The Official Cricket Thread

[Dan Vito Corleone]

We've got to stop this shit. Losing wickets so early in the innings is absolutely killing us.

[Jairzinho]

If onions is the answer we're fucked.

He's England's second best bowler in English conditions.

 

Stokes, Broad, and Jordan are all nothing bowlers. Not guile, no swing, couldn't out think a month old springer spaniel.

 

Finn we seem committed to ruining.

[Jairzinho]

Broad averages about 12. He can't bat. A yearly successful slog against shite does not make him an all rounder.

 

Boycott had it right yesterday, if he's scared of short pitch bowling there is one acceptable solution. Fuck. Him. Off.

[Dan Vito Corleone]

Broad is clearly a very good player but he's in very poor form.

[Yozzer]

We have the most boring top three in Test cricket at the moment. It's actually nice to see us 3 down but have Bell and Root at the crease as they'll actually have some positive intent.

[lifetime fan]

He's England's second best bowler in English conditions.

 

Stokes, Broad, and Jordan are all nothing bowlers. Not guile, no swing, couldn't out think a month old springer spaniel.

 

Finn we seem committed to ruining.

That's the problem.

[Dan Vito Corleone]

We have the most boring top three in Test cricket at the moment. It's actually nice to see us 3 down but have Bell and Root at the crease as they'll actually have some positive intent.

 

This is the problem.

 

3 and 4 have to go into their shells because of the damage done above them. They have to try and calm it down and consolidate. If we actually built a 50 stand it would let other players become more exciting.

[Dan Vito Corleone]

Lead of 220 with 7 wickets remaining at the end of day 3. Not too shabby despite two very poor starts to the innings.

[RobbieOR]

To be fair Broad nearly lost an eye last summer when he got hit by that bouncer so you'd imagine it will take him a bit of time to be confident against a short ball again.

[Jairzinho]

He should regain that confidence playing for his county.

[Jose Jones]

Lead of 220 with 7 wickets remaining at the end of day 3. Not too shabby despite two very poor starts to the innings.

 

400 ahead by tea then stick the Windies in hopefully.

Cook will want to bat on until the last hour though if England are going well.

[Jairzinho]

 

Cook will want to bat on until the last hour though if England are going well.

 

Yes, of day five.

[Jose Jones]

Yes, of day five.

 

Stats show that 100% of teams that declare with a 700 lead and an hour of play of the test match left go on to either win or draw the game.

Not one defeat.  An obvious decision when you take the emotion out of it.

[Jairzinho]

Stats show that 100% of teams that declare with a 700 lead and an hour of play of the test match left go on to either win or draw the game.

Not one defeat.  An obvious decision when you take the emotion out of it.

 

[Jairzinho]

Good knock from Ballance. Hopefully the rest of the team gets out quickly, to avoid the tedium of Cook making us bat for a session longer than we needed to. Let's be honest, we could have declared at lunch, West Indies won't be getting more than 250 in the last innings.

[Frankenhooker]

I'd let Buttler get to 50, which shouldn't take long at this rate, then call them off. Leads over 400 now which is more than enough.

[Jairzinho]

Stop batting, you wankers.

[Frankenhooker]

About fucking time, saying that a lead of less than 500 is quite aggressive from Cook.

 

[Jairzinho]

They'll be six down at close.

[lifetime fan]

91-2.

[Jairzinho]

Dreadful shot from Bravo at the end there. Done all the hard work and then wafts at a wide one with all the accompanying footwork of someone with Parkinson's. Still, they've shown more composure and resilience than I'd imagined they would. Be surprised if they got past tea tomorrow though. 

[Jairzinho]

If I was in charge of the West Indies team that would be the last shot Devon Smith ever plays for his country.

 

Having a great test, Tredwell.

[Jairzinho]

Anderson level with Botham now. Fucking hell, this Windies side is spineless.

[lifetime fan]

If I was in charge of the West Indies team that would be the last shot Devon Smith ever plays for his country.

 

Having a great test, Tredwell.

It was all part of Moores plan, keep him fresh over the winter.

[lifetime fan]

Anderson level with Botham now. Fucking hell, this Windies side is spineless.

Of course they are. They'd be wiping the floor with us otherwise.