'To Sit or to Stand' - The Great British Debate

[thechap]

Crivens! 10 years later and it's still causing controversy.

 

There would an easy but stomach-churning way to resolve this.  At then end of a long working day get 10 from each side to bend over for bottom inspection.  I have no doubt that the standers would have a far higher count not only for faecal matter nestling twixt the cheeks but also for skid marks in the undies.

 

I simply don't understand why standers can't see how the act of standing up can only squash what's left on the ringpiece between the cheeks. If like me you have even a moderate degree of hair between your cheeks and around your ring, you are guaranteed to be left with a few dirty janglers.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Could a sitter explain how the deed is actually accomplished ? The physical mechanics of "the seated wipe" ? Is it even possible to properly wipe the ring piece from a seated position without contact between forearm and old dicky tinkles ? Never mind "the wall of bollocks".

[Jairzinho]

Lean forward a bit, then wipe yer arse.

[VladimirIlyich]

Lean forward a bit, then wipe yer arse.

Is the correct answer.

Used to stand when I was a kid but my undies used to look like Heathrow's main runway but adulthood and sitting leaves barely a mark,like a Hospital Ward's walls after a royal visit.

[Lee909]

Could a sitter explain how the deed is actually accomplished ? The physical mechanics of "the seated wipe" ? Is it even possible to properly wipe the ring piece from a seated position without contact between forearm and old dicky tinkles ? Never mind "the wall of bollocks".

A 'Browns' fan is a stander, go figure

[AngryOfTuebrook]

On a related note, whenever I've finished my arseblutions, I always want to stand up, turn around and piss.

 

Is this normal, or an early symptom of shithouse dog AIDS?

[ZonkoVille77]

AngryofTuebrook, on 26 Sept 2016 - 3:48 PM, said:

 

On a related note, whenever I've finished my arseblutions, I always want to stand up, turn around and piss.

 

Is this normal, or an early symptom of shithouse dog AIDS?

After I've had a dump, I always have the urge to piss. Sometimes it's a minute or 2 later meaning I have to go back in again. cunt.

[Jairzinho]

I almost always have to piss before I dump.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

People sit to wipe their arses?

 

What the fuck is wrong with some people? Isn't there some sort of register for you deviants to sign? I'm astounded. Fucking hell.

 

Stand up, all the time.

[lifetime fan]

After I've had a dump, I always have the urge to piss. Sometimes it's a minute or 2 later meaning I have to go back in again. cunt.

Take your phone with you and don't rush.

[Jairzinho]

Take your phone with you and don't rush.

 

Ashley Cole, over here.

[Lee909]

After I've had a dump, I always have the urge to piss. Sometimes it's a minute or 2 later meaning I have to go back in again. cunt.

Count your self lucky to have a working pancreas. Im like a old man pissing at night time sometimes. Though its have a crap and 5 minutes later running from the knees down back to the shitter

[lifetime fan]

Ashley Cole, over here.

Fuck off.

 

What sort of reputation do I have?

[Jairzinho]

Fuck off.

 

What sort of reputation do I have?

 

That of a man who sees any object as a potential sex toy?

[lifetime fan]

That of a man who sees any object as a potential sex toy?

Fair comment.

[Fowlers God]

I still can't even get my head round how people clean their Arse sitting down, it's just plain wrong. Where do you find the room to put arm between toilet and Arse? Stand and scrub away

[Hand Shandy]

How exactly do you 'scrub away' when your arse cheeks are stuck together with your own shit?

[moof]

Squatting is best, surely? The fuck is this sit down, stand up nonsense?

[Lee909]

Whats all this talk of how do you wipe while sitting down. Thats the issue for the groom of the stool. One does not wipe ones own bottom

[memyselfandpie]

I have proudly just taken this to a 47-47 tie!

[Lee909]

In your dreams 48-47 for the righteous and clean sitters

[cloggypop]

49-47

[Remmie]

The correct answer is to get yourself a bum gun like they have in south East Asia. Put it on power jet setting, aim it at your poopy batty and BANG, THE SKIDS ARE GONE.

 

Also highly useful when you got the runs and have squeezed out a dog egg for the 8th time of the day and don't want a Japanese flag

[Hades]

The correct answer is to get yourself a bum gun like they have in south East Asia. Put it on power jet setting, aim it at your poopy batty and BANG, THE SKIDS ARE GONE.

 

Also highly useful when you got the runs and have squeezed out a dog egg for the 8th time of the day and don't want a Japanese flag

 

You can get a £5 squirt bottle on Ebay that does the same job. 

[Remmie]

Something tells me I don't want to Google squit bottle