little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Captain Willard]

16 hours ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

There's something faintly beeping every five seconds from a house across the way. On a quiet night, with the windows open, it's driving me spare.

 

Might go and see if I can find it tomorrow.

Our washing machine beeps at the end of the cycle. Needy fucker beeps continuously until you turn it off. I hate it. 

[DJLJ]

5 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Our washing machine beeps at the end of the cycle. Needy fucker beeps continuously until you turn it off. I hate it. 

Ours is the same. Our dishwasher also. Annoying as feck. But I simply will not bow down to the utter utter loss of manhood thats required to read the manual. Then better to stay annoyed till end of days!

[Mook]

On 25/11/2022 at 07:21, Bjornebye said:

Some of the very attractive assistans in Succession who don't have a speaking role and are impossible to track down via google for the radar thread. Gerri in season 2 has an absolutely stunning blonde one but fucked if I can find out who she is. 

 

 

 

And probably one to upgrade to the rant thread but they are all wearing clothes. 

 

@Trumo is usually on the ball at finding obscure/fit birds.

[Captain Willard]

8 minutes ago, DJLJ said:

Ours is the same. Our dishwasher also. Annoying as feck. But I simply will not bow down to the utter utter loss of manhood thats required to read the manual. Then better to stay annoyed till end of days!

Real men don’t read manuals. 

[Section_31]

17 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Our washing machine beeps at the end of the cycle. Needy fucker beeps continuously until you turn it off. I hate it. 

Our used to do an actual song that lasted about 20 seconds. Broke now thankfully.

[Harry's Lad]

4 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Our used to do an actual song that lasted about 20 seconds. Broke now thankfully.

Ours does.

The dogs go to the back door as soon as it comes on because they know my missus will be going to hang the washing out.

[Bjornebye]

16 minutes ago, Mook said:

 

@Trumo is usually on the ball at finding obscure/fit birds.

 

@Trumo 

[sir roger]

2 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Our washing machine beeps at the end of the cycle. Needy fucker beeps continuously until you turn it off. I hate it. 

 

As a counterpoint to this, the Ninja only emits one short beep once and stops. I have on more than one occasion been sidelined by something and found sausages in there looking like something from Quincy's table a few hours later.

[Captain Willard]

The BCC function on e mails. It’s a sneaky snidey fuckers option, the e mail equivalent of whispering. I hate anyone who uses it. 

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

The BCC function on e mails. It’s a sneaky snidey fuckes option, the e mail equivalent of whispering. I hate anyone who uses it. 

 

Yeah he's a murdering cunt defo shags kids

 

 

 

 

 

What? 

[Captain Willard]

Dads who take their kids football far far too seriously. My eldest son plays in division 7 of the Surrey youth league. 2 weeks ago they lost a match 3.2 and we had a late goal disallowed for offside. One of the dads videoed the game from a camera on a long pole and 2 weeks later, dads are still sharing the video and fuming  in Whatspp about the offside. One of them has even tried to impose VAR type lines on the video. It’s division 7 for under 13s ffs. 

[johnsusername]

Father Christmas. 

 

When I was a kid, you'd go to a grotto or department store, queue up for a bit then meet Father Christmas for five minutes. You'd tell him what you wanted for Christmas and you'd get a little toy. DONE. 

 

Nowadays it's all a big money making, hours long event. So you can't see him anywhere unless you pay out and book months in advance. It's all "MAGICAL FAMILY EXPERIENCE" at a garden centre or adventure park.

 

I just want my kids to meet fucking Santa for a few minutes. I don't want a fucking three hour magical family experience which costs a tonne.

 

Just another example of modern shite. 

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, johnsusername said:

Father Christmas. 

 

When I was a kid, you'd go to a grotto or department store, queue up for a bit then meet Father Christmas for five minutes. You'd tell him what you wanted for Christmas and you'd get a little toy. DONE. 

 

Nowadays it's all a big money making, hours long event. So you can't see him anywhere unless you pay out and book months in advance. It's all "MAGICAL FAMILY EXPERIENCE" at a garden centre or adventure park.

 

I just my kids to meet fucking Santa for a few minutes. I don't want a fucking three hour magical family experience which costs a tonne.

 

Just another example of modern shite. 

 

Everything is all about fleecing the fuck out of people. Some of the pricing at that xmas market in town is a disgrace. I've not been down but there was an article on the echo, absolute rip off merchants. 

 

When I was a kid you'd pay a couple of quid sit on his knee tell him you wnt a bike then get touched up and fucked off with a selection box. 

[manwiththestick]

13 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

 

Everything is all about fleecing the fuck out of people. Some of the pricing at that xmas market in town is a disgrace. I've not been down but there was an article on the echo, absolute rip off merchants. 

 

When I was a kid you'd pay a couple of quid sit on his knee tell him you wnt a bike then get touched up and fucked off with a selection box. 

On the theme of rip off Christmas shit.

 

She wanted to book tickets for us and the kids to go to an evening Christmas trail walk at Delamere Forest as apparently they've hung some lights of trees. For two adults and two kids it's 90 quid.

 

I told her I'd rather go in the day time for free, walk around for an hour and I'll play Jona Lewie through a Bluetooth speaker on repeat.

 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, manwiththestick said:

On the theme of rip off Christmas shit.

 

She wanted to book tickets for us and the kids to go to an evening Christmas trail walk at Delamere Forest as apparently they've hung some lights of trees. For two adults and two kids it's 90 quid.

 

I told her I'd rather go in the day time for free, walk around for an hour and I'll play Jona Lewie through a Bluetooth speaker on repeat.

 

That’s an absolute disgrace 

[Captain Turdseye]

3 hours ago, johnsusername said:

Father Christmas. 

 

When I was a kid, you'd go to a grotto or department store, queue up for a bit then meet Father Christmas for five minutes. You'd tell him what you wanted for Christmas and you'd get a little toy. DONE. 

 

Nowadays it's all a big money making, hours long event. So you can't see him anywhere unless you pay out and book months in advance. It's all "MAGICAL FAMILY EXPERIENCE" at a garden centre or adventure park.

 

I just want my kids to meet fucking Santa for a few minutes. I don't want a fucking three hour magical family experience which costs a tonne.

 

Just another example of modern shite. 

 

I didn’t even get that. It used to be the same fella dressing up as Santa every year in the St Ambrose pub in Speke, which was a chance for all the adults to get pissed under the pretence of it being a kids Xmas party. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

4 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

 

Everything is all about fleecing the fuck out of people. Some of the pricing at that xmas market in town is a disgrace. I've not been down but there was an article on the echo, absolute rip off merchants. 

 

When I was a kid you'd pay a couple of quid sit on his knee tell him you wnt a bike then get touched up and fucked off with a selection box. 

All I can say is you should not have been going to the grotto in Walton nick.

[Captain Willard]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

I didn’t even get that. It used to be the same fella dressing up as Santa every year in the St Ambrose pub in Speke, which was a chance for all the adults to get pissed under the pretence of it being a kids Xmas party. 

There’s the opening paragraph of your autobiography. 

[Clem H Fandango]

Ear buds.

 

Why put a warning on the packet of 'dont stick into ear canal?'.

[Dave D]

On 28/11/2022 at 10:52, manwiththestick said:

On the theme of rip off Christmas shit.

 

She wanted to book tickets for us and the kids to go to an evening Christmas trail walk at Delamere Forest as apparently they've hung some lights of trees. For two adults and two kids it's 90 quid.

 

I told her I'd rather go in the day time for free, walk around for an hour and I'll play Jona Lewie through a Bluetooth speaker on repeat.

 

I was at a Christmas market at the weeknd- the obligatory bratwurst stall was there- a bargain £8 for a hot dog!

 

Happily for me they were given a pitch right opposite a very good chippy- how I chortled as I ate my £4 jumbo sausage and generously salted and vinegared chips.

 

In your face Bratwurst fascists

[VladimirIlyich]

On 28/11/2022 at 08:53, Captain Willard said:

Dads who take their kids football far far too seriously. My eldest son plays in division 7 of the Surrey youth league. 2 weeks ago they lost a match 3.2 and we had a late goal disallowed for offside. One of the dads videoed the game from a camera on a long pole and 2 weeks later, dads are still sharing the video and fuming  in Whatspp about the offside. One of them has even tried to impose VAR type lines on the video. It’s division 7 for under 13s ffs. 

I had to book a kid with one arm the other week and I still feel terrible about it. And no it wasn't for handball you heartless cunts!

[stringvest]

4 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I had to book a kid with one arm the other week and I still feel terrible about it. And no it wasn't for handball you heartless cunts!

 

sounds like a bandit to me

[Mudface]

7 hours ago, Clem H Fandango said:

Ear buds.

 

Why put a warning on the packet of 'dont stick into ear canal?'.

 

Not sure if you mean shit headphones for phones or things to clean your ears with. If the latter, it's similar to 'don't smoke fags, you'll get cancer', once you've bought a packet of Marlboro. Although rather less dramatic.

 

Don't put ear buds in your ears, kids.

[Champ]

On 28/11/2022 at 10:52, manwiththestick said:

On the theme of rip off Christmas shit.

 

She wanted to book tickets for us and the kids to go to an evening Christmas trail walk at Delamere Forest as apparently they've hung some lights of trees. For two adults and two kids it's 90 quid.

 

I told her I'd rather go in the day time for free, walk around for an hour and I'll play Jona Lewie through a Bluetooth speaker on repeat.

 

You forgot to mention the hot drinks and hot dog stalls conveniently placed as you reach the end of the whole sorry experience. That’ll be another £40+

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Champ said:

You forgot to mention the hot drinks and hot dog stalls conveniently placed as you reach the end of the whole sorry experience. That’ll be another £40+

 

Everything is conveniently placed Cath. Give me them dangling red and gold decorations from each corner of the ceiling and a passed down elf with an open toe. 

 

It's all about money these days and they expoloit the kids.