The X Factor

[lifetime fan]

Isn't it a requirement to have a sob story and be a vacuous attention-seeking cunt to go on that show? I still don't watch but I always remember being sent a Youtube link which had 2 fellas doing their audition as a duo. One of them was singing and the other was adding some Shaggy-style 'Mr Lover Lover Mmm' shite and all the judges fell about pissing themselves laughing. It genuinely was a funny as fuck.

 

I used to joke with Carly I was going to attend an audition, I can't sing for shit and would definitely have been shown on telly as one of the fucking idiots that's tone deaf.

 

'Well you're a big enough prick so you probably would get on the telly' was her response. And she used to enjoy the programme.

[Strontium]

I do think it's out of order how they humiliate clearly mental cases just to take the piss out of them on national television.

 

NB not talking about you lifey, just to be clear

[lifetime fan]

I do think it's out of order how they humiliate clearly mental cases just to take the piss out of them on national television.

 

NB not talking about you lifey, just to be clear

 

Never thought you were mate.

[Boss]

Chicken man was the last truly great moment, probably because it was fresh and hadn't been done to death. The look he gave afterwards when they asked him "is this a joke?", and he's like "no" and you can tell from his eyes he's completely serious. The sheer bafflement at the question overcomes him in that moment because he work's in a chicken factory and he's waited his whole life for this precise moment, expecting to be told he's the next Ziggy 'Tard-dust.

 

Then your laughing because the whole thing is funny as fuck, but inside your also in pain because that's his life and it kind of breaks your heart as well. it's got multiple layers... like an onion, it's the Terence Malik of song based public humiliation.

[Tony Moanero]

The X Factor is shit, but I hated that Rage Against The Machine facecunt campaign more. Loads of massive knobbers sitting behind their keyboards, wanking themselves silly.

[lifetime fan]

The X Factor is shit, but I hated that Rage Against The Machine facecunt campaign more. Loads of massive knobbers sitting behind their keyboards, wanking themselves silly.

 

Without the intelligence to work out Cowell had the rights to the song too.

[lifetime fan]

She was shite, if she's not on an asbo I'm naked in Burtons window tomorrow.

 

She'd have a bucket the size of those earrings the slag. 

[KMD7]

Just checked it out this evening. Mel B is much way sexier than Cheryl imo. She's in great nick. Section has it right on Cole with that dead behind the eyes reference. Still would though obviously

[Bjornebye]

Cheryl tweedy is gorgeous.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Porn is so much better with a cock in it. Does that make me gay?

No mate, it's just a total coi cidence that you're a massive bender.

[Bjornebye]

No mate, it's just a total coi cidence that you're a massive bender.

Ray Quinn has the evidence

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Ray Quim.

 

 

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

WOOOOOOOOO

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

QUIM!!

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

 

OH YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID, UH HUH.

 

 

 

[Sugar Ape]

No mate, it's just a total coi cidence that you're a massive bender.

 

Phew! Had me worried I was turning into a Stig then.

[Sugar Ape]

We should start a TLW dictionary thread.

 

Someone is a bender - A Stig.

Someone is a sexy bastard - A Stouff.

Somone is a tramp/Pauper/Scruffy bastard - A Moof.

[Bjornebye]

I'm a massive bender

 

Also watching x factor

 

 

 

that chloe the blonde cunt is the cunts cunt and i hate her and want her to die

 

anyone else watching this? 

[Section_31]

Yeah been watching it, never ceases to amaze me what a total lack of soul Cheryl Cole has, I always wondered why someone would rather stick a Nokia up their arse than be in her company, but now I'm starting to see why.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Haven't been watching it but I'm told some Italian cunt is good?

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

We should start a TLW dictionary thread.

 

Someone is a bender - A Stig.

Someone is a sexy bastard - A Stouff.

Somone is a tramp/Pauper/Scruffy bastard - A Moof.

I don't get my own entry?

[Spy Bee]

There are a couple of lads who can really sing in this this year. Paul (something beginning with A I think) has a voice like Otis Redding.

[Bjornebye]

That scouse bird has oceans more talent than that fucking blonde twat 

[Sugar Ape]

Someone who gets his arse handed to him by TK- A Número.

 

Be honest, that one hurt didn't it?

[Spy Bee]

In the overs there's a girl whose eyes are literally 10mm apart. How did they squeeze her nose on to her face?

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Someone who gets his arse handed to him by TK- A Número.

 

Be honest, that one hurt didn't it?

Haha, TK I can handle. Had you said Coro... That'd sting.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Most of them can't sing, do they just drag them in from karaoke events, the shit fucking cunts. Plus when you have twats like Cole giving out her pearls of wisdom it gets to ironic. Once watched her trying to sing live on TV and it was fucking ear aids. The  X factor is all about the judges and their fucking egos, (especially Cowell and that cock munching cunt Walsh) and one singer who is probably the winner before any live shows start, someone Cowell can use to print easy money, the fucking cock. 

[Section_31]

Tell you what always makes me laugh, when they say 'this is my dream, it's all I want to do.'

 

Why don't you start a band then? Do some open mic gigs? Make a YouTube video? Send some demos off, do some musical theatre. What they usually mean is they want to be famous.