little things that annoy the shit out of you

[VladimirIlyich]

thanks for clarifying what you meant there Vlad.

I thought the shrapnel you caught there might still cause amnesia.

[Liverpool lad]

Scouse birds starting a sentence with

 

'I'm not being funny but'

 

Normally means they are being a cunt or Operation Be A Cunt is about to commence

 

[Champ]

Scouse birds starting a sentence with

 

'I'm not being funny but'

 

Normally means they are being a cunt or Operation Be A Cunt is about to commence

A favourite round here is, 'She's a lovely person but....'

 

And then the exact opposite comes out. I really don't get that one

[RoboRiise]

Going to eat the last one of a four pack of Snickers and realising that you ate it last night.

[Harry Squatter]

Scouse birds starting a sentence with'I'm not being funny but'Normally means they are being a cunt or Operation Be A Cunt is about to commence

If you locked ten Scouse birds in a room for a few hours at least two of them would come out with fractured eye sockets, scratched faces, pulled hair or tears down their faces ruining all their make up. Nine if alcohol is involved.

[A Red]

"Yeah I know, but he/she would do anything for you, they'd give you their last pound"

 

This is usually said to describe a controlling twat of a bastard that is never actually put to the test. Even if they did do it, it would be to gain themselves an edge.

[Red Dawn]

Tailgating. Cunt did it to me on the motorway this morning even though there was a car in front of me and we were passing 2 trucks.

Slammed on the brakes and flipped him the bird when I let him by. Cunt.

[bouncebrigade]

A favourite round here is, 'She's a lovely person but....'

 

And then the exact opposite comes out. I really don't get that one

 

I'm not racist but...

[bouncebrigade]

Stupid hoes who go straight to the top of the queue for the bus.

 

Oh yeah, don't mind me, I've just been standing here for twenty minutes freezing my stones off while three buses have gone past full but you walk straight past me to the front you little self-centred weapon.

[stringvest]

Going to eat the last one of a four pack of Snickers and realising that you ate it last night.

 

That sort of thing is a massive downer and can affect your whole day.  

[stringvest]

I thought the shrapnel you caught there might still cause amnesia.

 

No mate.  Just a small but slightly irritating pain in the arse.

[Bjornebye]

Tailgating. Cunt did it to me on the motorway this morning even though there was a car in front of me and we were passing 2 trucks.

Slammed on the brakes and flipped him the bird when I let him by. Cunt.

 

Talk to me goose 

[Champ]

The Christmas time drivers. I dont know how they get about the rest of the year but come this time of year they're everywhere...little old people, foreheads practically touching the steering wheel, driving along about 23 miles an hour without a care in the world. Or any idea that there's a massive queue of cars behind them because they cant raise their heads to look in the rear view mirror

[Mook]

Stop & chats, especially stop & chats in the toilet at work, 'I'm in here for a piss, not to discuss your fantasy Football fucking team'.

[Red Dawn]

Stop & chats, especially stop & chats in the toilet at work, 'I'm in here for a piss, not to discuss your fantasy Football fucking team'.

 

haha..fucking hate them...i usually keep my legs moving forward talking back over my shoulder if some cunt tries one on me

[Trumo]

haha..fucking hate them...i usually keep my legs moving forward talking back over my shoulder if some cunt tries one on me

 

I had to re-read that as I thought you were saying you want them to shut the fuck up while they're ramming your hoop.

[VladimirIlyich]

No mate. Just a small but slightly irritating pain in the arse.

Im not small(unless you've been talking to the wife!) but i am as irritating as undies made from a hessian sack.

[Rico1304]

The Christmas time drivers. I dont know how they get about the rest of the year but come this time of year they're everywhere...little old people, foreheads practically touching the steering wheel, driving along about 23 miles an hour without a care in the world. Or any idea that there's a massive queue of cars behind them because they cant raise their heads to look in the rear view mirror

We went to JL today, in the space of 5 mins in the car park 3 old biddies tried to drive into me. Every one only stopped reversing when I hammered the horn. One daft old fucker was driving one of those massive 4 seater trucks, I thought he was going to drive over me at one point.

[Liverpool lad]

People commenting on things they know fuck all about.

 

People who whinge about things they know fuck all about

 

Crying cunts in general

 

People driving round with not all their lights in full working order on their car, and think that having one headlight out can be compensated by having the other on full beam. Especially if the cunt is driving a taxi

 

Thick people who rather than take a long hard look at themselves prefer to attribute anybody else getting ahead to them being jammy or in the right place at the right time

 

And the next one should be a rant.........

 

People who know fuck all about something, ask your advice and then ignore you anyway.  I have some examples that I will not share on a public forum, but one I will share with you is that of a lad I know of who bought a car that made the original LL mobile look decent.  The only problem was that he had paid top dollar for this from Carcraft, neglected to do anything towards its upkeep, drove it like the Jason Plato, and then looked surprised when it failed its MOT and a bill of £500 was presented to him by the con artists at the dealership.  The lad obviously shit himself and sought advise from a friend of the family (my dad's mate) and left the car with him.

 

So my dad and his mate who had been left with it, both are pretty handy with cars and took pity on the lad who wasn't in a position to be paying £500 for the repairs.  Worth noting that my dad works shifts and often is at a loose end during his days off.  He works as a Mechanical fitter and when you read on, you will see what a competitive rate he charged for his time.

 

They surveyed the problem and concluded it needed a full service, rear suspension on the back left replaced, replacement tyre and a few other bits.  So my dad, who loves getting covered in oil, went to his mates scrap yard to get the rear suspension (at a discount) and made sure they were taken from a good car, then had the tyre replaced at another friend's business (again at a discount), then fixed the engine management problem with a simple service as the engine management light had come on due to an issue with the spark plugs and turned the engine management light off as they had the extension for doing it

 

So the parts came to around £100 and when the lad came to collect the car, my dad said just give us £150 as two of them spent a while on it and that equated to £25 each for their afternoon's labour and petrol.  This gave the lad a saving of £350, and my dad could tell people he had done his good deed for the day helping somebody who has paid too much for a car and in these times of austerity, needed help.

 

As he left my dad gave him a small list of things to do in order to prolong the life of this car, one of which was go and get your tracking sorted ASAP as this had been the problem with the tyre, keep on top on your levels, etc and stop driving like a tit.  The lad was informed that there was still plenty of life left in the car provided it was looked after correctly from now on and given the name of a garage who if you mention you were sent in by my dad and his friend, they will look after you and will certainly not try and pull your pants down at MOT time.

 

 

All this advice was ignored and the car was dead within 6 months

[Original202]

People leaving their wheelie bins out in the street for ages after they've been emptied. They don't belong on the pavement cluttering it up and looking a mess, they belong on your property.

 

Hashtags on twitter that don't mean anything. I get it for things that lots of people are discussing, but when it's just an individual posting something on their own it doesn't make any sense #dontunderstandwhypeoplebother #wheresthefuckinghashtagonamac?

[3 Colours Red]

Walking towards a cash point machine, 50 yards away and there is no one there. When you arrive, people have come out of nowhere and your are 5th in the queue. Added to this, the 4 in front do not appear to have ever used a cash machine before.

[Trumo]

The rule about cash machines is that everybody in front of you WILL be a dithering fuckwit.

[Champ]

We went to JL today, in the space of 5 mins in the car park 3 old biddies tried to drive into me. Every one only stopped reversing when I hammered the horn. One daft old fucker was driving one of those massive 4 seater trucks, I thought he was going to drive over me at one point.

 

Exactly. I was going to type 'little old people in their Nissan Micras' and while I lot do drive these kind of vehicles there are loads in big fancy powerful cars driving around, barely getting out of second gear, oblivious to the trouble they are causing

[bouncebrigade]

Casual cunts who want a coffee in the morning when you really really need one.

[halewood pete]

Drunken youths who offer violence to you because they perceive that you have stolen their taxi because you have walked down the road 100 metres further than them and flagged a cab down.

I was quite happy to engage them in combat until the following facts were quickly and rightly pointed out by my wife.

1.I was quite drunk

2.I am 57

3.there were four of them, late teens, early twenties, two of them running toward us.

 

Discretion being the better part of valour,we jumped. In the cab and headed to halewood giving the lads a cheery wave as we passed them.

It could have got nasty!

Woolton village,never a dull moment.

I shall return tomorrow to watch a certain sporting event in one of the many fine pubs and clubs,probably the quarry (ex.British legion)

Good night all.