Featured: That was the Week that Was (Aug 14-18 2023)

[tlw content]

 

Monday Aug 14:

 

So not only did we miss out on Caicedo, but by making that desperate late pivot in a doomed attempt to get him we also ensured we didn’t get the lad we’d been chasing all summer. It’s quite the clusterfuck. So much so that right now we’re on the brink of the worst summer of transfers in my lifetime. Nothing against the two lads we did sign, who I’m very bullish about, but the way we’ve conducted ourselves in this window is even worse than the dark days of Parry switching off his phone to go to the cinema when a tearful Owen was stalling Newcastle and desperately trying to get hold of him.

 

While it’s fair to say we don’t know the in and outs of how these things develop and to exactly what extent the club have fucked things up, there are some things we do know and based solely on that, this lurches from bad to fucking inexcusable. I was fuming with us a week ago, and that was before all this shit.

 

So, Caicedo. When the news broke we’d had a record bid accepted I was fucking buzzing. He’s exactly the player we need for how we want to play. Perfect fit, the club putting their money where their mouth is, what’s not to love about that? Then it emerges he doesn’t want to come here. So why did we bid for him? You don’t do that without encouragement, but I’m reading reports today saying that’s exactly what we did.

 

So we either bid for a player who gave us no indication he wanted to come, or we were played like a fiddle by him and his agent. Then there’s the question of why we didn’t walk away when he snubbed us? I think the answer to that is more simple. Spite. We wanted to ensure Chelsea paid through the nose. I’m good with that. The rest of it though? It’s a joke.

 

This is what happens when you don’t have a competent Sporting Director. You think Edwards or even Ward would have been played like this? They’d have sniffed it out from a mile away. That lad and his agent have made cunts out of us. Actually we’ve done a good job of doing that to ourselves, but fuck them anyway. Fuck Chelsea too, what they’re doing is scandalous and it’s bizarre that the Premier League are allowing it.

 

I hear all the explanations of nine year contracts, amortisation, book value and all that shit but I refuse to accept that a team not in Europe, with no fucking shirt sponsor, and that has been spending shitloads even before they replaced the last mad cunt with an even worse one, can spend ONE BILLION in three windows and somehow still be within the rules.

 

But what about us. If we had that kind of cash to throw at Caicedo then why were we haggling over four mil for Lavia? We fucked that one up royally. I don’t blame that kid one bit for going to Chelseas. We were his preferred destination, he’d agreed terms and we left him waiting for weeks while we failed to meet the asking price. Then, we threw £110m at another player who plays in the same position. When that player snubbed us we went back to him. I’d have told us to fuck off too. Especially as Chelsea still wanted him even though they’d already signed Caicedo. If we’d got Caicedo would we have gone back on for Lavia or would we have left him high and dry?

 

Honestly, the more I think about this shit the angrier its making me. Actually it’s more disgust than anger. I don’t know who to be angry at as I don’t know who is to blame for all this. I know a lot of it is on Klopp this time. Last summer was too. I’m just appalled at how incompetent we’ve become.

 

I’m really looking forward to Kloppo’s next jibe about “whatever we do isn’t going to be good enough for you”. It’s not good enough for you either is it, considering you’re going to end up with someone who wasn’t even in the top ten list of targets a few weeks ago? Fucking shambolic shitshow this and there’s plenty of blame to go around.

 

FSG’s role in this can’t be overlooked, but their culpability is probably not for what most people say it is. Not this time anyway. This summer is not about them being mingebags. I don’t think for a second we were lowballing Southampton because John Henry wouldn’t stump up the cash. That ‘strategy’ was on whoever was negotiating. Probably Ibiza George and Klopp between them. Maybe a bit of Billy Hogan mixed in. But it wasn’t about a lack of funds that stopped us getting Lavia, it was about trying to be too fucking smart.

 

Where FSG fucked up massively was in taking their eye off the ball last year. When Julian Ward said he was leaving, what did they do? Mike Gordon fucked off and spent months trying to find investment. That chase was about as fruitful as the Caicedo one. So instead of bringing in a competent Sporting Director, Flash Gordon was off chasing money and coming up empty handed. So we then end up with this fucking German lemon who has been as useful as a chocolate fireguard. That’s where FSG are to blame.

 

The rest of what we’ve seen this summer is on the ‘football people’. And that means Klopp for the most part. He’s got more power now than he’s ever had before and it hasn’t worked out well has it? I don’t think he’s actively gone looking for that power, he’s no Rafa that’s for sure, but no matter what happened to get us here, this is the outcome - Klopp with much more power and us no longer able to get the players we need.

 

Meanwhile, we’ve fucked around for so long without signing a midfielder that Manu Kone has now recovered from his knee injury. May as well go for him now, there aren’t exactly a lot of alternatives anymore. The sporting director at his club is the son of Ibiza George so presumably even he couldn’t fuck this one up. Then again, maybe his son thinks he’s a deadbeat too.

 

On the field tonight United were outplayed by Wolves but spawned a 1-0 win as Gary O’Neil was given an apology by the officials for missing a blatant penalty. They didn’t miss it, they knew what they were doing. United aren’t getting pens given against them at Old Trafford on Howard Webb’s watch.

 

Our u21s kicked off their season with a 4-0 spanking of Everton that really should have been more. Brilliant performance, absolutely murdered them. If you can find the highlights anywhere its defo worth a watch as this was a massacre. Bobby Clark ran the show and the pressing was incredible. The goals came from Musialowski, Miles, Hill and Clark. These lads might be worth following this season. I’ve lost interest in the u21s in recent years but if this squad stays together that might change.

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[dave u]

Probably should have included some of today's stuff about Greenwood in this but felt like it was extra long this week so I've left it for now. Will probably comment on it next week after seeing if it develops further. The stuff in the Athletic today is bad. United handling it abysmally.

[Anubis]

Hope your source is wrong about the signings. This would be fucking rank.

[halewood pete]

Great read Dave,love the golf club analogy. 

[ralph]

Five to two, time of my life comes on.

Made me laugh, but relatable. 

[King Kenny 86]

Tierney on VAR  that's because he can fuck us over on tight decisions but would look really bad in the game as we shouldn't need VAR to beat Bournemouth 

He is waving him in front of us  the come next week New Saudi away would not Suprise me he is on the middle.

[Jurgen Knows]

Saudi Arabia have played friendlies in Europe for more than 20 years. Nothing new there other than the fact that they are using their own facilities now.

 

 

 

 

[dave u]

It's not supposed to be 'their' stadium though is it, not according to Staveley & co.

 

My point was that those Geordie dickheads will fill the place, all decked out in their away strip, cheering for their new overlords and saviours.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

So Ping is better than Calloway? (not a golfer - 132 around Arrowe Park as a kid).

[Jurgen Knows]

10 hours ago, dave u said:

It's not supposed to be 'their' stadium though is it, not according to Staveley & co.

 

My point was that those Geordie dickheads will fill the place, all decked out in their away strip, cheering for their new overlords and saviours.

We all know it is effectively their stadium.
 

Staveley & co are pawns nominated by the UK regime to try to reconcile its ostensibly noble values with its filthy reality.

 

The subjects of one crooked regime cheering for a football team based in the country of another crooked regime?

 

It already happens every week. 

 

[Erik T]

«Waturu under the bridge»

 

Haha, loved that one. 

[dave u]

12 hours ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

So Ping is better than Calloway? (not a golfer - 132 around Arrowe Park as a kid).

 

Debatable, much down to personal preference. 

[dave u]

5 hours ago, Jurgen Knows said:

We all know it is effectively their stadium.
 

Staveley & co are pawns nominated by the UK regime to try to reconcile its ostensibly noble values with its filthy reality.

 

The subjects of one crooked regime cheering for a football team based in the country of another crooked regime?

 

It already happens every week. 

 

 

We all know do we? Maybe someone needs to tell the Premier League then as they are under a different impression. Supposedly.

[Jurgen Knows]

41 minutes ago, dave u said:

 

We all know do we? Maybe someone needs to tell the Premier League then as they are under a different impression. Supposedly.

They know. They just pretend they don’t.

[Dave D]

Rolex or unlimited Carvery? Ill get my knife and fork