Monogamy - An outdated concept?

[Mr Moustache]

2006 has led me to agree with the above statement to a large extent.

 

People who I'd never dreamed of being unfaithful have had or are having affairs, the behaviour of married women when out 'with the girls' at the pub I worked on and also around town in general has shocked me (e.g. snogging & groping young lads left right and centre and in one case getting fingered against the fruity when the pub was full!) and once faithful lads I know are knocking off young birds at an alarming rate. All the cheating bastards I know are at it like never before and the slappers have got them queuing up. Arl fellas seems to have turned into Glitter an all. Cracking onto birds 40 years younger than them

 

What is happening? It's like fucking Sodom and Gomorrah!

[Stouffer]

I can't ever see myself being unfaithfull.

[rargh]

I wouldn't say that monogamy is becoming an outdated concept, but the casual rise of infidelity seems to be a sign of the times. To me it seems is if we are currently living in an age of 'get rich quick' culture and instant gratification, sod the consequences.

Hungry? Get a ton of McDonald's shite down yer neck. (How many more fat bastards do you see these days?) Pissed all of your wages up against the wall? Get a credit card. Fucked up on your credit cards and ran up huge debts? Call one of those numbers during Trisha/Jeremy Kyle. Honeymoon novelty period worn off in your relationship? Go and fuck someone else.

 

Maximum gain with minimum effort seems to be the norm these days. It's all "ME! ME! NOW!!"

 

Incidentally, back in the day, many of the women I had one-nighters with were either married or in relationships. That was one of the things that used to put me off wanting a full-time girlfriend back then.

[Hermes]

I don't think it's outdated at all. I quite like New Year's Eve.

[rargh]

I don't think it's outdated either. I quite like old, dark, wooden furniture.

[melons]

Bump,

 

Following on from the thread on the *f about some sad act ****ball player.

 

Some of the posts are regarding the fact he cheated with a team mate's missus, what makes that any different to him cheating with someone he could of met at the local?

 

At the end of the day he's still caused harm on those he should of loved and cared for?

[George Costanza]

i was unfaithful recently. it was well worth it though and to be fair we'd already sgrred our 'relationship' was serious. she now knows about my indiscretions and we are now more serious. in fact i bummed her on a health weekend recently. she's lovely

[manwiththestick]

i was unfaithful recently. it was well worth it though and to be fair we'd already sgrred our 'relationship' was serious. she now knows about my indiscretions and we are now more serious. in fact i bummed her on a health weekend recently. she's lovely

 

Hello John.

[George Costanza]

Hello John.

 

no its george and you won't make that mistake again

[melons]

i was unfaithful recently. it was well worth it though and to be fair we'd already sgrred our 'relationship' was serious. she now knows about my indiscretions and we are now more serious. in fact i bummed her on a health weekend recently. she's lovely

 

haha, she's pissing in your apple juice, snotting in your cereal and using your tooth brush to clean the toilet.

 

Enjoy. x

[George Costanza]

haha, she's pissing in your apple juice, snotting in your cereal and using your tooth brush to clean the toilet.

 

Enjoy. x

 

i will

 

all in the past and as i said we weren't 'properly' togther at the time. At present things are going really well by the way.

[stringvest]

i will

 

all in the past and as i said we weren't 'properly' togther at the time. At present things are going really well by the way.

 

that's not what she told me in the bath

[RoboRiise]

Bump,

 

Following on from the thread on the *f about some sad act ****ball player.

 

Some of the posts are regarding the fact he cheated with a team mate's missus, what makes that any different to him cheating with someone he could of met at the local?

 

At the end of the day he's still caused harm on those he should of loved and cared for?

 

 

It breaches two trusts rather than one. I'm not saying either is especially praiseworthy though.

[melons]

It breaches two trusts rather than one. I'm not saying either is especially praiseworthy though.

 

I appreciate that, I hope i didn't come across as meaning you or any of the others with the same stance were condoning the behaviour, its the significance of the team mate thing.

 

He had an affair, with a team mates partner. Not being your average OK reader, I don't have space in my brain to absorb so called celeb off the pitch friendships to know if they were mates and not just team mates. What if it was just a working relationship, a person in one building having a bit with the mrs of someone else in the building, remove the sporting connection and there's nothing there. Other then an affair.

 

She was the one in the wrong, she was the one owing commitment to Bridge, Terry was wrong owing the commitment to his wife. There is little to non to each other.

[Section_31]

I wouldn't say that monogamy is becoming an outdated concept, but the casual rise of infidelity seems to be a sign of the times. To me it seems is if we are currently living in an age of 'get rich quick' culture and instant gratification, sod the consequences.

Hungry? Get a ton of McDonald's shite down yer neck. (How many more fat bastards do you see these days?) Pissed all of your wages up against the wall? Get a credit card. Fucked up on your credit cards and ran up huge debts? Call one of those numbers during Trisha/Jeremy Kyle. Honeymoon novelty period worn off in your relationship? Go and fuck someone else.

 

Maximum gain with minimum effort seems to be the norm these days. It's all "ME! ME! NOW!!"

 

Incidentally, back in the day, many of the women I had one-nighters with were either married or in relationships. That was one of the things that used to put me off wanting a full-time girlfriend back then.

 

 

Absolutely spot on.

[lostinspace1970]

Bump,

 

Following on from the thread on the *f about some sad act ****ball player.

 

Some of the posts are regarding the fact he cheated with a team mate's missus, what makes that any different to him cheating with someone he could of met at the local?

 

At the end of the day he's still caused harm on those he should of loved and cared for?

 

Sorry, have to disagree with the second part of this, of course agree with the third. I think its the fact that they were friends rather than just team mates and so the fact that he knew the people he was fucking over, and still went ahead and did it makes it worse thank if he'd balled some randomer...it doesnt make the act any worse, it just makes him out to be a bigger c@nt as he had full knowledge of the consequences on his mate and his mates child

[melons]

Sorry, have to disagree with the second part of this, of course agree with the third. I think its the fact that they were friends rather than just team mates and so the fact that he knew the people he was fucking over, and still went ahead and did it makes it worse thank if he'd balled some randomer...it doesnt make the act any worse, it just makes him out to be a bigger c@nt as he had full knowledge of the consequences on his mate and his mates child

 

My nan used to have a saying, "a standing dick has no conscience".

 

I'd have to say there has not been one point in my life i've known that to be untrue. You only have to go out into town of a weekend to see it.

 

I don't for one second think he thought about getting caught at the time or after it. I don't think any man or woman does. I'm not saying what he did was acceptable, the only person he actually owed any loyalty to was his wife. The act itself would of had repercussions no matter what, human decency would of thought that these thoughts would of passed through anyone's head whether friends with a person or not. Clearly society shoes this not to be the case as it happens on a regular basis.

 

I also think people really need to re-evaluate the term 'team mate' from mate and the definition of friend being a different term to a mate.

[Ginny]

If i cheat on a girl, shes the wrong girl for me. If a girl cheats on me, shes the wrong girl for me.

[Liverpool lad]

I agree with the points made in the first post, people seem to be out for instant gratification. I spent a few months in the States this summer around the Bible belt, and people I met weren't all that keen on the whole idea of God but thought the Church gave you a guide when it comes to living your life. Some of the people I spoke to were going to these more modern type churches were the priest was more about applying the teaching to modern day scenarios. Whilst the overbearing presence of religion was annoying in parts,for me at least, I can see the merits of it.

 

I think today, we are lacking that sort of social rule or social discipline, basically governance by societal values. The idea that years ago if you were a teenager who got pregnant you were the talk of the street, whilst nowadays people aren't as shocked by it all. I think there used to be more of a sense of shame years ago. I have seen girls who get caught out, get pregnant early and don't even mention the financial side of it, they just say the social will sort it out. I am not sure I have used the right terminology here, but hopefully you get the idea.

 

This all links into the thread about the 17 year old and his friends fucking about with weapons, there is almost a glamorisation of anti-social behaviour which is underlined by the breakdown of society and its ability to almost self-regulate in parts. I am not saying religion is the cure but we need something to ease the burden on schools, social services, the police, etc as we cannot continue down this route.

 

I also think this is compounded by the culture we have nowadays, the idea that people can go through their lives without taking responsibility for their actions, always blaming others. People who have never worked blaming some childhood trauma 25 years to justify not working now, people blaming cheating on having a drink and the 'I was drunk' line, the list goes on. Just take some fucking responsibility will yer

 

I have went off the point a bit here. As for the people who cheat on their partners, they are the ones who have to live with the consequences and having seen the effects on multiple people I know, it something I could never bring myself to do. Ultimately it is shithouse behaviour.

[Stu Monty]

I agree with the points made in the first post, people seem to be out for instant gratification. I spent a few months in the States this summer around the Bible belt, and people I met weren't all that keen on the whole idea of God but thought the Church gave you a guide when it comes to living your life. Some of the people I spoke to were going to these more modern type churches were the priest was more about applying the teaching to modern day scenarios. Whilst the overbearing presence of religion was annoying in parts,for me at least, I can see the merits of it.

 

I think today, we are lacking that sort of social rule or social discipline, basically governance by societal values. The idea that years ago if you were a teenager who got pregnant you were the talk of the street, whilst nowadays people aren't as shocked by it all. I think there used to be more of a sense of shame years ago. I have seen girls who get caught out, get pregnant early and don't even mention the financial side of it, they just say the social will sort it out. I am not sure I have used the right terminology here, but hopefully you get the idea.

 

This all links into the thread about the 17 year old and his friends fucking about with weapons, there is almost a glamorisation of anti-social behaviour which is underlined by the breakdown of society and its ability to almost self-regulate in parts. I am not saying religion is the cure but we need something to ease the burden on schools, social services, the police, etc as we cannot continue down this route.

 

I also think this is compounded by the culture we have nowadays, the idea that people can go through their lives without taking responsibility for their actions, always blaming others. People who have never worked blaming some childhood trauma 25 years to justify not working now, people blaming cheating on having a drink and the 'I was drunk' line, the list goes on. Just take some fucking responsibility will yer

 

I have went off the point a bit here. As for the people who cheat on their partners, they are the ones who have to live with the consequences and having seen the effects on multiple people I know, it something I could never bring myself to do. Ultimately it is shithouse behaviour.

 

I find it annoying that people who obviously are good intentioned feel that they need a religion to vindicate that choice. If they aren't keep on God then surely the "Church" is just a word for another form of social group; and one that doesn't need the guidance of am organised religion?

 

I find monogomy an interesting subject, given that it is seemingly a concept that has evolved to grease the social aspect of our societies. It is intriguing to me that humans, or at least a lot of them, decided that for their groups to function efficiently, and for young to be reared well, it was best to adopt a model where monogomy was the norm. I say that because it clearly isn't a natural urge. I find it interesting to think that there were other groups and sub-species fucking everything that moved and being out-manouevered by our ancestors who decided that wasn't cricket.

[Liverpool lad]

Fair point Stu, I am not a great fan of religion but I just put it out there as an idea.

 

When I spoke to these people, a few of them conceded that their church was mainly a meeting place, a chance to be seen as doing the right thing by other members of your local community. Local businessmen being keen to be seen, despite all the contradictions of being a follower of Jesus, and being a businessman.

 

The only problem with your criticism is that the Church came before these people and has a certain legitimacy in the eyes of some, this the reason they hide behind it.

[Juniper]

It comes down to the person

 

I've been with my other half five years now, still feel the same about her now as I did when we first met. Not a day goes by where I don't feel like the luckiest man alive. She's my best mate aswell as my lover and I would never do anything to Hurt her and throw our future into jepordy.

 

I've had the chance to cheat in the past (situations I didn't create or persue) but I coudnt even imagine being 'sexual' with another women(bar alba or joile) my dad had a secret life for years and I have seen first hand the pain it causes your loved ones.

 

I guess it not only comes down to the person in question but most importantly how happy they are in their relationship. Every relationship

has it's very low periods, that's natural but it's there to test two indivuals.

 

Cheating has been around since people discovered their genitals. Simple as.

[Stu Monty]

Fair point Stu, I am not a great fan of religion but I just put it out there as an idea.

 

When I spoke to these people, a few of them conceded that their church was mainly a meeting place, a chance to be seen as doing the right thing by other members of your local community. Local businessmen being keen to be seen, despite all the contradictions of being a follower of Jesus, and being a businessman.

 

The only problem with your criticism is that the Church came before these people and has a certain legitimacy in the eyes of some, this the reason they hide behind it.

 

Of course it has legitimacy, it's been around for years. That's all it takes for something completely insane to become a social norm, time and an effort to spread it. That's the only reason people mock Scientology; it's no crazier than Islam or Christianity, it's just not been around as long so hasn't got the following yet. It will have though. It's just as keen to indoctrinate young minds as the other cults so it'll soon catch up. They can buy a school now too, so that'll help.

 

Apologies for the wrong turning people. You want your next left, then right at the lights, you'll be back to Monogamy in no time.

[Jose Jones]

I would say that monogamy these days is probably a more appropriate concept than at most times in the past when it comes to having and raising children. People these days (certainly in Britain, maybe not so much in other countries/cultures) seem to move much more and much further afield to find work, or better living conditions, or just for the whim of it, leaving their family behind – also perhaps one of the reasons for a bit of the social disorder that everyone complains about these days, but that’s another topic.

In ye olden days when kids were married off and dropping sprogs in their teens, whole families would live in one house, or at least in the same local neighbourhood, the grandparents would bring up the children, and there were always lots of cousins, uncles, etc. running around to help out. Which makes parenthood, and single parenthood a whole lot easier.

Even up to the late 70s and 80s people were much more likely to grow up, marry and stay in the same community surrounded by family members.

 

Nowadays it seems people move all over the place, and there’s probably more emphasis on friends as social support rather than family. I’d certainly include myself here as I moved thousands of miles away from any of my kin, and whilst we have a good group of close friends it’s not the same bond as the family one.

 

Stu – wouldn’t monogamy be the most efficient way for the most genes to be passed on from one generation to the next? Important in complex populations like human ones with regards to natural selection and that.

[Stu Monty]

I would say that monogamy these days is probably a more appropriate concept than at most times in the past when it comes to having and raising children. People these days (certainly in Britain, maybe not so much in other countries/cultures) seem to move much more and much further afield to find work, or better living conditions, or just for the whim of it, leaving their family behind – also perhaps one of the reasons for a bit of the social disorder that everyone complains about these days, but that’s another topic.

In ye olden days when kids were married off and dropping sprogs in their teens, whole families would live in one house, or at least in the same local neighbourhood, the grandparents would bring up the children, and there were always lots of cousins, uncles, etc. running around to help out. Which makes parenthood, and single parenthood a whole lot easier.

Even up to the late 70s and 80s people were much more likely to grow up, marry and stay in the same community surrounded by family members.

 

Nowadays it seems people move all over the place, and there’s probably more emphasis on friends as social support rather than family. I’d certainly include myself here as I moved thousands of miles away from any of my kin, and whilst we have a good group of close friends it’s not the same bond as the family one.

 

Stu – wouldn’t monogamy be the most efficient way for the most genes to be passed on from one generation to the next? Important in complex populations like human ones with regards to natural selection and that.

 

No more efficient than in many other species where the dominant male kicks everyone's arse to have the right to pass his genetic material to all of the women in the group. It's more of a concession towards a collaborative way of living. At some point some of our ancestors decided it'd be better not to be fighting each other and fucking each other's women all the time so they could allocate time more efficiently and work better as a group, and that idea prospered.