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Manchester United 0 Liverpool 5 (Oct 24 2021)

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Report by
Dave Usher

 

Where I do even start with this? It’s one for the ages. Biggest win at Old Trafford for over a hundred years or something. It was an absolute fucking beatdown and United were utterly humiliated. The funny thing is we were probably only at about 75%.

 

We played well but we definitely have another gear we can go to if needed. It wasn’t needed because United are so flawed and we were so clinical on the day. It was billed as Ronaldo v Salah and it did feel like a passing of the torch moment. Any claim to the throne Ronaldo may still think he has was dismissed out of hand by the Egyptian King going into his back yard and taking the fucking piss.

 

At this moment in time there is no-one in the world better at football than Mo Salah and he proved it beyond doubt on this stage. United might be shite but it’s still Old Trafford and it’s a huge game. The eyes of the world were on it and Mo put Ronaldo over his knee and spanked him.

 

This was almost surreal at times. That moment when Sky showed a fucking fuming Alex Ferguson and then cut to a beaming Kenny was just iconic. What a fucking moment that was. Kudos to that director, that was fucking phenomenal TV.

 

In hindsight it’s easy to look back on this and go “yeah, what we were even worried about? That’s how it’s supposed to happen.” Football is rarely like that though and this is a notoriously bad ground for us. We won there last year and although there were no fans there I was hoping that maybe it will have given the players confidence that they can win at Old Trafford. 

 

City have been horrendous at Anfield but won there last season in an empty stadium. It’s easy for us to say “it means nothing” but clearly it meant something to them because this season they came here and played better than I’ve ever seen play here. 

 

I was hoping a similar thing would happen with us, and specifically Mo. He’s usually been shite at Old Trafford. Really bad. But he was boss there last season and maybe that changed something in him and gave him confidence to do it again. And he sure fucking did. Wow.

 

I was neither confident nor pessimistic going into this. I had absolutely no clue what to expect, but when I saw the starting eleven my shoulders did slump a little. Konate in for Matip was a weird one. Protecting Joel makes sense, but it seemed like an odd time to throw Konate in, especially when Gomez is available.

 

Klopp said they saw something when analysing United that made them think Konate was a good fit for the game. No idea what it was, but they were right because Konate was fucking boss. Looked completely at home and not overawed at all, even though he was up against someone with the reputation of Ronaldo.

 

The midfield was a concern too. No Fabinho? Fucks sake. He’s one of the first names on the teamsheet in big games as he’s so important. I know United’s midfield is shite, but the quality they have up front is beyond question so you want Fabinho there stopping the likes of Fernandes getting on the ball.

 

Hendo, Keita and Milner isn’t going to inspire massive confidence in a fixture we’ve found so difficult in the past. Milner shouldn’t have been anywhere the starting eleven having played twice this week already, while it was a big call to retain faith in Naby after what happened in midweek.

 

The Milner decision was proven to be a mistake but Keita absolutely justified his inclusion. He was boss and was as influential as anybody in what we did in the first half.

 

I’m made up with 5-0 as beforehand I’d have snatched your hands off for any kind of win and the performance didn’t really matter. Because it’s them, because it’s there, I’d have taken any win I can get.

 

This is just a teaser, click here to view the full report

 

Please note that Match Reports are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 

 

 

 

 

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Mad that observation about Maguire’s cost. They’re fucking shite at everything these Mancs, now. 

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"There was an element of “stop hitting them, they’re already dead” about this. The thing is though, I’d have been kicking that corpse until my feet hurt. Then I’d have pissed on it, set it on fire, and then pissed on the ashes."

 

Greatest paragraph ever written. Makes it feel like Ivan Drago went easy on Apollo. 

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Top lexiconography with 'maturation' there, Dave!

 

Great report. I know what you mean about playing ping pong for the last near 30 minutes but I didnt want any more injuries. I really think a few mancs would have flown into tackles and not really cared if they'd have broken bones if we'd have rattled in a few more.

 

Just seeing all the glum faces on united's bench more than made up for a lack of more goals. What must sancho be thinking?

 

I didnt think Taylor had a good game. He must be the only ref to play a full 3 minutes added time with the score at 5-0, 11 v 10 and everyone knowing the game was finished 30 minutes previous. Wasnt there a UEFA ref recently who had 6 minutes of added time but blew on 90 minutes in similar circumstances because he knew everyone just wanted to fuck off? Might even have been one of our CL games?

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You took your time today Dave but worth waiting for. 
 

Agree that we should have knocked in a few more, and I was disgusted when I thought Ronaldo had scored. I think any edge went out of the game when Keita was stretchered off, which probably saved them even bigger humiliation. 

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Best game Bobby has had in yonks.Others get the plaudits rightfully but Booby pulled those cunts every which way creating the space to run riot.

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"There was an element of “stop hitting them, they’re already dead” about this. The thing is though, I’d have been kicking that corpse until my feet hurt. Then I’d have pissed on it, set it on fire, and then pissed on the ashes. This is Manchester United. I wanted to absolutely destroy them"

 

That's the truest words I've ever read. I may just make this my first ever tattoo

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Great report. I'm pretty sure the sending off had a negative impact on us, not just because of the injury to Keita, but also the fact they reverted to damage limitation.

 

With 11 men, they'd have wanted to score, and may have even brought on more attackers.


As for Keita, he looked to be occupying Elliott's position from earlier in the season. He's clearly going to be way more effective there than in the Gini role, which Milner was occupying.

 

I think he'd have started regardless. Milner comes in for Fabinho, I reckon.

 

I also thought it was Hendo's best performance for us this season, by a distance.

 

Also, you missed out Trent's piledriver that brought a brilliant save from De Gea.

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Great read Dave,totally agree we should have made then have it and gone all out for more goals,they were shite and there for the taking.

How bad is maguire?like a kid in the school yard just chasing the ball blindly. Long may it continue. 

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3 hours ago, Chris said:

 

That's much cleverer than I thought it was going to be.

 

The Ronaldo / Virg / Fernandes / Konate sequence was class!

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4 hours ago, dockers_strike said:

I didnt think Taylor had a good game. He must be the only ref to play a full 3 minutes added time with the score at 5-0, 11 v 10 and everyone knowing the game was finished 30 minutes previous. Wasnt there a UEFA ref recently who had 6 minutes of added time but blew on 90 minutes in similar circumstances because he knew everyone just wanted to fuck off? Might even have been one of our CL games?

 

He'd probably get in trouble for that. Their sticklers for the rules here. Jobsworths.

 

3 hours ago, Fred Oldfield said:

Said it before, will say it gain....best team we have ever had....and best manager...

 

Agreed. 

 

1 hour ago, m0e said:

I also thought it was Hendo's best performance for us this season, by a distance.

 

Also, you missed out Trent's piledriver that brought a brilliant save from De Gea.

 

Hendo was class yeah. That save from De Gea was unreal. He had no business saving that one.

 

3 minutes ago, halewood pete said:

How bad is maguire?like a kid in the school yard just chasing the ball blindly. Long may it continue. 

 

Goldbridge described him and Shaw as like a pair of knackered dogs in the park with their tongues out panting.

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Klopp shouted at the players to be sensible and definitely said "clean sheet". I'd say he saw we were down to 3 fit midfielders and just wanted to get the fuck out of dodge with the rest still walking. 

 

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6 minutes ago, Razoray said:

Klopp shouted at the players to be sensible and definitely said "clean sheet". I'd say he saw we were down to 3 fit midfielders and just wanted to get the fuck out of dodge with the rest still walking. 

 

This 100%

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On the day and the opportunity to get more goals against them it was an excellent opportunity missed. Totally humiliation would have been great, 8/9 even 10 goals were possible. Our boys are too nice for that and settled for the 5. 

How good would it have been if Keane was there, he'd have went nuts and made great viewing. 

Gave our manc wank Co worker a terrible time today. Cunts. 

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