Train conductors...

[Chris]

Must be some of the most incompassionate, jobsworth cunts in the history of the entire planet. In my experience, they have not one ounce of sentiment in their entire bodies.

 

I forgot my railcard today and couldn't get home in time to pick it up, so decided to take a chance. I got as far as Wolverhampton without being checked and thought I was home and dry. Moment I get on the next train, this off the reservation cocksucker, horrible fat cunt (like fucking putrid and massive) is like "tickets, railcards and passes".

 

Fuck.

 

Anyway, he asks for my railcard, and I'm say: "I'll be really honest with you, man. I had to change everything from one bag to this one as I'm testing it for work. My railcard was in that one. I do have one and if you can give me a bill or something on the condition of producing my railcard then fair enough. My mistake."

 

He takes the ticket off me, the only sound coming from massive gob is the heavy breathing and starts punching numbers into his little keypad.

 

His next words are "£25.45"

 

I'll like come on man, cut me a break, I have a railcard, I just don't have it with me, I explained to you."

 

He's all like, "you don't have a railcard with you, so your ticket doesn't exist."

 

The arrogant fucking cunt. I tried to be polite and he was just obnoxious, the mealy mouthed fuck. That's my experience with practically every train conductor I've ever encountered. They're like mobile traffic wardens.

 

You just can't talk to these people. How the fuck do they sleep at night.

 

I should have argued more, but really didn't have the energy after a long-ass week, so I just said, "not exactly brimming with human compassion you people, are you?" and handed over my card.

 

He just shrugged and gave me the thing to sign.

 

It's little wonder that so many acts of violence and abuse occur against these jobsworth fuckers. They're just so fucking twattable. Cunts.

[snez1]

At least you didn't get fined for the unholy sin of putting your feet on he plastic between the seats!

[Chuck Fadanoid]

Sorry for mention of f**tball on the GF, but...

 

Me and my cousin took my grandad, who's 72, to the Birmingham F.A cup game a few years ago and he nearly wasn't allowed in because he had a normal adult ticket instead of a senior citizen ticket. We explained that we'd asked for a senior citizen and that whoever sorted it probably just forgot to stamp it, but the prick was having none of it. He said, 'Maybe you wiped off the stamp', before my grandad questioned why he would do that when normal adult tickets cost more than senior citizen ones. Tbh, I don't know if that was more being a jobsworth or being a fucking idiot.

 

It's definately people who have a false sense of power that are the most jobsworthy; bouncers being another prime example.

[Spy Bee]

I was at this train station once when a train called Common Sense left and a train called Target Driven Bollocks arrived.

 

True story.

[Redder Lurtz]

Chris, to be fair, if he hadn't charged you and you'd been checked later on there's every chance the bloke would have lost his job. They are miserable cunts the way they go about their work but they've probably heard it all 100 times before.

[bobhorse]

You didnt have a ticket regardless of what excuse you have you have to buy a ticket

 

Try getting in the match by saying you have a ticket but its on the back kitchen table and if they let you in you will bring it with you next week

 

It might be shit but its your fault and you have to live with it the man is just doing his job

[dudek#1]

Only once has a train conductor let me off. I was in Liverpool at around half past one in the morning, and had just missed the last train back to Preston. I had to go to Crewe and go to my mums. I had no money, just my ticket to Preston. I just showed her my illegitimate ticket, smiled, and she let me off.

[Redder Lurtz]

My teenage years were spent being brought up by my scouse parents in the Medway Towns, North Kent. I spent what seemed a large proportion of my youth hanging around Sloane Square and Leicester Square letting American tourists take photos of us with our DMs, leather jackets, mohicans etc. Not once did I ever use anything more than a Wrigley's Spearmint Gum wrapper to wave at guards as I went past them on the train from Rochester to Victoria. Suckers. Anarchy, right on.

 

Funny how you always become what you hate the most.

[Rashid]

I don't see the fuss, you need a rail card to be eligible for the discount on the ticket so how was he to know you were not lying? Besides, you can get a refund at the station at a later date by saying you couldn't find the railcard when he stopped you and then found it your bag later.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I think what Chris was saying was that the cunt didn't show the slightest bit of empathy and was deliberately being a smug cunt about it. I agree whether it's there job or not you at the end of the day decide how to conduct yourself whilst doing it, what a pun, back of the net.

[Anny Road]

Buy a car.

[Redder Lurtz]

Agree with Zeke - rules might well be rules, but you don't need to be a twat in imposing them.

 

It works both ways - when you get someone imposing rules on you and it's clear they also think they're shit rules, but can't risk breaking them for you, then it does you no harm to be polite back to them.

 

Let's face it, few of us would do our jobs if we won the lottery. But that train guard probably would, in fact he'd probably by a railway so he could impose even shitter rules.

 

The bloke was doing his job. If we didn't do our jobs we would expect to be fired. It may be a cunty job but someone has to do it. "I forgot my railcard" = pay full price. End of story. Chris shouldn't expect a bloke to put his job on the line just because he can't organise himself properly.

[Flying Pig]

My teenage years were spent being brought up by my scouse parents in the Medway Towns, North Kent. I spent what seemed a large proportion of my youth hanging around Sloane Square and Leicester Square letting American tourists take photos of us with our DMs, leather jackets, mohicans etc. Not once did I ever use anything more than a Wrigley's Spearmint Gum wrapper to wave at guards as I went past them on the train from Rochester to Victoria. Suckers. Anarchy, right on.

 

Funny how you always become what you hate the most.

 

You had a mohican? Please say no.

[Monkeywool]

RL is this man:

 

[Remmie]

They get commision on each ticket they get.

[dave u]

Anyone who works in the train industry is an absolute cunt. Especially Ted and Monty.

[johnb]

I don't see the fuss, you need a rail card to be eligible for the discount on the ticket so how was he to know you were not lying? Besides, you can get a refund at the station at a later date by saying you couldn't find the railcard when he stopped you and then found it your bag later.

 

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...I know everything blah, blah, blah...

 

Can you not see that the fuss is that:

a) Chris said he'd send proof on (ie, he wouldn't do that were he lying)

and that

b) These cunts are robots and have no human side?

 

My experiences are exactly the same with these cunts.

[Guest Ulysses Everett McGill]

Anyone who works in the train industry is an absolute cunt. Especially Ted and Monty.

 

Nah, Ted's ok

[bobhorse]

I and countless other Scousers have bunked blagged our way across Europe have you ever stopped to think how many times a day week month year that conductor gets fucked over

 

I think that sometimes effects their attitud

 

I liken this to getting stopped by the Police speeding in your car, you try to plead for them to turn a blind eye but when you know that they arny going to you just stop and say ok give me the ticket and i will be on my way

 

you feel they are cunts at the time but the fact is you drove at the speed they stopped you for so you cant blame a guy for doing his job as shit as it might be

[RedinSweden]

I got into a massive argument with a twat of a conductor. i was sat in first class (due to the bizarre way they price tickets here according to demand, the first class ticket can sometimes be cheaper) and a woman, probably about 50 odd came and sat in a seat nearby. The conductor came and she had a ticket for 2nd class, but she explained that it was heaving and she was knackered so she had gone to sit in first class. He said that didn't matter and that she would have to pay a surplus as well as an extra charge for having to upgrade on the train. She asked him to be kind and just let her stay there. Bear in mind it was half empty in 1st class, I mean i had my bag on the seat next to me as there was plenty of room.

 

He was having none of it, so I asked him why i was allowed to have my bag on a seat that i hadn't paid for and yet she couldn't sit on one. His answer was the usual waffle about policy bla bla bla. So I asked if she could stay there until first class was full (which has never happened in all the times I've been in there, or walked through). No, that wasn't OK either, so I asked the woman if she would like swap tickets with me and I could go and stand instead as i really didn't mind, but she wouldn't. Instead she just gave up and went back into the second class. So I told him exactly what i thought of him.

 

What a fucking twat. And don't defend him by saying he was doing his job. He wasn't, he was being a twat.

[Guest TK-421]

Come on RiS, he was just doing his job.

[Tom R]

I got into a massive argument with a twat of a conductor. i was sat in first class (due to the bizarre way they price tickets here according to demand, the first class ticket can sometimes be cheaper) and a woman, probably about 50 odd came and sat in a seat nearby. The conductor came and she had a ticket for 2nd class, but she explained that it was heaving and she was knackered so she had gone to sit in first class. He said that didn't matter and that she would have to pay a surplus as well as an extra charge for having to upgrade on the train. She asked him to be kind and just let her stay there. Bear in mind it was half empty in 1st class, I mean i had my bag on the seat next to me as there was plenty of room.

 

He was having none of it, so I asked him why i was allowed to have my bag on a seat that i hadn't paid for and yet she couldn't sit on one. His answer was the usual waffle about policy bla bla bla. So I asked if she could stay there until first class was full (which has never happened in all the times I've been in there, or walked through). No, that wasn't OK either, so I asked the woman if she would like swap tickets with me and I could go and stand instead as i really didn't mind, but she wouldn't. Instead she just gave up and went back into the second class. So I told him exactly what i thought of him.

 

What a fucking twat. And don't defend him by saying he was doing his job. He wasn't, he was being a twat.

 

Deffo. It's the old traffic warden line isn't it - "I'm just doing my job".

 

Fuck off you massive cunt. You have to be a massive cunt in the first place to be a traffic warden. You were a massive cunt first, and a traffic warden second.

 

Die.

[RedinSweden]

I have just remembered another run in I had.

 

This was in the days when I commuted to Stockholm. I used to have a credit card type pass that you waved in front of a machine to stamp it. It was a monthly pass, but for some reason you had to register each journey anyway. I was crap at remembering but all the conductors didn't mind as they could see it was a valid pass on their machines, just that it wasn't stamped. The odd one would ask you to stamp it when you got off (I was told it was for statistical reasons).

 

Anyway, there was one conductor who was a right cow, I mean a real bitch. She was coming along checking the cards and she tore a strip of this woman for some reason or another. This was a 45-50 year old passenger, looked like an office worker, who had a month pass but had problem with the machine. Anyway she said to this woman that she had to get off at the next stop which was where I was getting off.

 

Then she got to me and I took out my pass and as I was handing it over i realised I had forgotten to stamp it. I knew this would be a problem so I said "Oh, wait, I have forgotten to stamp it, I'll have to buy a single". She just "Don't try that" and snatched it out of my hand. Then she started writing out a fine payment slip as I didn't have a valid ticket. I was fucking livid. She then asked me my name and I refused to give it to her. She said she would have to have me thrown of the train at the next stop. As this was my stop it wasn't much of a threat. So i said "OK, Ken Brightnightlight" (or some such pro evo 3 related nonsense), In the end she gave up, but gave me the fine and confiscated my month pass (which I had only bought the day before and they cost about 100 quid).

 

When I got off the train i went to the woman who had been kicked off the train and asked if she wanted to write a joint letter to the train company. We did this and we got a response immediately saying that they had other complaints and the woman had been moved to a different job. We each got 200 quid in travel vouchers too.

 

Good triumphed over evil!

[Naz17]

Must be some of the most incompassionate, jobsworth cunts in the history of the entire planet. In my experience, they have not one ounce of sentiment in their entire bodies.

 

I forgot my railcard today and couldn't get home in time to pick it up, so decided to take a chance. I got as far as Wolverhampton without being checked and thought I was home and dry. Moment I get on the next train, this off the reservation cocksucker, horrible fat cunt (like fucking putrid and massive) is like "tickets, railcards and passes".

 

Fuck.

 

Anyway, he asks for my railcard, and I'm say: "I'll be really honest with you, man. I had to change everything from one bag to this one as I'm testing it for work. My railcard was in that one. I do have one and if you can give me a bill or something on the condition of producing my railcard then fair enough. My mistake."

 

He takes the ticket off me, the only sound coming from massive gob is the heavy breathing and starts punching numbers into his little keypad.

 

His next words are "£25.45"

 

I'll like come on man, cut me a break, I have a railcard, I just don't have it with me, I explained to you."

 

He's all like, "you don't have a railcard with you, so your ticket doesn't exist."

 

The arrogant fucking cunt. I tried to be polite and he was just obnoxious, the mealy mouthed fuck. That's my experience with practically every train conductor I've ever encountered. They're like mobile traffic wardens.

 

You just can't talk to these people. How the fuck do they sleep at night.

 

I should have argued more, but really didn't have the energy after a long-ass week, so I just said, "not exactly brimming with human compassion you people, are you?" and handed over my card.

 

He just shrugged and gave me the thing to sign.

 

It's little wonder that so many acts of violence and abuse occur against these jobsworth fuckers. They're just so fucking twattable. Cunts.

 

I agree they're not the happiest bunch. This has happened to me before, all you have to do is write to the train provider and tell them you had a railcard and they should refund the penalty.

[AVEEZ]

You bunch of moaning fucking pussys..

 

So he's a twat.. big deal he wouldnt get the chance to be a twat if you werent doing something you should be in the first place..why the fuck should he be polite or the traffic wardens for that matter..they get paid to stop people breaking the rules not to pander to your ideas of courtesey.. they not in customer services there in rule enfocement. It wouldnt kill them to be nice but with the amount of abuse they generally get its to be expected that they dont bend over backwards to help you out.