FAO men cohabiting with women

[Sugar Ape]

3 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Bet you’ve already had your first pint and wank. 

Before she even left mate. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

My missus fucks off to Switzerland for 5 days in November I'll miss her so much. Cant wait.

[littletedwest]

I was banished to the spare room when I had covid. Both times she made my food but left me alone. Like a holiday apart from the being ill bit.

[YorkshireRed]

Mine’s just nipped to the local shops. Fifteen minutes of freedom. 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, lifetime fan said:

Bet you’ve already had your first pint of wank. 

Been a while then.

[Remmie]

9 hours ago, Sugar Ape said:

She’s gone away camping with her mate and the kids for two days. 
 

TWO DAYS. 

Tempted to neg, you spawny bastard 

[Redder Lurtz]

Is it just me who gets bollocked for breathing out?'

 

"We need to go to Marks and Spencers when you get home"

 

*breathes out

 

"Stop huffing"

 

 

 

[Kevin D]

10 hours ago, Remmie said:

Tempted to neg, you spawny bastard 

Negged for not negging.

 

Always trust your negging instincts.

[sir roger]

At the risk of being negged to oblivion, the wife has booked to go and see her friiend in Adelaide next Feb / March for 6 weeks. Already scraping the days on the wall like the Prisoner of Zenda.

[Redder Lurtz]

She's taken the motorhome and fucked off for a week with the dog to Essex to see friends and family. Bonus. 

 

I just opened a cupboard door and this poxy jug just hit the deck. 

 

I whatsapped her a pic, saying don't have a go, I just opened the cupboard door and it fell straight out. 

 

"Tenerife 2000. I'd had that 22 years"

 

My riposte "It's up wiv da angles and da kween now" has thus far been met with stony silence. 

 

[dockers_strike]

6 minutes ago, Redder Lurtz said:

She's taken the motorhome and fucked off for a week with the dog to Essex to see friends and family. Bonus. 

 

I just opened a cupboard door and this poxy jug just hit the deck. 

 

I whatsapped her a pic, saying don't have a go, I just opened the cupboard door and it fell straight out. 

 

"Tenerife 2000. I'd had that 22 years"

 

My riposte "It's up wiv da angles and da kween now" has thus far been met with stony silence. 

 

Bit of super glue and a bit of time will fix that by the time she gets back, mate!

[Redder Lurtz]

2 minutes ago, dockers_strike said:

Bit of super glue and a bit of time will fix that by the time she gets back, mate!

That'd be more superglue than jug by the time it's fixed mate. It's in the bin. 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Redder Lurtz said:

That'd be more superglue than jug by the time it's fixed mate. It's in the bin. 

All you'll be getting down there right now will be "Oh my gawd, fackin' cant" 

[Jairzinho]

On 20/08/2022 at 12:06, sir roger said:

At the risk of being negged to oblivion, the wife has booked to go and see her friiend in Adelaide next Feb / March for 6 weeks. Already scraping the days on the wall like the Prisoner of Zenda.

Sounds ace that, Rog. Got three weeks at Christmas.

 

She fucks off on 17/12. Possibly Fury/Joshua that evening, with the world cup final the following day. Then three Australia v South Africa tests, the final Pakistan v England test, and three of our fixtures over the three weeks.

 

Not that I'm looking forward to it and marking every single sporting event on a calendar or anything.

[Oh Buoy]

How are you cunts getting weeks off? 

 

Mine don't fucking leave the premises unless it's the odd day she's called into work. 

[Sugar Ape]

Just came on here to bump this thread. She’s gone again with the kid for a night, I can hardly believe my luck. Second time in a month. Time for Rum. 
 

 

[Redder Lurtz]

Innit weird. When we're younger all we think about is chasing women. Fast forward the odd decade or three and it's a blessed relief when they fuck off for a bit. 

[lifetime fan]

1 hour ago, Bot said:

How are you cunts getting weeks off? 

 

Mine don't fucking leave the premises unless it's the odd day she's called into work. 

Since mine changed jobs she now works 9:30 - 4:30. I never get an evening to myself. 
 

I can’t wait for next June when she goes on rugby tour for 4 nights! 

[Kevin D]

 

 

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2023/08/08/wife-poison-husband-bleach-coffee-arizona-melody-johnson/?li_source=LI&li_medium=liftigniter-rhr
 

A woman has been accused of trying to kill her US Air Force husband by poisoning his coffee, after he caught her in the act using hidden cameras.

 

Melody Johnson, 39, from Arizona, was arrested in July after her husband, Roby Johnson, showed the allegedly incriminating footage to the police.

 

Mr Johnson became suspicious when he noticed his coffee tasting strange while stationed in Germany towards the end of March.

 

He continued to drink it for a few weeks before using chemical testing strips on the water in his coffee machine, which apparently showed high levels of chlorine.

 

Mr Johnson then set up a camera in his home that captured footage of his wife “pouring something into his coffee pot”, the complaint alleges.

 

He pretended to drink the coffee until they returned to the US in the summer because he did not want to file a police report in Germany.

 

The airman set up another camera while stationed at a hotel on Davis-Monthan Air Force Base in Tucson, Arizona in July. Again, footage is said to show Mrs Johnson “walk to his coffee maker and pour something into his water reservoir”.

 

Police request further evidence

 

Mr Johnson reported his wife to the police the next day but was told by officers that it was not clear what she had poured into the machine.

 

It was only when the family moved into a house in July and Mr Johnson set up several cameras that he was able to record his wife allegedly decanting bleach into a container before pouring it into the coffee maker.
 

He told the police that he believed the 39-year-old was trying to kill him to collect death benefits, police said.

 

The couple are going through a divorce but were living together with a child at the time.

Mrs Johnson was arrested by police in Tucson and charged with first-degree attempted murder, attempted aggravated assault and adding poison to food or drink.

 

She is being held at the Pima County Jail before her next scheduled court appearance on Sept 6.

 

Bail has been set at $250,000 (£197,000), which prosecutors argued was necessary because Mrs Johnson had recently bought a house in the Philippines and should be considered a flight risk.

 

Investigators recovered a container holding a liquid that smelled of bleach from her bedroom, court documents state. The liquid inside the coffee maker was also said to smell of bleach.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I stay in my mates every Friday there's not a single chance I could spend the week without a break, probably harder when you have kids, I have a son but he's older, she wants kids but fuck knows if/ when that might happen.

 

She goes on holiday 3 times a year with just her Ma too, I think she's just as glad of the break as I am.

[Karl_b]

The wife and young un are going away with the in-laws on Friday; it'll be just me and the dog for a week. 

 

I've taken a day off this week and next to enjoy some time to myself. I love them but it this is absolutely essential selfish time for some gardening, dog walks to the pub and watching the unmentionable. Bliss. 

[Bjornebye]

9 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

The wife and young un are going away with the in-laws on Friday; it'll be just me and the dog for a week. 

 

I've taken a day off this week and next to enjoy some time to myself. I love them but it this is absolutely essential selfish time for some gardening, dog walks to the pub and watching the unmentionable. Bliss. 

 

 

 

[stringvest]

6 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

I stay in my mates every Friday there's not a single chance I could spend the week without a break, probably harder when you have kids, I have a son but he's older, she wants kids but fuck knows if/ when that might happen.

 

 

 

probably one Friday night mate

[Bobby Hundreds]

Asking me "what, why, how" when we are watching a programme. I dont know I've watched as fucking much of it as you have, the answers will be revealed at a later time otherwise there's no fucking point in extending this series beyond one episode. This translates into "dunno babe"

[manwiththestick]

1 hour ago, Karl_b said:

The wife and young un are going away with the in-laws on Friday; it'll be just me and the dog for a week. 

 

I've taken a day off this week and next to enjoy some time to myself. I love them but it this is absolutely essential selfish time for some gardening, dog walks to the pub and watching the unmentionable. Bliss. 

I'm living this dream this very week, she took the kids to Scotland to visit family, I'm working from home and it's been great.

 

Clocked off at 5pm, done a 30k bike ride and just been the offy for a few ciders.