North Korea gettin' all Gangnam up in this bitch.

[Spy Bee]

Funny, our Korea man didn't turn up today either, and it's a bastard because I really needed the package to arrive tomorrow.

[Strontium]

the return of Red Wedge.  Cool.

perhaps the LDs can introduce their own cultural movement.  Yellow Streak, perhaps?

My 2015 Lib Dem election slogan would be "Fuck you all you little fuckers" so I'm probably not the best person to comment.

[Lee909]

Last I read he had put on a shit load of weight due to a liking for french cheese and somebody was reporting it has led to him developing gout.

[lifetime fan]

My 2015 Lib Dem election slogan would be "Fuck you all you little fuckers" so I'm probably not the best person to comment.

 

Honesty in politics - it'll never catch on.

[Trumo]

Wherever he is, he's probably feeling a bit ronery.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Last I read he had put on a shit load of weight due to a liking for french cheese and somebody was reporting it has led to him developing gout.

Apparently it is due to ankle injuries as well, sustained due to wearing high heels all the time. Hopefully they'll have to amputate his feet, he'll be all of 3 foot nothing then. 

[Spy Bee]

Last I read he had put on a shit load of weight due to a liking for french cheese and somebody was reporting it has led to him developing gout.

Yes doctor that's right, I have gout due to cheese. Nothing to do with booze, no siree, just partial to a bit of the auld cheese I am!

[Bjornebye]

He is a massive , fat cunt. With a shit hair-cut. 

[Scott_M]

He's not been seen since those Jennifer Lawrence pictures came out.

 

He's probably still sat down with his balls in an ice bucket.

[Trumo]

He's not been seen since those Jennifer Lawrence pictures came out.

 

He's probably still sat down with his balls in an ice bucket.

 

Either that or he's the hacker. Well it's one way to deliver a massive 'fuck you' to the freedoms America and the west believe in.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

He's back. 

 

"Right you fucking scum, I want number 56 with an extra portion of fried rice, number 43, that special roast dog I like, and get me some young boys to molest. Failure to return in one hour with my goodies will lead to this walking stick being rammed p your fucking anus!" 

 

 

"What! you mean it's a fucking bank holiday!!"

 

[Jairzinho]

 

"Is that chicken? You sick fucks."

[Section_31]

Said it before but I'll say it again, you just can't beat Communist military hats, they're peerless, you could literally turn them into a portable dancefloor.

[Lee909]

Kim Jong-Un ‘Just Catching Up On Game Of Thrones’

 

 

World News: 

The month long public absence of Kim Jong-un is due to the North Korean leader catching up on all four seasons of Game of Thrones, officials have claimed.

 

Jong-un has not been seen in public for a month, while a recent state television report said he had an “uncomfortable physical condition” and later showed him limping.

 

“Our leader has simply been getting up to speed on the US imperialist television series Game of Thrones,” said a senior military official. “His limp was from when he accidentally walked into a pile of the DVD’s after a marathon viewing session.”

 

Sources inside North Korea say that Jong-un became addicted to the show after a friend bought him all the box sets at gunpoint – and that he was immediately drawn into the programme due to its key themes of power struggles and the corrupt nature of politics.

 

“Our leader feels particular affinity towards the Lannister family and how they cling on to power,” said a close friend of Jong-un.

 

“He also likes it for the tits.”

 

 

[Anubis]

Doesn't he normally have his missus trailing him. Suspiciously absent.

[Jairzinho]

Doesn't he normally have his missus trailing him. Suspiciously absent.

 

Agreed. He's deffo eaten her.

[Anubis]

Agreed. He's deffo eaten her.

 

 

 

"All this from just my wife? Incredible. Congratulations, General, you are the winner of North Korean Masterchef 2014."

[Sugar Ape]

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/21/world/asia/north-korea-and-south-korea-exchange-rocket-and-artillery-fire.html
 

North Korea and South Korea Trade Fire Across Border, Seoul Says

 

 

SEOUL, South Korea — North and South Korea exchanged rocket and artillery fire across their tense border on Thursday in their first major armed clash in five years, the South’s Defense Ministry said.

No casualties or damage were immediately reported, while both sides warned of more clashes in the coming days.

North Korea said it was convening its Central Military Commission — a top decision-making body run by the country’s leader, Kim Jong-un — on Thursday night after it threatened more military action unless the South stopped broadcasting propaganda.

South Korean military radar detected what appeared to be a North Korean rocket landing in Yeoncheon County, near the border north of Seoul, at 3:52 p.m. Thursday, the Defense Ministry said in a brief statement.

Twenty minutes later, the North carried out another attack, said Col. Jeon Ha-gyu, a South Korean military spokesman. The South Korean news agency Yonhap quoted unnamed military sources as saying that the second attack involved several rounds from a 76.2-millimeter direct-fire weapon.

South Korea responded by firing “dozens” of shells from a 155-millimeter artillery unit, targeting the rocket’s launching point in the North, the ministry said.

“Our military raised its vigilance to the highest level and is closely watching the movement of the North Korean military, ready to respond strongly and decisively to any further provocations from the North,” Colonel Jeon said.

About 220 people from two villages in Yeoncheon were evacuated into underground shelters, said Hong Seong-beom, a county official. Mr. Hong said there were no immediate reports of damage. Some residents of other front-line villages near Yeoncheon were also evacuated as a precaution, military officials said.

North Korea said the South fired 36 artillery shells across the border, some of them falling near its guard posts but not causing injuries, the headquarters of the North’s military, known as the People’s Army, said in a statement carried by the country’s official Korean Central News Agency.

North Korea denied the first rocket attack but did not comment on what South Korea said was a second attack.

“This reckless provocative mania should never go unpunished,” the North said, reporting the emergency meeting of its Central Military Commission.

The North’s attacks followed repeated threats to attack the loudspeakers that South Korea had turned on along the border last week to broadcast propaganda.

In a radio message sent to the South about an hour after the attacks, the North’s military warned that if Seoul did not turn off and dismantle its loudspeakers within 48 hours, it would “embark upon military actions,” the South Korean Defense Ministry said.

President Park Geun-hye convened an emergency meeting of the South’s National Security Council on Thursday and ordered the military to “deal resolutely with any North Korean provocations,” said her spokesman, Min Kyung-wook.

The exchange of fire was the first serious armed clash between the countries since North Korea carried out an artillery attack on a South Korean border island in 2010, killing two marines and two civilians. At the time, South Korea retaliated by pounding gun positions in the North.

In recent years, the two sides have exchanged minor fire, mostly harmless warning shots, across their border. In May of last year, a North Korean patrol boat fired two rounds of artillery, which fell 490 feet from a South Korean Navy ship in waters near a disputed western sea border. The South’s ship responded by firing several rounds of its own.

Tensions have been on the rise along the countries’ heavily armed 155-mile border since Aug. 4, when two South Korean border guards were seriously wounded by land mines that the South said were planted by the North. North Korea has denied planting the mines.

In retaliation, South Korea last week began using loudspeakers along the border to broadcast propaganda messages into North Korea, a tactic dating from the Cold War that had not been used in 11 years. The North turned on propaganda loudspeakers of its own, and it threatened to attack South Korea’s.

Yeoncheon is one of the areas from where the South had begun broadcasting propaganda. The South Korean military said none of its loudspeaker batteries were struck by the rocket.

“The fact that the North only launched one rocket without hitting any South Korean loudspeaker indicates that the North meant it as a warning,” said Koh Yu-hwan, a North Korea expert at Dongguk University in Seoul.

Mr. Koh said that the North was unlikely to escalate the exchange of fire into a major skirmish, given the large-scale joint military exercise — called Ulchi-Freedom Guardian — that the United States and South Korea kicked off this week.

But Cheong Seong-chang, a senior analyst at the Sejong Institute in South Korea, said that the situation could deteriorate if the two sides persisted in “their confrontational posture in which one side’s show of strength is matched by the other side’s tough stance.”

Last October, North Korean soldiers fired machine guns at large balloons released from Yeoncheon by anti-North activists, most of them defectors. Such balloons have frequently sailed across the border carrying leaflets that criticize the North’s government and often depict Mr. Kim as a murderous dictator.

Mr. Kim’s totalitarian government, which strives to isolate its people from the outside world, has reacted angrily to the leaflets and loudspeaker broadcasts, calling them the “most undisguised acts of psychological warfare.” The North has also countered with propaganda. Last week, state-run television showed North Korean soldiers shooting at the image of Ms. Park with pistols and rifles.

South Korea has said it will target “the origins of attack” if its loudspeakers are hit. On Saturday, Ms. Park warned that the North’s military provocations and threats would “lead only to isolation and destruction.”

The Koreas are technically at war, the 1950-53 Korean War having ended with an armistice rather than a peace treaty.

[General Dryness]

Fuck me, a proper war. With defined sides and a front line and everything. None of this urban pacification, whose side are you on bollocks.

 

Old school.

[Jairzinho]

News in from North Korea -

 

Supreme leader Kim Jong-un has beaten the entire population of South Korea to death this evening. 

 

All of your bases are belong to us.

[njackets]

How the fuck can they have fired so much artillery at each other but there's been no damage or casualties reported? How shit are there artillary?

 

They're sat right next to each other on a border snarling all day how can you miss? Could be one long arse war!

[Anubis]

How the fuck can they have fired so much artillery at each other but there's been no damage or casualties reported? How shit are there artillary?

 

They're sat right next to each other on a border snarling all day how can you miss? Could be one long arse war!

It's like two 5 year olds squabbling. There is no intention of disturbing the status quo. They both just want to brag they fired some rockets across the border to prove who was the best, so they make sure they aim their fire where it won't actually hit anything.

[Bjornebye]

Total cunt but that king poo what ever his name is, is one funny fucker sendin a missile into South Korea to blow a speaker up haha

 

No fuckin about.

[Anny Road]

News in from North Korea -

 

Supreme leader Kim Jong-un has beaten the entire population of South Korea to death this evening. 

 

All of your bases are belong to us.

And then went and shot a 42 round of golf.

[Scott_M]

It'd be easier to just let people know when North Korea isn't in a state of war.

 

Absolute joke.