taking it seriously. See" he then said we've got 5 proper large European Cups and they've only got 3 so we've won more".

 

This Evertonian in our footy team just goes ballistic shouting at the top of his head in a packed trophy room "FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING THICK TWAT, THEYVE FUCKING WON NINE YOU STUPID FUCKING BASTATRD FUCK OFF. YOURE A TYPICAL KNOW NOTHING KOPITE FUCKING FUCK OFF YOU TWAT!".

 

A load of Spanish school kids just stopped and looked terrified of a grown man getting into a murderous rage over footy.

[Harry Squatter]

Hahahahaha and I bet the little boards on county road all have the headline 'blues Barca Turan swoop!' And they all have jizz on them.

The hairs in his beard will stand up once he hears Z cars in the tunnel at his first home game.

[Harry Squatter]

Oh we went to a bullfight and they have six bullfights in total. We decided to get off after the first three Bulls were killed and I said "I can't see the Bulls coming back to 3-3 like us in Istanbul". The Evertonian then goes off hi head again "FUCK OFF, JUST FUCK OFF, THATS ALL YOUSE EVER FUCKING GO ON ABOUT, IM FUCKING SICK OF FUCKING HEARING ABOUT THAT, FUCKING TWATS, ALL OF YOUSE SAY YOU WERE THERE AND YOU WERE ALL WATCHING IT IN THE FUCKING PUB".

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Martinez has got DNA Tourettes, hasn't he.  He just can't help himself.

 

"What would you like for tea, dear?"

"Fish DNA fingers, please Mum."

[Trumo]

Bull Satis Nisi Matador.

[Bjornebye]

Nel Sastador Nisto Opimano

[Bjornebye]

Fuck knows what i was aimin for then

[Bjornebye]

[Guest davelfc]

Oh we went to a bullfight and they have six bullfights in total. We decided to get off after the first three Bulls were killed and I said "I can't see the Bulls coming back to 3-3 like us in Istanbul". The Evertonian then goes off hi head again "FUCK OFF, JUST FUCK OFF, THATS ALL YOUSE EVER FUCKING GO ON ABOUT, IM FUCKING SICK OF FUCKING HEARING ABOUT THAT, FUCKING TWATS, ALL OF YOUSE SAY YOU WERE THERE AND YOU WERE ALL WATCHING IT IN THE FUCKING PUB".

 

Sounds like a character from the Viz, "Bluenose Matt, the bitter twat" There he is head shaved, about 50, fat and in a taxi. Dressed in blue hat, blue shirt with "Ferguson' on the back and a blue and white rattle. Any passenger gets in and mentions any tenuous link with us and he's off on one and the poor passenger ends up beaten and on the side of the road. 

 

Some woman gets in the taxi, "Hello, can you take me to a local cleaners in Liverpool, I have this red shirt I need..."

"Aaaaaargh, red shite, fucking Collina, meeerdering shites, aaaarrgghhhh, Telly clapping, 'thump' redshite, bastards 'thump'

[Barrington Womble]

Sounds like a character from the Viz, "Bluenose Matt, the bitter twat" There he is head shaved, about 50, fat and in a taxi. Dressed in blue hat, blue shirt with "Ferguson' on the back and a blue and white rattle. Any passenger gets in and mentions any tenuous link with us and he's off on one and the poor passenger ends up beaten and on the side of the road. 

 

Some woman gets in the taxi, "Hello, can you take me to a local cleaners in Liverpool, I have this red shirt I need..."

"Aaaaaargh, red shite, fucking Collina, meeerdering shites, aaaarrgghhhh, Telly clapping, 'thump' redshite, bastards 'thump'

shame the fanzine is over, you could have had yourself a job there.