Stupid REALLY annoying things co-commentators/analysts say.

[The Chief]

Watching some of the England game before Andy Townsend said when Carlton Cole went through, "he found himself in front of the goals"! So that's why he missed that sitter he had double fucking vision.

This term really pisses me off it's becoming one of those stupid 'buzz words', that the gobshites use, I've never noticed Townsend saying it before, so does he think it makes him sound like a football intellectual?

The first person I can recall saying goals instead of goal was Jack Charlton, and put it down to him being a fucking idiot, but more and more are using it.

 

It's a fucking GOAL, not a GOALS, you annoying cunts.

 

Anyone else got some?

[Guest]

Watching some of the England game before Andy Townsend said when Carlton Cole went through, "he found himself in front of the goals"! So that's why he missed that sitter he had double fucking vision.

This term really pisses me off it's becoming one of those stupid 'buzz words', that the gobshites use, I've never noticed Townsend saying it before, so does he think it makes him sound like a football intellectual?

The first person I can recall saying goals instead of goal was Jack Charlton, and put it down to him being a fucking idiot, but more and more are using it.

 

It's a fucking GOAL, not a GOALS, you annoying cunts.

 

Anyone else got some?

 

Any fucking commentator who either

 

a) calls the game over before it is or

b) starts going on like they saw it all coming before it did

 

Sorry I couldn't provide specifics.

[Liverpool lad]

Most the stuff Jamie Redknapp comes out with, little or no insight from that useless bastard

[torahboy]

"Game over! And I really don't enjoy saying that".

[The Chief]

Any fucking commentator who either

 

a) calls the game over before it is or

b) starts going on like they saw it all coming before it did

 

Sorry I couldn't provide specifics.

 

Funniest example I ever saw (or heard) of both of these was Archie Mcpherson, if you don't know him he was a truly awful Scottish commentator who ended up on Eurosport, where I was watching a game between Chile (I think) and Argentina, it was an abysmal game really shite, Chile were winning 1-0 and Argentina were playing shite, Archie slammed the Argies something ruthless, clearly gloating that Chile were winning, it may be the worst I've ever heard a commentator rip one team, he was in the middle of slating them when they equalised and he said "OH Argentina have score, I TOLD you what a great team they are, I TOLD you you can't write Argentina off".

I had to turn the TV over after that I couldn't take any more, but it was hilarious the way he backtracked so quickly after saying the Argies were beaten and out of it.

[robslappa]

Funniest example I ever saw (or heard) of both of these was Archie Mcpherson, if you don't know him he was a truly awful Scottish commentator who ended up on Eurosport, where I was watching a game between Chile (I think) and Argentina, it was an abysmal game really shite, Chile were winning 1-0 and Argentina were playing shite, Archie slammed the Argies something ruthless, clearly gloating that Chile were winning, it may be the worst I've ever heard a commentator rip one team, he was in the middle of slating them when they equalised and he said "OH Argentina have score, I TOLD you what a great team they are, I TOLD you you can't write Argentina off".

I had to turn the TV over after that I couldn't take any more, but it was hilarious the way he backtracked so quickly after saying the Argies were beaten and out of it.

 

Up until the collapse of Setanta he was doing commentary on Rangers TV and he hadn't improved over the years.

[The Chief]

Up until the collapse of Setanta he was doing commentary on Rangers TV and he hadn't improved over the years.

 

Fucking hell, I thought he was dead!!!

[chris71]

He's a great touch for a big man. Also, this could be England's World Cup.Twaddle.

[Guest]

Archie McPherson, I never heard him say anything too ridiculous, but he still made me laugh every time I heard him.

[Dan Vito Corleone]

"It's like 1999 all over again."

[robslappa]

Fucking hell, I thought he was dead!!!

 

Hahaha. So did I until I got Setanta.

[Guest]

I hate that Ian Crocker wanker.

 

And.

That.

Is.

Fan.

Tas.

Tic.

From.

Cel.

Tic.

[jamespp]

"The Liverpools & Manchester Uniteds of this world"

[Soup]

Paul Scholes can't tackle (said with slight chuckle)

[ElNino_9_TheKid]

When Andy Gray says that two players just had a conversation in the middle of the game. For example, i think it was blackburn vs chelsea a couple of years ago, Petr Cech had just made a good save which andy and martin taylor both waxed lyrical about, the chelsea went up the other end and forced a better save from Brad Friedel, so Andy Gray says "Brad Friedel just said not bad petr, but i can do better, to his opposite number."

 

Also when they say that the goalkeeper "made himself big". It's something that they all say, but it really pisses me off, what did he do, eat a few pies when he saw the striker coming?

[Mac4]

When Andy Gray says that two players just had a conversation in the middle of the game. For example, i think it was blackburn vs chelsea a couple of years ago, Petr Cech had just made a good save which andy and martin taylor both waxed lyrical about, the chelsea went up the other end and forced a better save from Brad Friedel, so Andy Gray says "Brad Friedel just said not bad petr, but i can do better, to his opposite number."

 

Also when they say that the goalkeeper "made himself big". It's something that they all say, but it really pisses me off, what did he do, eat a few pies when he saw the striker coming?

 

 

 

when faced with a handsome baby faced striker like torres it refers to the keeper having an erection

[Cumbernauld_Red]

any time clive fucking tyldesley is commentating when shrek gets the ball in front of goal - "rooooooooooonnnnnneeeeeyyyyyyyyy." it sounds like he has his cock in his hand when he says it

 

Aaaarrrrggghhhhhhh :wallbutt:

[Steve Holt]

When Andy Gray says that two players just had a conversation in the middle of the game. For example, i think it was blackburn vs chelsea a couple of years ago, Petr Cech had just made a good save which andy and martin taylor both waxed lyrical about, the chelsea went up the other end and forced a better save from Brad Friedel, so Andy Gray says "Brad Friedel just said not bad petr, but i can do better, to his opposite number."

 

Thats a shout.

 

He comes out with that shit all the time. Especially when Rooney and Ronaldo would link up.

 

"Wayne Rooney saw his mate in the box and said "here you go son, put that in the net." and Ronaldo said "Thanks mate, I think I will.""

 

Such a massive fuckwit.

[Guest]

I also cringe when he talks about mates.

 

They all hate each other really.

[Steve Holt]

Except Torres and Gerrard, as shown in your avatar.

[sir roger]

Tyldesley said today that Rooney was not going to score if the game went on until Xmas.

 

How many games go on for 3 and a half months ?

[Crazyhorse7778]

"At least with man to man you know who is picking up who"

 

"Scored too early"

 

"This would be a great time to score"

 

"If that was on target, it would've been in/a foot either side of the 'keeper and he scores"

 

"This is *insert regular freekick takers name* territory"

 

"Cultured/Educated left foot" - Just find it weird that they never describe right footed players that way.

 

"and that's why they're champions"

 

"This game needs a goal"

 

"Outside the box and that's a penalty!"

[Steve Holt]

Tyldesley said today that Rooney was not going to score if the game went on until Xmas.

 

How many games go on for 3 and a half months ?

 

Tyldesley said that? Where were you watching it?

[Guest]

Peter Drury was commentating.

 

I wasn't really listening but I'm sure he used about 100 useless metaphores that should have alerted you to his presence.

[Thomo123]

Did anybody hear townsend banging on about when defore was gonna get a start? He was on about it then asked if we had to be 'down' before he got a chance (as in start). The man is an absolute idiot.