'The Smiths will reform in 2013'

[Teflon Don]

'Money Changes Everything', eh?

 

The Smiths will reform in 2013 - confirmed by several sources with rumour of Glastonbury | Music News | Holy Moly!

 

Mon, 01/10/2012 - 15:28 by Tim Chipping

 

We’ve now heard from several credible sources that The Smiths have agreed to reform in 2013 for four UK shows. And despite such rumours turning out to be total balls in the past, this one has enough weight to it that we’re prepared to call it confirmed, and hang the DJ consequences.

 

What we learned before we stopped watching The Newsroom was that you have two sources before you run with a news story. And we’ve got more than that, so…

 

What we’re hearing is…. The Smiths will reform in 2013.

 

It’s a done deal.

Dates are booked.

Glastonbury is one of four dates, presumably the Saturday on the Pyramid stage.

 

However, we have conflicting reports on who exactly is reuniting.

One report says it’s all four. Another says it’s only three (which would mean Mike Joyce still hasn’t been forgiven).

 

To add even more intrigue, let’s not forget that Coachella Festival promised to go 100% vegetarian next year, in an effort to attract a Smiths reunion. Morrissey himself made the following withering comment about the offer: “Fascinatingly they made it clear that they would ‘not require’ the Smiths’ bass player or drummer… which I thought certainly said something.”

 

The same festival dangled several million dollars in front of those other dysfunctional 80s indie legends the Cocteau Twins, only to have Liz Fraser pull out of the reunion a month before. So we know they've got the cash and the inclination.

 

And that’s all we know. What we think is that this all makes complete sense. Despite turning down $75 million for a Morrissey/Marr world tour in 2007, that was before The Stone Roses had reformed. And wouldn’t it please Stephen immensely to overshadow their third coming by doing the one thing he always said he wouldn’t do? There'd not be a bigger story in music. In 2013, a Smiths reunion would feel like Mozzer’s last laugh, rather than a reheating of past meat-free glories.

 

And there are few things more guaranteed to get everyone to stop calling you an arsehole than reforming the band everyone likes (it worked for Mike Love. For a bit).

 

Our guess is they’ll do V Festival too, as they pay the most (Glastonbury pays relatively little) and Morrissey played there in 2006 and 2011. And some kind of secret gig in Salford would probably be appropriate.

 

So there you go. We’ll still believe it when we see it. The slightest sniff of a pork scratching is likely to send him scurrying back to his castle.

 

Meanwhile Craig Gannon keeps refreshing his Hotmail page in a state of desperate optimism.

[stringvest]

they'll be like their own tribute act, but probably not quite as good.

[Karl_b]

This was just being discussed on 6Music and they were saying it's still only a rumour at this stage but also that it would only be "75%" of the band.

 

Can't see it happening, personally.

[silverlining]

This was just being discussed on 6Music and they were saying it's still only a rumour at this stage but also that it would only be "75%" of the band.

 

Can't see it happening, personally.

 

Only 75% of the band?

 

If there's no Mike Joyce you can count me out.

[Ted]

Shit anyway.

[TheBitch]

Rather hit myself in the face with a lump hammer than listen to their shite.

[Woo]

Not surprising that you two queers don't like The Smiths.

[TheBitch]

Not surprising that you two queers don't like The Smiths.

 

I wondered how long before you sniffed out a Smiths thread.

[Fugitive]

Is this news supposed to make people happy? Sad? depressed? Suicidal?

 

Music to cut yourself by from a big sour faced, moany, whinging vegetarian cunt. Never trust a man who dislikes bacon. This is the same cunt who cancelled a performance because he could smell meat being cooked nearby. He defo rapes farmyard animals, the manc cunt.

 

I usually try not to hate people but I make a special effort for this tart. I home he gets ran over by the fucking Burger King.

[dickie mint]

Great band but give the comeback a miss.

[Ted]

"I hope that's burning flesh."

 

No it's a burger, you fucking fanny; try one.

[Creator Supreme]

If that's true, I hope the Mayans have got this 2012 shit spot on.

[Nightcat]

at least that moaning veg can sing.

 

Unlike that piece of overrated garbage the Lolasis bros.

[Fugitive]

at least that moaning veg can sing.

 

Unlike that piece of overrated garbage the Lolasis bros.

 

Fucking hell.

 

What the fuck has happened to this place?

[DPW]

I'd rather watch Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

[Mendoza]

Morrissey attacks 'blustering jingoism' of Olympic Games | Music | guardian.co.uk

[Malarkey]

Shit anyway.

 

Go and listen to Fall Out Boy while wanking with that daft arse Coldplay bracelet around your neck.

[Fugitive]

"We all live in a murderous world, as the events in Norway have shown, with 97 dead. Though that is nothing compared to what happens in McDonald's and Kentucky Fried Shit every day."

 

*Shakes head*

[chauncey]

Anyone who pays actual money to watch whichever iteration of the Smiths reforms (if they do at all) is a fucking mug. And I say that as someone who worshipped Morrissey and Marr as a kid.

[Fugitive]

[El Rojo]

The quality of their output over four short years was just fucking immense. Most consistently brilliant band since The Beatles for me.

 

However, a fatter, tuneless version playing to 50,000 in a muddy field would just be hell. As Stringvest says, it would probably be even worse than a bad tribute group.

[Tom R]

shittest fucking band of all time. Ever.

Just below A1.

 

End of thread.

[The Golden Eel]

The Smiths are brilliant and anyone who says otherwise is a mong.

 

Fact. Nailed on. Cert.

[Fowlers God]

Slit me wrists- no thanks.

[Xherdan]

Great band, but Morrissey is an attention seeking cunt.