What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[TheHowieLama]

3 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

It's a fucking disgrace,

Repulsive on multiple levels.

[Bjornebye]

Karl if you uploaded that breakfast to facebook nonce S.W.A.T would be through the door within minutes 

 

Mines better 

[Bob]

3 hours ago, Karl_b said:

It's been a while since I contributed and even longer (years) since it was a home cooked effort. The wife is veggie so I can never be bothered with cooking a full breakfast just for me and prefer to go out. We went out for a walk yesterday and walked past the butchers, me and the dog gave each other a knowing look and I nipped in for some quality local pork products.

 

2 x Proper Fucking Lincolnshire Sausages.

3 x Smoked cured bacon.

2 x fried eggs, perfectly cooked.

Beans, obviously.

1 x slice of frsh sourdough (normally I'd have toast but this was still warm having baked it first thing).

 

Pretty pleased with my efforts, 7.5/10. Bring it on, you cunts.

 

Edit - the dog got 2 sausages, 10/10 from him.

 

I’d want that bread toasted, even with it being freshly baked. Toast with a break or is as much for consistency as anything.

 

given it was freshly baked, I’d have snook in a slice with butter while cooking breakfast and been satisfied with the best of both worlds.

 

Otherwise, all looks grand. Personal preference would be a plainer flavoured sausage than a Lincolnshire, but that’s just me, and I’d love to see some mushrooms, but that’s quibbling.  

[Pidge]

3 hours ago, Karl_b said:

It's been a while since I contributed and even longer (years) since it was a home cooked effort. The wife is veggie so I can never be bothered with cooking a full breakfast just for me and prefer to go out. We went out for a walk yesterday and walked past the butchers, me and the dog gave each other a knowing look and I nipped in for some quality local pork products.

 

2 x Proper Fucking Lincolnshire Sausages.

3 x Smoked cured bacon.

2 x fried eggs, perfectly cooked.

Beans, obviously.

1 x slice of frsh sourdough (normally I'd have toast but this was still warm having baked it first thing).

 

Pretty pleased with my efforts, 7.5/10. Bring it on, you cunts.

 

Edit - the dog got 2 sausages, 10/10 from him.

 

Looking good, guessing the blackening on the eggs is because you've actually fried everything, rather than burned them. 

 

Needs black pudding and a fried tomato, but looks great all in all. 

 

No conker though, fucking prick.

[TheHowieLama]

8 minutes ago, Pidge said:

 

No conker though, fucking prick.

Yep, those are key.

[cloggypop]

Keeps the spiders off your breakfast as well. 

[Bjornebye]

Defo wasn't expecting Stronz brekkie not to be the worst thing this weekend. 

[Curly]

14 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

You horrible horrible bastard 

You should be sitting on the naughty step and thinking about what you’ve done still after that last entry. In your house of glass

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, belarus said:

You should be sitting on the naughty step and thinking about what you’ve done still after that last entry. In your house of glass

No I shouldn't. 

[General Dryness]

On 20/01/2021 at 20:18, Bjornebye said:

Richmond Meat Free Sausages, Scrambled Egg, Vegan Black Pudding, Cherry Tomatoes and Sardines. Come at me. 

 

I hope someone smashes your face through every window in the Burj Khalifa for that. Fucking sardines you cunt.

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

I hope someone smashes your face through every window in the Burj Khalifa for that. Fucking sardines you cunt.

Get some omega 3 in you you fucking trestle table 

[General Dryness]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Get some omega 3 in you you fucking trestle table 

On a breakfast though man. It's an affront to humanity.

[Bjornebye]

10 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

On a breakfast though man. It's an affront to humanity.

Fuck off before I finger your cat

[Guest]

On 28/02/2021 at 18:07, Bjornebye said:

Fuck all wrong with mine there. Nothing at all.  

Was that taken off the Rate my Plate thread? If it wasn't, it should have. 

[General Dryness]

12 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Fuck off before I finger your cat

He'd take your fingering and then never call you again. Snubbed. By a cat.

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

Was that taken off the Rate my Lack of Common Decency thread? If it wasn't, it should have. 

Fixed.

[Strontium]

An army marches on its stomach. I am sorely tempted...

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/174658101186

[Remmie]

Just now, Strontium Dog™ said:

An army marches on its stomach. I am sorely tempted...

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/174658101186

You do know this is a form of self-harm right? Do you need a hug? 

[Curly]

Tried a new place.

 

The Full Monty - £6.95

2 bacon

2 eggs

2 sausage

2 black pudding 

Beans

Tomatoes

2 Hash browns

Mushrooms

2 Toast

 

Egg was overdone, bacon was underdone, but overall a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

 

7/10

 

Go and fuck yourselves 

[DJLJ]

Do you have pictures of it after it was cooked?

[Geoff Woade]

2 minutes ago, belarus said:

Tried a new place.

 

The Full Monty - £6.95

2 bacon

2 eggs

2 sausage

2 black pudding 

Beans

Tomatoes

2 Hash browns

Mushrooms

2 Toast

 

Egg was overdone, bacon was underdone, but overall a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

 

7/10

 

Go and fuck yourselves 

Hideous. Those sausages are turgid, the eggs are an atrocity and the bread looks like it was toasted in the microwave.

[YorkshireRed]

Firstly, thanks for reigniting my favourite thread and breathing life into my hungover mind. 
 

The tomatoes look like they’ve already been eaten, puked up on someone’s shoes, scraped off and put back on your plate. 
 

The eggs look ashamed of themselves. So they should. 
 

Those sausages look suspiciously like Richmond’s. Hope you shoved them down the lug holes of whoever dared serve you them. 
 

Nice serving of beans. 
 

It’s not bacon whilst it’s still alive which this looks like it is. 
 

I like a hash brown so I’d have wanted more than one. 
 

Mushrooms and black pudding look like afterthoughts.

 

Toast cut into triangles. Go fuck yourself and all that sail on you. 

[Jairzinho]

19 minutes ago, belarus said:

Toast

[Trumo]

16 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

Hideous. Those sausages are turgid, the eggs are an atrocity and the bread looks like it was toasted in the microwave under a light bulb.

.

[Barrington Womble]

26 minutes ago, belarus said:

Tried a new place.

 

The Full Monty - £6.95

2 bacon

2 eggs

2 sausage

2 black pudding 

Beans

Tomatoes

2 Hash browns

Mushrooms

2 Toast

 

Egg was overdone, bacon was underdone, but overall a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

 

7/10

 

Go and fuck yourselves 

Where are you going for a sit down breakfast?