'To Sit or to Stand' - The Great British Debate

[Stu Monty]

Did a test drive of the standing method earlier. Afwul idea.

[Vincent Vega]

Did a test drive of the standing method earlier. Afwul idea.

 

Was it smeared all up your back? Can't believe those standing outnumber those who stay seated, it's just plain wrong.

[kop]

What's next; sitting down for a piss?

[thechap]

What's next; sitting down for a piss?

 

While the 'sit down piss' does initially make one recoil, I can see that it does have merits to it. ie. no spraying everywhere, comfort, thinking/reading time, less chance of leakage once hose is replaced...

[Alan Sex]

So it's settled then - the refined ones, the connoiseurs of wipage, sit --- and the chavs stand and smear.

 

 

Which leads to the really important question: Bog Roll, do you fold or scrunch?

[Stouffer]

Which leads to the really important question: Bog Roll, do you fold or scrunch?

 

Dear God man, fold. If you scrunched it would be like making one of those childs pictures with scrunched up bits of paper, only in the colour brown!

[Stu Monty]

Where would be the sense in scrunching it? Surely the domain of a caveman or a mental?

[RedKnight]

You should all buy bidets to wash your arses. Fuckin' women.

[Alan Sex]

I am certainly a folder - folding has its benefits, such as far less chance of breaking through and getting shitfingered. If you are running low on roll, you can always refold and wipe again!

 

 

-- There's nothing worse than getting shitfingered. Even after a good scrub you can still smell it later in the day when you go to pick/scratch (depending on whether you are being honest or not) your nose.

[The-Sir]

The ULTIMATE question.

 

Which hand do you wipe your arse with? ;)

[Alan Sex]

I use bog roll - you fucking heathen.

[Paul]

Where's the option for mix and match? My diet has recently gone even more fruit and veg than before with the consequent benefit of infinitely less sticky poos. Therefore, the extra wiping power of the standing position is currently not required. However, when the winter kicks in with its accompanying hearty meat dishes diet, I reckon I'll be on my toes once more. And that's before I get to the Friday night Guiness.

[The-Sir]

I use bog roll - you fucking heathen.

 

I use both hands at once :whistle:

 

what?

[Joeys Pogo]

I am environmentally friendly and only actually wipe about once a month to save bog roll

 

If you time the scissor bone manouevre properly there is little or no overhang and therefore no real need for unnecessary wipeage.

 

Its the little things that can save the planet people - be green - wipe only when absolutely necessary.

[The-Sir]

or use your hands like me :tease:

 

EDIT: I dont actually use my hands :sniff:

[Guest TK-421]

I scrunch the bog paper its not Origami ffs.

[redrosetints]

I think it depends on flow myself. If its a heavy flow, day after a curry type thing, then sittign down will suffice. But if you've been dining on lots of doughy stuff, and just getting a pip out is a real eye watering experience, never mind pushing out what look like jet black pieces of plastic from your arse, then standing up is sometimes required to ensure cleanleness. Noone wants a small piece of what looks like jet black plasitc on their finger when they next have a scratch.....

[thechap]

I went through a period years ago of forcefully pulling my cheeks apart to try and prevent claggs. However it didn't last long because although successful, I realised that even though I was alone it removed all my dignity.

 

Also, how wasteful is scrunching? Scrunch 6 squares and it can be used only once. Fold it and it can be used several times more.

 

Save the planet - fold your bog paper. Scrunch and we're heading for disaster.

[Alan Sex]

Ok - hands up. Who has been shitfingered within the last week?

 

(easy enough - little splash, wet bum, wet paper.... shitfinger!)

[thechap]

Ok - hands up. Who has been shitfingered within the last week?

 

(easy enough - little splash, wet bum, wet paper.... shitfinger!)

 

Got a shitty thumb this evening from my boy's nappy. And yes, it does linger. It's like it impregnates your skin.

[thechap]

POO! POO! POO!

 

 

there. 300 posts!

[tokyojoe]

POO! POO! POO!

 

 

there. 300 posts!

 

A profound way to mark your 300th post.

[Dave H]

Thought only birds sat?

 

They have to do front & back.. :$

[bossy]

I do the first wipe while still sat down. This clears any 'overflow' there may be. I then stand to complete the cleansing operation. I wasn't aware of my routine until this thread and a cup of coffee got me to the toilet. Know thyself as Socrotes might have said.

[wiiksie]

Im baffled by people who stand. Sit, shift weight to one side, scrape.