Jobsworths

[Slam Daniels]

Ive got a meeting with a real jobsworth this afternoon about my expenses. I've basically been claiming my travel back since I joined the company nearly 4 years ago. I still have to go out of the office but not as much.

 

I buy a weekly ticket which allows me to go anywhere for £22 a week. If i was to travel just to work and back it would cost £10 a week. I would then have to queue up and buy seperate tickets for each journey to each job i visited. eg this morning it was two buses and a tube costing around £4. Also more hassle with having to queue to buy individual tickets.

 

Whats i want is some advice on how i can pacify this jobsworth with making him feel that he's right whilst i get away with leaving things as they are.

 

Twat him.

[Ken Robber]

My mate used to work in Screwfix and ended up on the Christmas work night out. 

 

They're all sat at this big table and a lad he works with was sat by a bird he didn't know. Couple of drinks in and she goes to him "So what do you really reckon of Keith then?" (His supervisor) To which he doesn't hesitate to blurt out "Ahh he's a fucking little jobsworth cunt him!" 

 

She was his wife

[Evelyn Tentions]

On 13/11/2021 at 01:07, Ken Robber said:

My mate used to work in Screwfix and ended up on the Christmas work night out. 

 

They're all sat at this big table and a lad he works with was sat by a bird he didn't know. Couple of drinks in and she goes to him "So what do you really reckon of Keith then?" (His supervisor) To which he doesn't hesitate to blurt out "Ahh he's a fucking little jobsworth cunt him!" 

 

She was his wife

Just as well he didn't add "but I hear his missus is a right goer"

[Bjornebye]

Train station staff by and large are the biggest jobsworths going. I’ve worked in Blackpool the last two days at our head office and am just at the train station. I’ve never known a train station not to let people wait for the train at on the platform even though it’s the end of the line. It’s the only place with any shade, in the cool. I’ve just walked through only to be chased by some jobsworth Cunt (who has now put a no entry barrier across) asking me to step back into the station. It’s a glass roof so it’s like a fucking greenhouse in there. I said it’s the only cool place in the station “get back inside please get back” 

 

Nobhead. 

[stringvest]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Train station staff by and large are the biggest jobsworths going. I’ve worked in Blackpool the last two days at our head office and am just at the train station. I’ve never known a train station not to let people wait for the train at on the platform even though it’s the end of the line. It’s the only place with any shade, in the cool. I’ve just walked through only to be chased by some jobsworth Cunt (who has now put a no entry barrier across) asking me to step back into the station. It’s a glass roof so it’s like a fucking greenhouse in there. I said it’s the only cool place in the station “get back inside please get back” 

 

Nobhead. 

 

maybe he was checking to see if you were tall enough to go on

[Bjornebye]

31 minutes ago, stringvest said:

 

maybe he was checking to see if you were tall enough to go on

 

Hahahaha 

[Fugitive]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Train station staff by and large are the biggest jobsworths going. I’ve worked in Blackpool the last two days at our head office and am just at the train station. I’ve never known a train station not to let people wait for the train at on the platform even though it’s the end of the line. It’s the only place with any shade, in the cool. I’ve just walked through only to be chased by some jobsworth Cunt (who has now put a no entry barrier across) asking me to step back into the station. It’s a glass roof so it’s like a fucking greenhouse in there. I said it’s the only cool place in the station “get back inside please get back” 

 

Nobhead. 

The Scotrail staff in Glasgow are pretty good. Always willing to help and a few weeks back, I got to the gate and realised I’d lost my ticket. The fella on the gate, said it happens and let me through. 

[Bjornebye]

15 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

The Scotrail staff in Glasgow are pretty good. Always willing to help and a few weeks back, I got to the gate and realised I’d lost my ticket. The fella on the gate, said it happens and let me through. 

 

You get the odd decent one but few and far between in England. So I've found anyway. 

[Fugitive]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

 

You get the odd decent one but few and far between in England. So I've found anyway. 

Not met a bad one up here. The ones in England are cunts, especially lime street.

 

Must have been about 10 years ago on my birthday, I got to Huyton and there was nobody in the ticket office. The train arrived so I jumped on the train and got to lime street. I queued up to get a ticket before the gate, along with a load of others with my bank card in my hand, and some cunt pulled me to one side and said I was dodging my fare. They then took all my details and gave me some fucking ticket that I had to go online with and pay. Can’t remember exactly but I’m sure I got a fine as well. I was fucking raging.

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

Not met a bad one up here. The ones in England are cunts, especially lime street.

 

Must have been about 10 years ago on my birthday, I got to Huyton and there was nobody in the ticket office. The train arrived so I jumped on the train and got to lime street. I queued up to get a ticket before the gate, along with a load of others with my bank card in my hand, and some cunt pulled me to one side and said I was dodging my fare. They then took all my details and gave me some fucking ticket that I had to go online with and pay. Can’t remember exactly but I’m sure I got a fine as well. I was fucking raging.

 

That's just made me angry reading it. Fucking bastards, I've got loads of stories of them being cunts. Might write a book.

 

The Satanic Train Bastard Verses. 

[Fugitive]

9 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

 

That's just made me angry reading it. Fucking bastards, I've got loads of stories of them being cunts. Might write a book.

 

The Satanic Train Bastard Verses. 

Mate, I was fucking raging. I literally got off the train and stood in line to get my ticket off one of those cunts with the little machine around their necks. No idea why but the little nazi twat and his mate ragged me out of line and made me feel like a right cunt. 
 

The fella at Huyton had a habit of fucking off out of the office and walking around with a litter picker if the weather was nice. 
 

Ruined my birthday, the bastards.

[Strontium]

48 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

Not met a bad one up here. The ones in England are cunts, especially lime street.

 

Must have been about 10 years ago on my birthday, I got to Huyton and there was nobody in the ticket office. The train arrived so I jumped on the train and got to lime street. I queued up to get a ticket before the gate, along with a load of others with my bank card in my hand, and some cunt pulled me to one side and said I was dodging my fare. They then took all my details and gave me some fucking ticket that I had to go online with and pay. Can’t remember exactly but I’m sure I got a fine as well. I was fucking raging.

 

They tried something similar with my brother's stepson. They appealed against it and won. It's not reasonable to expect someone to buy a ticket if there's no way of actually buying one.

[Fugitive]

4 minutes ago, Strontium said:

 

They tried something similar with my brother's stepson. They appealed against it and won. It's not reasonable to expect someone to buy a ticket if there's no way of actually buying one.

I just ended up paying it. Was absolutely fuming though as I’m as honest as the day comes. Was only a few weeks ago that I was in Morrisons with the little one and when I got home, found she had picked up a toy and brought it home with her. I went back, explained what had happened and paid them for it. The woman was pissing herself and called me daft haha.

[littletedwest]

32 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

I just ended up paying it. Was absolutely fuming though as I’m as honest as the day comes. Was only a few weeks ago that I was in Morrisons with the little one and when I got home, found she had picked up a toy and brought it home with her. I went back, explained what had happened and paid them for it. The woman was pissing herself and called me daft haha.

In this cost of living crisis I'd be teaching her what a steak is

[Fugitive]

6 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

In this cost of living crisis I'd be teaching her what a steak is

Hahaha, it was little fucking egg thing with a my little pony toy in it.

[VladimirIlyich]

7 hours ago, Fugitive said:

Hahaha, it was little fucking egg thing with a my little pony toy in it.

Next time you are there can you ask her to get me two? And 4 cans of Stella.

[Paulie Dangerously]

The merseyrail UPAS (Upholstery Protection Action Squad) are brilliant jobsworths. Adjust your feet and a toe touches the upholstery? Boom fine! Food touches the frame between the upholstery? Boom fine! 

 

Saw a them try to fine an older fella who had his foot on the metal bit, virtually deserted train, the storm in to do their god given duty. Talk about why he's getting a fine and ask if he understands and he says no. One of them goes, "Well if you don't understand then we can't issue you the fine."

 

That's it then. However many times they explain about the definition of a seat under the merseyrail bylaws he just says he doesn't understand. When its his stop he just stands up because they can't detain him and walls past. They started to pretend to radio the police and the old fella just laughed at them and walked away. 

[Harry Squatter]

17 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

The merseyrail UPAS (Upholstery Protection Action Squad) are brilliant jobsworths. Adjust your feet and a toe touches the upholstery? Boom fine! Food touches the frame between the upholstery? Boom fine! 

 

Saw a them try to fine an older fella who had his foot on the metal bit, virtually deserted train, the storm in to do their god given duty. Talk about why he's getting a fine and ask if he understands and he says no. One of them goes, "Well if you don't understand then we can't issue you the fine."

 

That's it then. However many times they explain about the definition of a seat under the merseyrail bylaws he just says he doesn't understand. When its his stop he just stands up because they can't detain him and walls past. They started to pretend to radio the police and the old fella just laughed at them and walked away. 

But weirdly enough when it's a gang of scalls or a big grock they won't say a word to them.

[Bjornebye]

The ticket inspectors when you get off the train on platform 14 at Piccadilly are funny. You’re all coming down that travelator thing towards them and they line up adjusting themselves and getting ready like fucking stormtroopers 

[Kevin D]

16 hours ago, Fugitive said:

I just ended up paying it. Was absolutely fuming though as I’m as honest as the day comes. Was only a few weeks ago that I was in Morrisons with the little one and when I got home, found she had picked up a toy and brought it home with her. I went back, explained what had happened and paid them for it. The woman was pissing herself and called me daft haha.

Similar thing happened to a friend of mine.

 

He was in Madrid and found a money clip with about 500 euros in it. He looked around and couldn’t find anyone it belonged to, so went to a police station to hand it in. They laughed and told him to keep it, the police said it happens all the time.