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Bruce Spanner

Chess?

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2 minutes ago, Numero said:

Mate, I nearly smashed my phone. I swear my rook was coving the queen! VAR fucked me. 

 

Like chumps we both gave our Queens away through getting giddy.

 

Same again soon!

 

You were my 200th game.

 

I don’t normally play on desktop so I’m putting that down as the reason for my shoddiness.

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Im absolutely fucking shit at chess. Think I'm learning openings but it goes completely out of my head after the first move. Was on chess.com after my op and got giddy when my blitz went from 198 to 500. Back down to 300 now after losing 12 games in a row.

 

Set up a new account username KMD777.  I'll be on tomorrow evening if anyone wants a boost to their ego

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1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

I once got beat by Fools Mate. I know! Unbelievable. 

I only heard about fools mate this week on you tube. I'm actually staggered it hasnt happened to me yet

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9 hours ago, KMD7 said:

I only heard about fools mate this week on you tube. I'm actually staggered it hasnt happened to me yet

It was in a primary school chess tournament, first round against a lad called Stuart Todd.  The fact it was approximately 38 years ago tells you I’m not quite over it yet.  
 

I had the last laugh though, he’s on the register now (not the chess register).  

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9 hours ago, KMD7 said:

I only heard about fools mate this week on you tube. I'm actually staggered it hasnt happened to me yet


There’s some bad nobheads on the website who play three move check mate all the time as it’s a piss easy way to pick up cheap wins against newcomers
 

Once you see it you can counter it easily, but it still pisses you off. 

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I was in the chess team at school, although I wasn't great I did have my moments. I've been looking around or a nice chess set as I want to teach my granddaughter how to play chess when the social distancing stuff ends. She's 7, so we may begin with draughts and then progress to chess but she's already voiced an interest in playing chess. 

 

 

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These kids who are really good at chess weird me out, it'd proper freak me out if it was my kid. It's only socially acceptable if they're Chinese.

 

"Hey dad wanna lose in three moves?"

 

"No, do you wanna be sold to a Ugandan child army in exchange for a Lion bar and a VHS tape of Zulu Dawn? If so keep it up."

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When I was maybe 10 or 11 my friend and I tried to invent Chess 2, with Rooks that could move in L shapes, Queens that could move like a Knight etc. Had a few practice games and realised several problems arose. If we had solved them fame and fortune we're certain. 

 

I found some sketches clearing out the garage yesterday:

 

 

IMG_20201129_204245.jpg

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I've been playing chess badly for 40 years though i once beat one of the old guys who play every day in the park.  I will go on to chess.com as colonel kurtz so happy to have a game. 

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28 minutes ago, Remmie said:

When I was maybe 10 or 11 my friend and I tried to invent Chess 2, with Rooks that could move in L shapes, Queens that could move like a Knight etc. Had a few practice games and realised several problems arose. If we had solved them fame and fortune we're certain. 

 

I found some sketches clearing out the garage yesterday:

 

 

IMG_20201129_204245.jpg

They look like sketches by the Chapman brothers. 

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29 minutes ago, Remmie said:

When I was maybe 10 or 11 my friend and I tried to invent Chess 2, with Rooks that could move in L shapes, Queens that could move like a Knight etc. Had a few practice games and realised several problems arose. If we had solved them fame and fortune we're certain. 

 

I found some sketches clearing out the garage yesterday:

 

 

IMG_20201129_204245.jpg

Was your friend phillyhamann?

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12 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

I once got beat by Fools Mate. I know! Unbelievable. 

That is the only move I know if any one blocks it I make my excuses and leave

 

 

Besides chess if for pussies three dimensional chess is where it's at

 

 A History of Three-Dimensional Chess | Geek and Sundry

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19 minutes ago, Stickman said:

That is the only move I know if any one blocks it I make my excuses and leave

 

 

Besides chess if for pussies three dimensional chess is where it's at

 

 A History of Three-Dimensional Chess | Geek and Sundry

I had a 3D chess set once, no idea what happened to it. Never got chance to get into it.

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18 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

I had a 3D chess set once, no idea what happened to it. Never got chance to get into it.

Probably needed the glasses 

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You fucking harsh bastards, I was a 10 year old prodigy that just couldn't draw. 

 

*cry wanks*

 

Just me and the kids now hun

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1 hour ago, Remmie said:

You fucking harsh bastards, I was a 10 year old prodigy that just couldn't draw. 

 

*cry wanks*

 

Just me and the kids now hun

Chin up mate, you could have a great career in sex toy design.

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15 hours ago, Numero said:

I’ve been playing quite a bit this week. I am fucking horrific. 

Spider-Man Pointing at Spider-Man | Know Your Meme

 

What's your ELO? I bet you're on about 1800 and calling yourself shite!

 

I play on gameknot. I rush and this is my downfall.

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